movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

LIMERICK REVIEW: There once was a hero named Superman.
They’re still trying to make as many “Super”-movies as they can.
This one was the blandest–
Tho we still managed to stand it.
It’s only really worth watching if you’re a big fan.

HAIKU REVIEW: Superman franchise:
So many incarnations…
This one was the worst!

PEOPLE: Helen Slater, who went on to play Lara-El in Smallville, as well as tons of guest spots in TV shows, and 10+ crappy 90s movies (only 3 movies in the 2000s). She never did return to being a brunette after that. Faye Dunaway as the annoying “evil witch full of herself” character, and Brenda Vaccaro (Midnight Cowboy) as her lackey/henchwoman. Peter O’Toole and Mia Farrow are in this as well. Marc McClure plays Jimmy Olsen, as he did in the other 4 1980s Superman movies. Peter Cook.

QUIRKS: Bad 1980s special effects. The Phantom Zone. Witchcraft (!!!). Kryptonians who survived Krypton blowing up. Schoolgirls (why?). Monster tractors destroying a town (but not nearly as bad as in The Terminator 3). Lucy Lane instead of Lois Lane.

VISUALS: Really not that good at all. The first 2 Star Trek movies had far better visuals than this movie, and they came out sooner!

BAD STUFF: The movie was kind of slow. Granted we watched the Director’s Cut, but still… The dialog was kind of stilted, the acting very “generic 80s”, and all-in-all this is probably the worst “super” endeavor we’ve ever seen.

CONCLUSION: 3/5 stars on Netflix, 5/10 on IMDB. It was still moderately enjoyable to see Kara/Supergirl in another incarnation, as Carolyn & I are Superman fanboys (me, moreso). But overall the movie is not that great, and kind of long (director’s cut adds 21 minutes, but removes some scenes as well). It only scrapes by with a 5 on IMDB — barely — and a 3 on Netflix — barely — because it’s so “super” (thanks for asking).

RECOMMENDATION: See this only if your intention is to see everything Superman-related, especially from the “Christopher Reeve Era” of the Superman mythos. Reeve was gonna be in it, but bowed out at the last minute, as did Demi Moore (who was going to play Lucy Lane). This could have been better…but it wasn’t.

Mood: digesting delicious Carolyn cooking
Music: Kreator – Lambs To Slaughter