movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] [Wikipedia page] There’s a sequel to Starship Troopers? 7 years later? Okay, I’ll bite. (Oh, the horror!)

PEOPLE: Who cares? This movie sucked. None of the original talent is here. Not the same director. Not the same actors. But Kelly Carlson did go on to star in at least 58 episodes of Nip/Tuck.

QUIRKS: Made in 26 days for 5% of the budget of Starship Troopers 1.

BAD STUFF: Sucked so bad. Crappy special effects. In Starship Troopers 1, they would show bug destruction via guns. In #2, they show the person shooting because that would be cheaper than animating a bug. Speaking of CGI — the bugs in this look more like puppets than anything.

The IMDB rating for movie #1 is 7.0, and for #2 it’s 3.5. That’s HALF! (It goes up to 4.6 for #3).
The Netflix rating for movie #1 is 3.4 stars, and for #2 it’s 2.1. (It goes back up to 3.1 stars for #3).

That should tell you something.

CONCLUSION: I’m usually rabid for sequels, occasionally even liking a sequel better than the original, but always happy to have more of a good idea. This movie is one of life’s big exceptions to that rule. This hurt almost as bad as watching The Crow 2 hurt compared to watching The Crow 1. This hurt. N.G. NOT GOOD. In fact, I’ve purged most of it from my mind, and don’t even remember it at the level of detail I should.

RECOMMENDATION: If you watch Nip/Tuck and want to see Kelly Carlson nude for a few seconds… Then you just might have found the sole redeeming quality of this movie.

No, it wasn’t actually THAT bad, but probably any Sci-Fi channel made-for-TV movie is going to be better than this! This sucked!

Just skip straight to Starship Troopers 3: Marauder. It was actually a great movie compared to this one.

In other words — avoid this movie unless you are a total completist like me, and are quite willing to be let down just to see every last minute of Starship Troopers footage. That’s really the only other reason.

Recruiting Sergeant: “Beautiful baby, Ma’am.”
Pvt. Lei Sahara: “Thank you, Sergeant.”
Recruiting Sergeant: “Trooper [the baby] likes me, huh?… Hurry up spud, we need fresh meat for the grinder.”
^^ This quote captures some of the satirical feel of Starship Troopers 1, while Starship Troopers 2 utterly failed to do this — even with this quote. It was tacked on at a scene in the end; a scene that tries to make us forget how bad this movie was, and bring us back to the feel of the original.

“The best actor in the movie…was the bug.”
“‘Would you like to know more?’ No. Never again.”
“I think this MOVIE is actually the bugs revenge on us !”
“This has bad acting, bad plot, bad effects, bad everything. The whores all did it for 50 bucks each.”
“I loved the first one so much this one is my most hated movie.”
“The directors [audiocommentary] comments are hillarious. the movie starts off with him saying that ‘It felt like a good idea at the time.'”
“This movie wasn’t half the movie of the first one! First, there was practically no action scenes. Second, there weren’t any daytime. Third, there were only arachnids. No tankers or brain bugs. Fourth, the guns seemed too weak. They looked like they were just blue flashlights. it sucks. the creators put a good ending in the movie to make the viewers go “man, what a good movie!” but that’s just the ending. The rest sucked.”
“Too high, it is one of two movies here I ever rated with 1/10.”

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Please DON’T rate this. That would mean you watched it. I saw that Jordan had it in his Netflix queue, and issued him a warning ;)

Music: NoFX – Truck Stop Blues