movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] Watched in 720p HD. Why does this only get a 5.6 on IMDB?

LIMERICK REVIEW: There once was a world above water
Where living was quite a bother
With fresh water hard to find
Most people were very unkind
And tried to keep from being the Smokers’ fodder.
-by Carolyn, with edits from Clint

HAIKU REVIEW: A world of water.
Little girl and her keeper.
You are a mutie!
-by Carolyn

PEOPLE: Kevin Costner == good guy. Dennis Hopper == bad guy. Jeanne Tripplehorn (Basic Instinct, Timecode) == leading lady. Tina Majorino (Napoleon Dynamite, Veronica Mars) == little girl. Hmm — Joss Whedon helped fix the script at the last minute. He described it as “nine weeks of hell”.

QUIRKS: Pretty much a typical fantasy action movie with a predictable plot. Prior to Titanic, this was the most expensive movie ever produced.

VISUALS: Incredible visuals. Highly stylized to meet the water world everyone lives on. As rich of a fantasy world as can be created in the desolate postapocalyptic situation of there being no dry land on earth, and humanity being a dying race. Most visuals are, obviously, related to watercraft such as ships and jet-skis and oil tankers and such. Of course there’d be neater effects if this was about a successful water-based society, but that’s not what this movie was about. It was about humanity barely being able to cling on without any dry land, pure water, or dirt to grow plants in.

BAD STUFF: Yet another fantasy where a chosen child is important, and thus we have to listen to some little girl whine constantly, as well as suffer her bonding with other characters. I often view the “chosen child” trope as a way of trying to hook into the small child demographic as well.

Also, the main bad guy, “The Deacon”, is a bit cartoony in his behavior at points. He makes the movie lose some realism. But Dennis Hopper is great, so it’s worth it!

CONCLUSION: 4/5 Netflix stars, 7.5/10 on IMDB. This was a solid fantasy action movie that had few dull points, despite being 2 hours and 15 minutes long. There were water-based battles and vehicular situations the likes of which I’ve never seen in any movie ever — such as a boat harpooning a small aircraft. While the story is fairly generic, the execution of it was done quite well.

We will be going back and watching the extra 40 minutes only found in the Director’s Cut to see if those are interesting too.

RECOMMENDATION: If you like stylized fantasy adventures, or sailing, or want to see how biker gangs would behave if they had no bikes or roads to bike on … See this! I’ve been meaning to watch it for many years, but was glad to hold out for a high-definition copy. Great battles and action!

SIMILAR MOVIES: Mad Max, while not being as good of a movie (it’s really kind of awful, yet epic), is to the desert as this movie is to water. Actually, this movie has a lot of similarities to Mad Max 2, specifically.

MOVIE QUOTE: Mariner: “Two drifters meet. Something needs to be exchanged.”
Drifter: “I know the code. But I’ll give this one to you for free.”
Mariner: “Nothing’s free in Waterworld.”

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Jordan & Christian loved it. In fact, the only 2 friend ratings on my Netflix are their 5-star ratings.

Mood: hungry
Music: Testament – Over The Wall