movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Fuck Gods.

PEOPLE: From the director of The Transporter 2 and The Incredible Hulk (2008) (the Ed Norton one), and who watched the original movie a lot while growing up. Perseus is played by Sam Worthington (Avatar, Terminator Salvation). Zeus by Liam Neeson. Hades by Ralph Fiennes (Voldemort from Harry Potter, The Hurt Locker, Cemetery Junction, Sunshine). Io by Gemma Arterton (St. Trinian’s 1 & 2). Big cast, actually. Lots of characters that you don’t even really get to know.

QUIRKS: A remake of the 1981 movie. I watched the original sooooooo many times. In fact, when I was a child, the only action figure I ever bought new was a Perseus action figure from the original Clash Of The Titans movie. However, this remake’s plot is quite different from the original’s.

VISUALS: Way better than the original. Seeing it in 3-D would probably be cool, but we only saw it in 2-D. I hear they only converted it to 3-D after the fact. People whine about that. But I saw Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D, and it was AMAZING. That movie was not shot in 3-D either. After-the-fact conversions *do* work, so I’m not going to automatically discount the 3-D version. Maybe someday I’ll watch this in 3-D at home, when we have a 3-D setup.

The original… looks like an episode of Land Of The Lost! It’s very obviously like… clay model monsters. If put in theatres today, people would laugh hard.

WILHELM SCREAM: One (we didn’t notice).

MORALS: Fuck gods.

BAD STUFF: The standard “worst movie ever” type hate that EVERY movie remake or book/comic/video game adaptation gets. The very fans that inspire remakes are the ones who criticize them the most. They’re lame. I mean — the movie was made by someone who watched the original a lot while growing up! Then again, maybe they have a point. And it WAS rushed — it could have been 45 minutes longer and not felt so rushed. I’m still not super critical with eye-candy fantasy-action movies. They’re obviously popcorn entertainment, and we were definitely entertained.

More hate here and here.

CONCLUSION: Tough to say how I feel; my judgment is clouded with comparisons to the original, even though watching the original today would be like watching Land Of The Lost (i.e. laughably bad special effects). The eye candy was certainly better (HD vs the VHS I watched the old version in *every day for a full summer*). But it seemed to be missing SOMEthing. Not sure what. Maybe it was simply that I was not watching this as a child.

One thing to note — I have not seen the original in decades. That way, I didn’t get all pissed off when things worked out differently.

RATINGS:

Clint: Netflix: 3.4/5 stars (high 3). IMDB: 7.4/10 (high 7). I was tempted to give this 4/5 stars (“really like”) and 8/10, but ended up with 3/5 (a high 3), 7/10 (a high 7). I’m not sure if I’m really being consistent with myself — I wrote this review weeks after watching it, and the post-movie high has faded. Carolyn dropped her rating too. Maybe we just forgot the good parts? I mean, Hades was pretty cool.

Carolyn: Netflix: 3.6/5 stars (low 4). IMDB: 7.6/10 (low 8).

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.0/10, Netflix: 3.5/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.6/5 stars).

RECOMMENDATION: Watch it for popcorn entertainment. DO NOT HOLD IT IN COMPARISON TO THE ORIGINAL. It’s best that you consider it a completely different movie, not really a remake.

SIMILAR MOVIES: I don’t quite see why this is necessary — but there’s going to be a sequel in 2012. Also, check out Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief. It’s basically Clash Of The Titans meets Harry Potter.

MOVIE QUOTE: Perseus: If I do this, I do it as a man.
Draco: But you are not JUST a man!

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Ian‘s review here. (He didn’t like it.). Bunny Day says: “the original is so intensely important to my formation that i’m not really sure how to articulate it.”

OTHER REVIEWS:
Outlaw Vern likes it a lot.

Mood: tired and catching up
Music: NoMeansNo – No Big Surprise