Culdcept is an insane game, a combination of Monpoly and Magic The Gathering.

I decided to post the book I used to win my Gooba / Gooba Queen medal. Non-players should stop reading, but may be impressed with the level of thought in the strategy of this game. It’s also available for Xbox360 and I strongly encourage people to get it. I’ve clocked almost 500 hours now, and Carolyn’s up there too (300 hours?).
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So the Gooba Queen medal — fill the whole board with Gooba — is exceedingly hard, because Gooba is one of the weakest cards, and because you can’t draw it. You have to create it with Gooba Queens, which require you to own 2 greens before you can deploy. With only 10ST(?) and 10HP(?), it really can’t kill anybody, and can’t survive anything ever. The only advantage it has is that it costs only about 30G to deploy, giving you cheap territories.

So anyway, to get this medal you have to actually battle and beat your opponent down. You have to win as many battles as possible, but it’s just damn impossible to keep up with the enemy. Goobas often take several tries just to kill one creature. You often are waiting to draw spell attack cards that might kill creatuers as well. Meanwhile, the enemy is playing stuff faster than you can kill it.

…In the end, you must toll him out by getting Level 5 lands. But of course, Gooba is so easy to kill, they’d likely steal the Level 5 land right from you! This is really only possible playing against Goligan (thanks for the tip Christian D!), as his personality is to not attack if a territory is occupied (unless it’s the only one you have in that color, then he’ll gladly interfere with you–really annoying).

As such, the strategy is basically: Fill the board up as fast as possible. Attack the enemy every possible chance. Level up as much as you can. Toll him out so he loses territory. Take the spaces created. Continue killing anything that pops up.

This takes awhile. It works best with a larger goal, so you have more time to level everything up while getting your ass constantly kicked. It’s such a slow process that I had to keep raising my goal everytime I played, because I would reach the goal and accidentally win before I could fill the board up with Gooba! I spent considerable energy committing suicide and trying NOT to win, and STILL not getting the medal!
Thisa lso works better with a smaller lapped map, so you can walk over your Gooba Queens more often, deploying more Gooba faster.

This really only leaves one choice: Play Dunnan [the first/smallest map] against Goligan, with no round limit, to a goal of 40000G. Of course, Goligan needs to use his crappy deck. If he uses his good deck, you’re almost certainly going to fail. His deck only changes when you turn your PS2 off. If he uses his hard one, reset your PS2. Once he uses his easy one, keep your PS2 on until you earn this medal and the Powder Eater medal. Mine was on for 2 weeks straight, as I didn’t play every day :)

You also will lose if you don’t draw Gooba Queens right away, and none of your accelerents help you reach your Powder Eaters in time. But with such a ridiculously high goal, you have more time to recover from that contingency in this scenario, than in the one described in my Powder Eater medal blogpost.

So anyway, here is my book, which I affectionately titled “Goobanomicon”:

First, you have to get Gooba Queens down:

4 Gooba Queens – the meat; our goal – You can’t fill the board without a Gooba Queen. And you better put in the maximum of 4, so that 1 out of every 12.5 cards is one of these. That gives you a 48% chance of having one in your first 6 cards. You need these, preferably early, to fill the board up with Gooba. Then you have to get RID of the Gooba Queen(s), which can be interesting and difficult. You also have to get rid of any other creatures you put down.

1 Brass Idol – accelerant – This idol causes everyone to draw 2 cards per turn. I’d normally prefer Find, because it doesn’t benefit the opponent — but it’s expensive, and these stupid Gooba Queens require you to own TWO green lands before placing them. So in sticky situations, this can solve 2 problems: Getting a green land, and/or accelerating you through your deck.
4 Powder Eater – accelerant – We really really really don’t want to play Powder Eaters, beacuse our goal is to fill the board with Gooba, and every space taken up by a non-Gooba is something we must later address/kill. Still, this is a good card for getting the 2 green territories required to get the Gooba Queen. Even playing one of these will let you territory it to a 2nd one. If you draw Telegnosis, you may have your 2 before you’ve even completed a lap. If you draw Telegnosis twice in a lap, you could mulitply 1 powder eater to 2, and then use territory ability to replace a Gooba Queen you just drew as one of them. Even though we don’t want to play this card, it can make good things happen.
1 Wild Growth – accelerant – Turn a non-green green. Say you have Powder Eater or Brass Idol above, but green is taken up, or a long way off. Just play it wherever, and use this to turn it green. Or if you already have your green, use it to take away the land effect from a high-level enemy green territory. (It also breaks their chain.)
4 Telegnosis – accelerant / goal achieving / battle instigating – Say you have a Powder Eater on a green space, but you need 2 to use Gooba Queen…. This card can be very handy for allowing you to territory something you didn’t just walk over. It also allows us to fight battles with whoever we want near the end of the game (as they go back into the book, and end up being your remaining cards by round 45-50ish).

