So Oranjello keeps climbing onto this shelf he’s not supposed to climb on… Becuase Carolyn used to keep the catnip there. Fucking drug addict. So I tried to grab him to punish him as he ran away… I lunged for his tail…

Next thing you know, I’m screaming in pain, face down in the couch. I managed to lunch right into the edge of the couch. What I thought were couch cushions was really the hard wooden frame of the couch. I basically slammed a piece of wood horizontally across my heart.

I really thought my heart had stopped or something. It fucking HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURT.

12 hours later, there’s still no bruise. But it hurts like HELL. Every time I rolled over from sleeping on my left side, to my right side, I yelped aloud in pain. Leaning forward really hurts. Making certain sounds with my voice hurts.

Did I bruise my fucking heart? What the hell. There’s no visible bruise. It’s about as intense as waking up with a bad back that lasts for 2 days. This shit suuuuuuuuuuucks.

Mood: hurty
Music: KMFDM – Liebeslied