Sunday, November 1st, 2009


(I also had to serve detention in 10th grade for walking into Spanish class while chewing gum, despite the fact that gum was allowed in other classes.)

So yes… At Rippon Middle School, around 8th grade or so, we had an absolutely horrible chorus teacher called Mr. Council (IIRC). I took chorus because I didn’t want to burden my parents with having to rent or own an expensive instrument, like my sister’s cello that eventually collected dust. I got a guitar from my parents a few years later as a birthday present, anyway — though I prefer my Dad’s 1960s guitar, as it holds its tune better.

Yes, I have trouble staying on topic. Anyway, there was a fellow by the name of Perry Roberts. He was a miscreant, IIRC. I didn’t really care for him much, other than the fact that he was the only person who could almost burp as loudly and as rapidly as I could. He was in my gym class AND in my chorus class, so I saw more of him than was really needed.

Now, I did not take chorus class seriously at all. Much like gym, I knew it was something that was not really going to affect my future survivability. Singing “The Dawning Of The Age Of Aquarius” and “Home On The Range” was not going to outfit me with any skills I would use later in my life. So I tended to sit in the back-right, where I could goof off without facing the wrath of Mr. Council — who had supposedly sent a girl to detention for sneezing before, and also seemed kind of gay at the time (but who knows).

So one day, we’re singing “Home On The Range”, and I’m working some belches in the silence between the lines. I also liked to crack my voice the way the old cartoon characters did when they sung that song during old Looney Tunes and such. So I let out a good burp in between lines, and Perry Roberts tattles on me!

“Mr. Council! Clint burped!”

The glass erupted into laughter. At least, that’s how I want to rememeber it.

I had to serve a detention for burping. But Perry? Given his record, he had to serve *THREE* detentions simply for TELLING on me.

Totally unfair, but it made for a great story. Apparently it’s okay to disrupt the class, as long as Mr. Council’s pride isn’t hurt by actually *HEARING* about it. Apparently telling on someone is worse than doing something worth telling on.

Ahh, the logic of authority.

Image by BoogerBrain @ flickr

p.s. HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2009!!!  Dethklok is playing at The Patriot Center, and Voltaire is playing at Spellbound. Hopefully we can make it both. (Update: No we didn’t! But we did go to a kick-ass party afterward.)

(more…)