Thursday, December 24th, 2009


Now, I command you to be touched, with The Cat Carol, performed by my favorite anti-man-who-then-became-a-man vocal performer Meryn Cadell, and written by Bruce Evans:

Are you crying yet? Don’t say I didn’t warn you. (That warning was also issued on Twitter and Facebook.)

If you liked that, buy it at CatCarol.com. I did. For real.
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 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] This is an action/conspiracy movie that starts off as more of a comedy, and gradually becomes more serious. It’s NOT a comedy, but Mel Gibson is hilarious nonetheless.

LIMERICK REVIEW: Conspiracy theories are abound.
Some people don’t like how they sound.
But sometimes they’re true–
Hopefully it doesn’t happen to you,
Or you may be buried under a mound.

HAIKU REVIEW: Get your tinfoil hat!
The government’s after you.
This is serious.

PEOPLE: Mel Gibson plays a person with mental problems who is into conspiracy theories. He publishes a newsletter called “Conspiracy Theory” — that has only five recipients. Is that really that far off from real life? He even improvised some of the scenes where he rants to his cab passengers. Julia Roberts plays a Department Of Justice employee. Patrick Stewart (aka Picard from Star Trek:TNG) plays the villain.

QUIRKS: Paranoia. I now see the appeal of balancing a bottle on your doorknob — if someone tries to turn it to get in, the bottle falls. This is perhaps the cheapest alarm system in existence, and I’m surprised I haven’t heard of this.

However, keeping your food combination locked inside your refrigerator is definitely going a bit too far.

VISUALS: No real special effects; visually this movie is quite generic.

MORALS: Conspiracy theories aren’t always crazy. Sometimes they’re true. When people pull off something that defies common logic, logical people absolutely will not believe it without evidence. While I am against faith in a higher being, faith in things that happen in the actual world is not quite as utterly useless as faith in a fictitious sky fairy. Merry fucking Christmas.

POLITICS: The CIA *did* do mind control experiments. And you can bet if there was any fallout from it — that it wasn’t made public. In that sense, a story like this can enter into the realm of actual possibility.

BAD STUFF: It’s a bit generic in the action sense — but the conspiracy angle keeps it more fresh than it would be otherwise.

CONCLUSION: 7/10 on IMDB, 3/5 stars on Netflix. This was better than your “generic pass” movie, because Mel Gibson did a really good job playing a semi-crazy. Conspiracies were visited — and conspiracies were true. It could happen. It’s not likely, but it could happen. And nobody would believe you.

RECOMMENDATION: Fans of Patrick Stewart, conspiracy theories, Julia Roberts, or Mel Gibson might want to check this out. It’s refreshing to see Picard as a vaillain without the Borg being involved.

SIMILAR MOVIES: Enemy Of The State is slightly like this, but without the comedy.

MOVIE QUOTE: Jerry Fletcher: “To be normal, to drink Coca-Cola and eat Kentucky Fried Chicken is to be in a conspiracy against yourself.”

Also: Jerry Fletcher: “Love gives you wings. It makes you fly. I don’t even call it love. I call it Geronimo. When you’re in love, you’ll jump right from the top of the Empire State and you won’t care, screaming “Geronimo” the whole way down. I love her so bad, I just… whoa, she wrecks me. I’d die for her.”

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Benj didn’t like it. Becky hated it. (more…)