Sunday, February 7th, 2010

It’s not my first, but it’s my funniest.

First off, Freezepop‘s “title song” — which they don’t perform live anymore [they told me when I requested it at a show] — introduces all the members of the band. One of them is The Duke Of Candied Apples, though he has since changed his name to the Duke Of Pannekoeken. The lyric in the song goes like so:

“The Duke Of Candied Apples is my name
making blippy beats that will put yours to shame
email me,
1.7 gigs of spam is what you’ll get.”

So finally, after years of listening to this, and after emailing Liz Enthusiasm to tell her they should cover Men Without Hats Pop Goes The World, I figured, “I’m already emailing them. Let’s go for the 1.7 gigs of spam!”

So I emailed

“From: __Clint__
Date: Wed, Jan 27, 2010 at 1:59 PM
Subject: i want my 1.7 gigs of spam

and i want it now

less rokk, moar spamm


[Un?]surprisingly, I got a response 11 days later!

“From: the duke of pannekoeken
Date: Sat, Feb 6, 2010 at 2:19 PM

hahaha! yeah, about that. um… hm.. i dont really do that any more : )

how about enjoying this nice picture of spam?

So yeah. I got my spam. It may not be 1.7 gigs, but I feel vindicated.

And here’s the actual song:


I'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] What? There’s a 3? Actually, not yet. I appear to have been tricked into buying a fake Jackass 3. The real movie is not yet out. This is a fake. This was mostly rehashed clips from the show or from Still — we watched it, as we have not seen every episode of the series.

PEOPLE: The standard Jackass crew.

QUIRKS: Jackassery. Bad ideas that result in injury or gagging — all implemented with real people.

VISUALS: Some of the most disturbing ever. The most disgusting part was when [highlight for spoilers] one of the guys ate all the ingredients of an omelette raw. Then puked it up right away. Then cooked it. Then ate that. It’s very rare that something can make me gag so much tears are streaming down my face; It usually takes Saw / Hostel -level violence to even get me to squirm.

MORALS: Do ANYTHING if a camera is on you, and it might be funny. ANNNNYYYTHHHIIIIINNNGG!

BAD STUFF: Too bad this was a fake!

CONCLUSION: I wrote one.. but I ated it. And puked it up and ate it again. (Seriously though, I had written one, but at the time of posting, only the word “anyway” appeared here. Don’t know what happened. But we loved the movie, of course!)

RATINGS: I can’t actually rate this because it’s a fake, but I would give it 5/5 Netflix stars and 9/10 on IMDB for being extremely entertaining and funny.

One skit, where they re-enacted a subway safety sign — wasn’t injurious or gross. Sometimes they do that. This one was SO DAMN FUNNY that we had to stop the movie and laugh for a good 2 minutes before we could start it up again.

RECOMMENDATION: Wait for the real Jackass 3. But if you get an opportunity to get the fake Jackass 3 — do so. Just don’t pay money for it, as it probably doesn’t go to the creators

SIMILAR MOVIES: Jackass 1, Jackass 2, Jackass 2.5, and probably the real Jackass 3 when it comes out :) (more…)