Of course, as you’re filling your board up with Goobas, you need to be constantly winning battles as well. But also ,you must purposely throw some Goobas to their death. Why? Because Gooba is not a real card you can draw. You can only make it with Gooba Queen. To fill the board with Gooba, you have to get rid of your Gooba Queen, and lay down a Gooba. How are you going to lay down a Gooba after you remove the last Gooba Queen? The only way is from your hand. And the only way to get it there is for it to die, and for you to use the Raise Dead card immediately afterwards.

3 Raise Dead – goal achiever – See previous paragraph

This can also help you get rid of your Gooba Queen:

2 Land Transfer – goal achiever – to abandon Gooba Queens and other territories, so that you can fill their spaces with the Goobas (for instance, ones in your hand after using Raise Dead.)

As mentioned above, you have to do all this while winning battles. Since we are trying NOT to lay down anything except Goobas, we need a way to kill things with Goobas. These cards help you win battles:

4 Earth Amulet – gives Gooba ST+10 and critical hit … If Ares is out, this effectively means that Ares + Earth Amulet gives Gooba a ST+45 boost. Which is formidable. Imagine you have support from both sides and are on the defensive. This gives you first attack too (I think), so now you’re first-attacking with ST=75. Total badass.
1 Ares – invasion offense – our wussy Goobas will get ST+20 to any attack. I think this makes them ST=30. Not good enough to win a battle in one try, but Gooba are somewhat expendable – especially since we WANT a few to die.
1 Reenforce – invasion defense – our wussy Goobas will get HP+10, becoming slightly more resilient. Might be cool to use more of these, but then it’s hard to purposely kill them. This card caused me to lose once because I couldn’t suicide my Goobas in battle easily because they were HP=50 at the time.
1 Rat Hunter – invasion offense item – pesky people too hard to kill? Turn them into a rat with this item, then they will be easy to kill.
2 Holy Grail – invasion defense item – don’t let them take your babies!
1 Gaseous Form – invasion defense item – don’t let them take your babies!
1 Rust – battle preparation spell – cast this before a battle and he will have no items to defend himself.

And these cards help you win battles without having to fight them — by attacking during the spell phase:

1 Telekenisis – push someone off a Level 5/valuable territory, then fill it with a Gooba before he comes back. Goligan wont even attack it if he’s using his crappy deck! He’ll land on it and pay you the Level 5 toll before fighting. This card really helps get the upper hand back if you are behind in G.

1 Acid Rain – offensive spell – 30HP damage to all defensive creatures – kill every idol on the board (unless the idol that halves damage is down) – very useful.
1 Ice Storm – offensive spell – 20HP damage to all fire creatures – It really helps to get Ares’s boost down. And fire gets hogged up. So kill them to make room for putting Ares on red! It’s just good anyway, since you can usually do 40-60HP of damage in one fell sweep
1 Banshee – offensive spell creature – Although he’s a creature you kind of don’t want to play, he can hurt everyone for 25%. Barely affects Gooba, but can weakened hard-to-kill creatures enough to take out some other way, or kill someone you almost defeated in battle. He’s also very useful to use after using Acid Rain or Ice Storm.
1 Banishing Ray – offensive spell – kill a neutral creature – like that annoying Decoy
1 Bistair – offensive spell – 10HP of damage for every fire you own – If you own all 4 fires, it’s real nice to take out a 40HP creature with a spell
1 Evil Blast – offensive spell – take out a 30HP creature with a spell
4 Magic Bolt – offensive spell – take out a 20HP creature with a spell – use 2 to kill a 40HP, or kill annoying idols with it
2 Senility – offensive spell – win unwinnable battles

If things get really tough, I included ONE creature to attack (not counting Banshee, who I have for territory ability, Ares, who I have for boost, or Powder Eater, who I have as an accelrant):

1 Decoy – offensive creature – If desparate times call for deseparate measures, I occasionally use decoy. But then I have to kill him later. He can be hard to kill. If Land Transfer is already used up, having decoy down can cause you to miss the goal. You can’t cast a Magic Bolt on yourself, unfortunately. (THAT cost me one game as well.)

Anyway, I had to try a LOT of times to get this medal. I started out with my Powder Eater Medal book, copied it, and slowly changed it until I got this book. I only ever played against Goligan when he used his easy deck. This one probably took me a good 10-20 tries. Going to 40,000 doesn’t take as long as you think. Going from 10K-40K takes about as long as 0K-10K. I kept accidentally winning. 40,000G is really crucial, even though it’s surprising. When you are finally kicking ass and getting the medal, the last 10,000G (30K-40K) really only take 10 minutes to gather. Level 5 tolls should be happening left and right at this point.

So there you go. That’s how I did it.

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^ Cheesy single-player cut scenes

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Mood: triumphant?
Music: Kreator – Europe After The Rain