May 2008


 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] I’m sure most people who are going to watch this already have, but I had decided against it, based on what I perceived as over-hype (I also never saw Independence Day or Titanic). Then I noticed it was directed by Ridley Scott, of Blade Runner and Alien fame. After seeing that Ian didn’t like it, I asked him for reassurance, and he said that, at the very least, I would get “epic violence” out of it. So I figured, what the hell — we’ve been watching so many comedies… Let’s do an action/drama/revenge flick instead. It was entertaining, but… Not quite my favorite genre. And the 126th best movie of all time? You have GOT to be fucking kidding me!
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 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] A horror flick, told in 3 parts (but ONE story), about an “evil signal” that makes people murderous via synaptic disruption. To me, this makes it a “zombie movie”, but with smater-than-usual zombies. The infection is done via a means much like In The Mouth Of Madness, and the feel reminds me a lot of 28 Days Later (urban zombie survival) combined with Cloverfield (realistic feel, lovers trying to reunite during what is essentially an apocalypse). And, just to keep you on the toes, the beginning 5 minutes play like Grindhouse for some reason.

QUIRKS: The catch is — infection is cumulative, so you can’t tell if someone is “crazy” (infected/zombie) by looking at them. Or even speaking with them, in some cases. This makes things a lot harder. Do you indicriminately kill everyone you see? Also: I wasn’t really familiar with any of the actors in this movie, which added to the “realistic” feel. Also, I thought it was cool how ‘the signal’ itself pushed the limits of the xvid codec. The signal itself does not compress very well–that implies it carries a lot of information. :)

BAD STUFF: Why oh why would anybody wear headphones during a zombie attack? That’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of.

CONCLUSION: OMG! As far as horror movies go, this is at least a 9! Horror movies aren’t that profound, though, and as a film overall I would give it an 8 on IMDB, and 4 stars on Netflix.

RECOMMENDATION: If you watch 2 horror movies this year, watch Cloverfield and The Signal.

MOVIE QUOTE: Clark: “This is without a doubt the most fucked up day in the history of mankind. We should go back inside.” Anna: [cheerful, despite just killing her boyfriend] “Who wants cocktails?”
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I'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] Another movie written by Daniel Waters, writer of Heathers and Sex & Death 101. This was your typical “summer camp” movie, and probably the worst move solely written by Daniel Waters. This definitely does not measure up to Heathers and Sex & Death 101. It’s a teenage summer camp story, so it’s on the “lite” side of entertainment. It’s not meant ot be profound. I still liked it.

CONCLUSION: This was a great way to re-experience teenage angst without the acne. I have a love for camping, but got screwed out of camping as a kid. My Boy Scout troop only camped twice in like 2 years… and then we dissolved. Slackers. One was a Jamboree with 100s (1000+?) of people camping at Quantico Military Base. It was one of the most fun experiences of my childhood. Other than that? I was left wanting for years, until 2001 or so when I started camping regularly. So: I had a desire to camp more as a kid, and this movie let me live out the summer camp fantasy … Something that I will never get the chance to live firsthand. And that chick named Pixel in the movie was really cool. Her and that other girl should have made out more… (Oh, NOW you’re interested?)

RECOMMENDATION: If a non-profound teenage summer camp movie doesn’t already scare you away, you might like this. Daniel Waters is a good writer, and while this is not his best work, I have a feeling it is better than some other summer camp movies out there. I’d give it 3 stars on netflix. Maybe 6.75/10 on IMDB (I think Carolyn said 6).

MOVIE QUOTE: Pixel: “Actually, causing pain is about the coolest thing you can do — but cool isn’t what it used to be. “
MOVIE QUOTE: Oberon: “Nobody tells you how to be an adult. You just keep getting older anyway.”
MOVIE QUOTE: Adam: “Hey, have you ever had a pussy wrapped completely around your head?” “No.” “Then what are you… a butthole baby?… haha butthole baby.”

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Benj gave it 4 stars on Netflix. (more…)

The motherfucking pool table is finally moved to the motherfucking basement! Finally!!!  The endeavor took a whopping 63 days (timeline below), though it only took 4 days from calling the right people  (Higgins Billiard Supply).


The job — finally finished. It’s about time. I called Higgins Billiard Supply, and the job was done in 3 days. They knew what they were doing, and they did it. No cancellations or dicking around. Compare this to calling J L’s Pool Table Services (Justin Lawrence), where the table was still not moved 33 days after my intial contact (full timeline below). Thus, this post has the tag “Companies That Screwed Me Over” — for J.L.’s Pool Table Services untimely manner in dealing with me. If you need a pool table moved — Call Higgins Billiard Supply instead! Tell them Clint‘s Blog sent you there :)


Ball return. I retrieved about 6 blue cubes of pool chalk, as well as a 9-volt battery with built-in water meter (WTF).


Refelting (it’s not actually felt, BTW) in progress. They were impressed that I used the correct term of “spray adhesive”, but I use that stuff all the time to decorate (for example, speakers with neat magazine clippings and such). They also had these $200 suction cup handles that seemed like something Catwoman would use. Those, dollies, and blankets were used to move it.

The pool table had to come out of our main room, down the hall, out the front, across the front of the driveway, down the side yard, stepping down from 2-foot retaining wall, across the back of the house, into the kitchen back door, through the narrow hallway that connects the kitchen do our rec room, and across the rec room. Of course, moving it was only about half the time — the other time was spent re-felting. And they gave me a good deal too — so they definitely get a plug on my blog! That’s Higgins Billiard Supply.


Oranjello liked their tools. He had to spend a lot of the time locked in the bathroom. He actually had at least one opportunity to escape, too — but he didn’t take it. Both the pool table guys were from Woodbridge, so we actually ended up discussing which high schools and middle schools we went to — among other topics such as 2 Girls 1 Cup, crazy people at parties, fisting, and kittens (but not fisting kittens). It’s nice when people have real personalities and are wiling to bring the conversation to any topic at any level. It’s nice when people aren’t stuck up.   Full timeline below, after the jump: (more…)

let us try hotlinking movie covers from netflix instead of <a target=I'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] This was a light-hearted caper about a cat burglar who times his robberies by singing show tunes. For example, he can name the song length (accurate to the second) of any show tune. Eventually, he is blackmailed (by many) to steal a device Leonardo Da Vinci created to turn lead into gold. The climax takes place in the Vatican, I believe.

PEOPLE: Screenplay in part by Daniel Waters, writer of Heathers and Sex & Death 101. That’s why we got this movie. Bruce Willis and Andie MacDowell star, and there are several other well-known actors as well.

BAD STUFF: The undeniable fact that I truly want to fuck Sandra Bernhard, despite thinking she was severely thumped with the ugly stick, and despite hating her both inside and outside (except her body). WHY??!?!?!?! Please make it stop. I feel dirty.

CONCLUSION: Having 1 writer from Heathers does not make it automatically good. This was a decent “goofy caper”, but not a superb film.

QUIRKS: I hate show tunes and coffee — but if you absolutely love both of those, it might improve the movie for you.

RECOMMENDATION: For people who watch high quantities of movies only, or like the aforementioned quirks.

MOVIE QUOTE: Cardinal: “Oh, the Pope warned me never to trust the CIA!”

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Benj (Beth B’s brother who has rated 3500+ movies) gave it 5 stars on Netflix. I disagree
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