movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] A generic action movie in high definition? Okay… And oh, it’s based on a comic book? I did not find this out until after watching it, but now things make a bit more sense, as this has a superhero angle of sorts.

HAIKU: Wanted brings action;
Non-stop ridiculousness.
Crank is still better.

LIMERICK: There once was a movie named Wanted.
Whose level of action was quite vaunted.
Inspired by Crank
That’s who they should thank.
Overly-serious viewers may be daunted.

PEOPLE: Angelina Jolie. And I daresay she looks hotter in this movie than in 90% of movies she’s in, due to her hair style and such. Tho going from “super frickin’ hot” to “super frickin’ hot plus better hair” isn’t much of a difference when you’re talking about Angelina Jolie. And we also have Morgan Freeman in a prominent role. And The Russian director? This is his first American film. The main character is played by James McAvoy, someone unknown to us. He reminds me of Toby MacGuire from Wonder Boys or something. He is a VERY UNLIKELY superhero, which is why he was well-casted for this movie.

QUIRKS: Based on a comic book. This movie… was also a broadway musical?!?! WTF?!?!?! And of course, 2 sequels are in the works already.

The main quirk is that he has a superhero power of sorts. It’s not easily describable other than “killing really good”. He can shoot the wings off of a fly.

The beginning of the movie, where he is just a normal person, is quite awesome in that they do a really good job(with voiceovers–something people seem to be against? but they are good for rapid characterization!) establishing just what a weasily neurotic loser the main character is. And they had to do this fast, because the movie ended up being 2 hours… And the egronomic keyboard used as a weapon is the greatest thing ever. (In a keyboard fight, one with an ergonomic keyboard would totally kick the ass of one with a non-ergonomic keyboard — not that that’s what happened in the movie.)

BAD STUFF: Completely unrealistic fight scenes. At least The Matrix used the excuse of… A matrix / false reality. But the unrealistic fights that go on here happen in OUR reality. Smashing a guy in the face with a keyboard, only to have bloody keys spelling out “FUCK YOU” flying at the camera (one of the AWESOME scenes in this movie) is actually more realistic than some of fighting scenes. These guys, somehow, caused bullets to bend around things. This was never explained in detail, although apparently these may be special bullets. A lot of stuff is never explained.

And the movie itself doesn’t really come to a SUPER-satisfying conclusion. Of course there is your usual triumph over adversity, but I think perhaps they didn’t want to close things out as much as they could because they were expecting a sequel. It reminds me of what happened with The Golden Compass

The movie is also somewhat reminiscent of Mr. And Mrs. Smith, “except it wasn’t a piece of crap”, adds Carolyn. (Out of the last 300 movies we’ve watched, Mr. & Mrs. Smith is in the top 5 for us disagreeing. I loved it, she hated it.) But anyway — assassin guilds. Ruthless. In both movies.

CONCLUSION: 3 stars / 6 on IMDB. These ratings “feel low”, though. That is my “generic pass” rating, and this was a bit more than generic. I’m tempted to give it a 7 on IMDB.

As an action movie, this one definitely delivers some GREAT action. And since they make it plainly clear that they’re not aiming for realism here — the action is indeed a bit more unique than your average action movie. I look forward to the other 2 movies; maybe the franchise will grow on me.

RECOMMENDATION: Action lovers? See this. Angelina Jolie lovers? See this. If you’re not in control of your life, and you feel insignificant? You may just identify with the main character and REALLY like things.

MOVIE QUOTE: [first lines] Wesley: [voice-over] It’s my anorexic boss’ birthday. This means there’s a certain amount of inter-office pressure to stand around the conference table, eating crappy food and pretending to worship her. Acting for five minutes like Janice doesn’t make all our lives miserable is the hardest work I’ll do all day. My job title is account manager. I used to be called an account service representative, but a consultant told us we have to manage our clients, and to not service them. I have a girlfriend who I neither manage or service. That’s my best friend Barry fucking her on an Ikea kitchen table I picked up for a really good price. I’m finding it hard to care about anything these days. In fact, the only thing I do care about is the fact that I can’t care about anything. Seriously, it worries me. My name is Wesley Gibson. My dad walked out on my mom when I was seven days old. Sometimes I wonder if he ever looked into my baby blue eyes and asked himself “did I just father the most insignificant asshole of the twenty-first century”?

COINCIDENCES: Much like Hancock, this movie dealt with a “real life” super-hero in *our* universe. And the hero was quite unlikely. Though this time, he was a spineless loser instead of a drunk asshole. But both movies coincidentally hinge on the premise of an unlikely hero transforming into a real hero. Plus, we watched both movies in 720p :)

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: A few of queued it, but nobody has rated it yet.

Mood: anticipation
Music: Ween – Sweet Texas Fire (Piss Up A Rope b-side)