I'd rather be watching TV![Not listed in IMDB] [Not available from Netflix] A PFFR film by Alyson Levy.

PEOPLE: This is a PFFR production. You might remember PFFR from their groundbreaking shows Wonder Showzen, Xavier:Renegade Angel, or Delocated. Or possibly from their albums, such as United We Doth. They are a musical band that branched into television comedy.

Or maybe you just don’t know that you’ve been influenced by PFFR members — one of them, Vernon Chapman, is the voice of Towelie in South Park, and is listed as a producer in later episodes of South Park. He also wrote for The Chris Rock show, Conan O’Brien, That’s My Bush!, and Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. Check out PFFR’s website — crazy.

QUIRKS: This is a documentary, but also sort of a mockumentary. A lot of the interviews with Christian puppeteers appear to be real — you really can’t make shit like this up, even if you try. But it is interspersed with clips of someone (probably Vernon Chapmon?) making fun of the Christian puppeteers by acting like one. So parts of this documentary are actually mocking other parts. I’ll christen it a docu-mocku-mentary.

VISUALS: Creepy looking Christians in all weird shapes and sizes. None of these people really look normal.

MORALS: These people think they have morals by helping to convert children to Christianity via puppetry. Some of them actually believe they were not able to perform ventriloquism until they were touched by god and given the power to be a ventriloquist.

CONCLUSION: This was pretty damn funny — but insanely scary as well. In fact, I started to freak out while watching it. My pulse quickened, I started to break out in a sweat, breathing rapidly, and filling with adrenaline. Watching horror movies doesn’t do that to me. Watching actual people actually die in real life [on my tv] doesn’t do that to me. Faces Of Death doesn’t do that to me. Saw doesn’t even do that to me — it just makes me squirm for a bit.

But this shit? Fucking terrifying that there are people so deluded and devoted by fictitious sky fairies. I almost had to look away. The old guy just had a creepy-shaped face. I could barely take it.

RECOMMENDATION: If you can find this, it’s quite the gem to watch. Think: Jesus Camp, but less militant. And with a Wonder Showzen-style puppet making fun of the other puppets.


If you’re lucky, you can find this on bittorrent. Especially on the tracker that rhymes with the name of a human organ. PFFR is brilliant, and everything they do must be experienced.

Mood: moodlessness
Music: The Church – Tranquility