[IMDB link] [Netflix link] Watching all 10 (I thought it was 9) Star Trek movies in a row!
PEOPLE: Leonard Nimoy wrote, directed, and of course starred in this. First they have to give him a death scene to convince him to do Star Trek 2, then they have to let him direct to convince him to do Star Trek 3, and now they have to let him write to do Star Trek 4? And he’s in the new 2009/2010 upcoming Star Trek film, but Shatner isn’t? Methinks Leonard Nimoy may actually have a bigger ego than William Shatner, and just does a good job hiding it.
Other than that, it’s the same people. There’s not much supporting cast in this movie compared to most. You get Catherine Hicks (7th Heaven), and the original Star Trek crew, and both of Spock‘s parents (seeing his mom for the first time since 1967), and that’s really about all the significant characters in the movie. Plans to include Eddie Murphy were fortunately shelved.
QUIRKS: It’s still the continuing story that was started in Star Trek 2. I affectionately call this “Star Trek 2: 3″, in the same way that I affectionately call Star Trek 3 “Star Trek 2: 2″. The movies are really kind of a trilogy in a way.
This also has some aspects I haven’t seen since Star Trek 1: A probe that threatens planet earth.
The computer used in it was an Apple Mac, because Apple was willing to loan them a computer. They wanted it to be an Amiga, but Commodore would only do this if they bought one. Selfish, selfish Commodore. If only your history could have been different, you might still be changing the world today, Commodore.
They had to go to Alaska because Diane Feinstein is a bitch. (If you read the trivia, this comment will make sense.)
The only time Kirk ever actually says, “Scotty, Beam me up.”
ONLY ONE SONG?!?!?!:: Yes, there’s only 1 song on the soundtrack — the punk “I Hate You”, by Edge Of Etiquette, which really just means Kirk R. Thatcher, who is the punk on the bus that Kirk told to turn down the music. He was promoted from visual effects to associate producer due to how much he helped the film. He currently does music for Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends. This song is not released, but I did find reference to a 96kbps mp3 of it being posted HERE (originally mentioned on Kirk Thatcher’s IMDB discussion board, where people who had been looking for the song for 20 years finally found it).
VISUALS: Probably the least visuals of any Star Trek movie. Since they [highlight for spoilers]→ time travel back to the present day, like in some episodes of the original series, there’s really not many “special” things to add “effects” for. Ergo hardly any “special effects”. No space battles. Nobody gets shot.
MORALS: Save the whales!
BAD STUFF: Save the whales?!?! Really?!?!
Plus, Kirk fails to get laid. They build up this romantic angle, [highlight for spoilers]→ and then just abort it into nothingness at the very end of the movie, with barely an explanation.
CHILD “RAPE”: According to IMDB trivia, “A scene written for but cut from the film explained why Saavik stays on Vulcan: she is pregnant with Spock‘s child, stemming from an event in Star Trek 3. This was the character’s final appearance in a Star Trek film.” Uhh.. If you remember Star Trek 3, Spock was growing up at an accelerated rate due to the Genesis effect. He was feeling his first horny-pangs, something Vulcans get every 7 years. They started rubbing fingers and such. We joked along the lines of, “she’s going to give a hand job to boy-Spock!” Well, this cut scene seems to indicate she got pregnant from events in Star Trek 3 (according to IMDB), and not from events between Star Trek 3 and Star Trek 4 (3 “Star Trek Universe” months elapsed between the 2 movies).
This means she fucked a kid! Child rape! Put her on a sex offender registry list! Take her kids away from her! Don’t ever let her work with or near kids again! Make her live under a bridge and eat rats! (Actually… Spock would have had something to brag about to his fellow teenage Vulcans… If any were around. And if Vulcans had egos. And Savaak was just doing Spock a favor, since Vulcan horniness actually kills them if they don’t get laid.)
MISTAKEN VOICE ACTORS: Although a minor part in the movie, damn if Brock Peters‘s voice doesn’t sound almost exactly like Phil LaMarr‘s voice when he does the Green Lantern. I was positive it was the voice of Green Lantern from Justice League, but no, it was Lucious Fox from Batman:TAS (1990s) (who was played by Morgan Freeman in The Dark Knight). Apparently it’s just a type of voice that both of these actors commonly use. Brock Peters, best known from To Kill A Mockingbird, has done a few cartoon voices. The Batman role I just mentioned, as well as Bloth from The Pirates Of Darkwater. But Phil LaMarr is definitely who I was mistaking his voice for. LaMarr is Randy Robertson in Greg Weisman‘s Spectacular Spider-Man, newscaster Ollie Williams in Family Guy, Dracula from The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy, Black Vulcan from Harvey Birdman:Attorney At Law, the Earth King from Avatar:The Last Airbender (which will be by M. Night Shyamalan for his next feature film), Green Lantern from Justice League, Static from Static Shock (yuck), Hermes from Futurama, and most surprisingly, Samurai Jack from Samurai Jack. And only his Green Lantern, Randy Robertson, and Black Vulcan roles sounds like Brock Peters in Star Trek 4.
CONCLUSION: While this movie has some nice ridiculous, humorous aspects, it may be the worst Star Trek movie yet. Now that I have rewatched Star Trek 1, and formed a new opinion of it — it’s not unfathomable that this movie is actually worse than Star Trek 1. Here’s where I might discern the two: Star Trek 1 is a better Star Trek movie than Star Trek 4 — but Star Trek 4 is a better movie (popcorn movie) than Star Trek 1, which hurt us with it’s slowness at parts. We couldn’t stand 2001, even though there are some really cool parts — because the bad parts are so bad that the scars remain forever! Similarly, Star Trek 1 practically injured us at points with the boredom level… But it’s still a movie that’s truer to the feel of Star Trek in general than Star Trek 4. Star Trek 4 feels like Hollywood suits got their fingers into the plot. It’s still a good movie, but… It’s just ridiculous at many points. More ridiculous than Christopher Lloyd as a Klingon in Star Trek 3.
RECOMMENDATION: You gotta see Spock and Kirk cuss! They just don’t do that anywhere else. Of course I would still recommend watching this movie.
MOVIE QUOTE: Spock‘s Father: “Do you have a message for your mother?”
Spock: “Yes. Tell her I feel fine.”
(I love this, because it reminds me of Futurama, with The Neutrals, where the neutral alien dies, and says, “If you see my wife… Tell her… Hello.”)
FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Christian really liked it (4 stars), while Ian, Dad, Glen, and Benj liked it (3 stars). 7/10 on IMDB because it’s still a Star Trek movie. (more…)
