KinderTrauma accepted my story about the silence before The Electric Company scaring the shit out of me as a kid. It's basically a paste of my blogpost, but with new comments by people who don't know me.
Hmm.. has anyone coined the word Vietnobama? With the Obama Administration admitting there are only 100 Al Queda in Afghanistan, and everyone thinking Bin Laden is no longer there … Why are we still fighting there? We never cared about the Taliban in the 1990s. Very interesting.
I still think the oil pipeline is a big factor here. There's simply no reason to continue there. Especially with the tactics we have to resort to. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Wow. They're even having to say "no, we're not protecting him!" But c'mon. If someone trumps up HUNDREDS of fake DUI charges, to the point that the news is showing dashcam video that contradicts testimony — are we to believe that there's no way to find this person guilty? What total bullshit.
Anita Alvarez is a worthless waste of taxpayer money, and Dan Kirk is full of shit too. Let's not forget the names of those who protect lying cops who disrupt and ruin hundreds of lives. They are traitors to America.
Chicago has one of the most corrupt police histories in the country. We're talking about 10s of 1000s of people tortured in past decades. And they still protect their own.
So much for your right to a speedy trial by a jury of your peers!
Friday, February 5th, 2010
February 5, 2010
February 5, 2010
LIMERICK REVIEW: There once were a bunch of crazy Jackasses.
Hurting themselves for the pleasure of the masses.
Torturing themselves in horrible ways;
They must have been sore for many days.
I felt Schadenfreude for their dignity, penises and asses.
HAIKU REVIEW: People hurt themselves
PEOPLE: The standard Jackass crew: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, Wee Man, Spike Jonze, etc. With cameos by Tony Hawk and some “BMX legend”, who was the only one to successfully do a flip off a ramp with a jet-powered bicycle, as well as John Waters.
I bet no one knew that Spike Jonze (obviously named after Weird Al Yankovic‘s inspiration, Spike Jones, of the 1940s and 1950s) wrote a lot of Jackass, as well as the screenplay for the new Where The Wild Things Are movie. AND he was in Three Kings.
Yes, they drink [highlight for spoilers]→ horse semen. And yes, someone there puked as it was happening. Yes, Steve-O purposely attached a [highlight for spoilers]→ leech to his eyeball. Yes, Steve-O actually put a hook through his cheek, attached himself to a fishing line, and dangled in shark-infested waters — much like the scene in Waterworld where The Mariner uses himself as bait. A shark almost bit his foot off, but he accidentally kicked it away. Yes, Johnny Knoxville ties himself to a rocket that they then launch, inspired by Wile E. Coyote. Yes, the brand someone’s ass with a penis. Yes, they wrestle with multiple anacondas, and play with cobras and bulls as well. And bees. They also have a prank within a prank within a prank where the person who thinks he’s running the prank is actually pranked into actually thinking he’s actually going to die. All while [highlight for spoilers]→ unknowingly wearing a beard of his peers’ pubes. Yes, they test out riot explosives. On themselves. Yes, a beer enema is completely consumed by Steve-O’s ass, and it’s a damn shame they didn’t use NoFX‘s song “Party Enema” for this part. Yes, one of them eats horse shit for $200, in a scene reminiscent of the final scene in John Waters’s Pink Flamingos film. Yes, they get a quadriplegic athlete to fit his wheelchair with rockets, then send him rocketing off a ramp into a lake.
SOUNDTRACK: Slayer‘s excellent song “Spill The Blood” from Reign In Blood graces the soundtrack.
VISUALS: Gorey, crazy shit. All of the aforementioned events, and more. Really, it’s non-stop. It’s so intense that breaks will need to be taken just to catch your breath.
MORALS: These guys have no morals and will do anything for a laugh. And it works.
BAD STUFF: Almost gagging. Almost puking. Squirming in your seat while watching unimaginable horrors. Looking away. Movies like Saw 2 make me flinch, but those are fiction. This is not.
Loathe as I am to admit it, this is the pinnacle of grade-A entertainment. As far as “reality” goes, this is 1000X realer than American Idol, and 100,000X more entertaining. I think I’d rather participate in most of these pranks than be forced to watch the suckfest known as American Idol.
I haven’t laughed as hard as I laughed while watching this movie in MONTHS.
I haven’t squirmed as hard as I squirmed while watching this movie in MONTHS.
This is an intense experience of comedy, grossness, and the realization that the human body isn’t as fragile as we think it is — or these guys would be SO DEAD.
RECOMMENDATION: If you can stand it, watch this. It’s frickin’ amazing. I don’t remember how it compares to the first Jackass film because these movies are a blur. But as far as reality-oriented offerings go, this is 10/10. I only dock it 1 point on IMDB because of all the gagging and intense disgustingness. But should I really dock it a point for delivering exactly what it promised?
SIMILAR MOVIES: Jackass 1. Jackass 2.5. Camp Kill Yourself. Or any painful reality video…
MOVIE QUOTE: Bam Margera: Please God, don’t let there be a “Jackass 3″.