movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] From the director of Eight Legged Freaks comes a direct-to-video sequel that only got a 3.9 on IMDB and has none of the original cast or plot. Wow.

HAIKU REVIEW: Sequels sometimes rule.
Other times, they don’t really.
This is one of those.

PEOPLE: The great cast of the original (Seth Green, Matthew Lillard, Dax Shepard) is thrown out, with the movie now starring a bunch of nobodies / TV actors.

QUIRKS: This isn’t really a sequel, it’s more of a franchise. This shouldn’t be called “Without A Paddle 2 – Nature’s Calling”, it should be called “Without A Paddle presents: Nature’s Calling”. This movie has NOTHING to do with the original. NOTHING WHATSOEVER. Yes, the characters have to run away from an animal — [highlight for spoilers] dumb CGI squirrels instead of a bear. Yes, they meet up with hippie chicks in the woods, just like in the original. Yes, they are being chased through the woods, just like in the original. But that’s about it.

VISUALS: Well, there are 2 really hot girls… Amber McDonald, who was in 1 ep of Smallville, reminds me of a younger Mary Louise-Parker. And Madison Riley, who has voiced one of the Bratz in a direct-to-video animated Bratz movie. They’re nobodies — but hot nobodies. And that’s really the extent of the visuals in this sotry.

MORALS: The first Without A Paddle had some definite moral conclusions about friendship and life being more important than money. This movie had nothing that could be remotely construed as a deeper meaning.

BAD STUFF: As already mentioned, this is just about the least “sequelly” sequel ever. A few plot points are re-used, but otherwise — it’s just a caper in the woods. And not a great one at that.

CONCLUSION: Generic “low” pass — 3/5 stars on Netflix, but only 5/10 on IMDB. This was pretty damn generic, and also disappointing compared to the original. It was a pale, pale echo. However, we laughed and were interested and were entertained, so it wasn’t a total FAIL.

RECOMMENDATION: Even if you liked the first one — this can easily be skipped.

Mood: eating
Music: NoFX – Antennaes (by Rancid)