A special thanks to Hechinger for installing our new front door backwards many years ago — I should never have let them. This meant they had to turn our storm door around the opposite direction (for free). The bracket broke after a hurricane in 2003 or so, and the door has never closed automaticlly since. Virginia Design Builders were categorically incapable of EVER closing the door, despite the fact that even though the automatic door closer isn’t broken, storm doors save money, and they cost me money in yet another way. Thank you Dan Lopez.

And a special thanks to Hechinger for installing our downstairs storm door (same day, custom door width, close to $500) in such a way that within 2 years, there was visible rot on the outside of the door, the knob only worked in the upwards direction, and — drumroll — the door closer didn’t work. (For this door, the closer closes — but it only SLAMS, it doesn’t close slowly like closers are supposed to.)

I ended up spending over an hour trying to track down the replacement storm door handle. Apparently it’s a Lowe’s brand door (Larson). So the people I got at Hechingers didn’t even buy their door at Hechingers. Great. Lowe’s is farther! Problem still not solved.

I bought a new door closer at Home Depot. After studying my 2 storm doors closely, I decided this one closer can fix both doors. Upstairs the problem is that the bracket was ripped off — so I installed the bracket from the new closer there.

Downstairs, the bracket is fine — it’s the arm itself that is broken (it slams, instead of closes gently). So I will install the arm from the new closer there.

Buying 1 door closer at Home Depot and fixing 2 door closers with it is SO MUCH WIN.

Mood: how can i feel swamped?
Music: Voltaire – Cannibal Buffet