Monday, February 22nd, 2010


 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] A sequel that’s a prequel.

PEOPLE: From the director of Underworld, I Am Legend, Silent Hill, Pitch Black, Independence Day…. And Super Mario Bros (The Movie)??? Patrick Tatopoulos sure puts out a lot of movies.
Starring Rhona Mitra (Beowulf, Sweet Home Alabama), who I just kind of assumed was Kate Beckinsdale, which was pretty stupid considering they don’t look like each other side by side. They’re both really hot, though. Except Rhona can’t pull off short hair at all. Also starring Michael Sheen as Lucian, Bill Nighy (aka Davy Jones from Pirates Of The Carribean, also in Hot Fuzz, The Constant Gardener, Shaun Of The Dead) as the incredibly evil Viktor.

QUIRKS: Vampires. Werewolves. Lycans. Castles. Slaves. Fights. Yup, it’s definitely another Underworld movie! With NO modern world at all, since it takes place in the past.

VISUALS: Excellent fights, though it is apparent that most of what is going on is CGI. Still, without CGI, what would we have? Puppets?

MORALS: Monarchs often care about loyalty more than love or true morality. Central authorities SUCK.

BAD STUFF: It’s a bit generic. And the c’oup de grace at the end? Should have been more. But obviously, given the “next” two movies… It had to be this way.

CONCLUSION: Rated this 4/5 stars on Netflix — though truly, it’s more like 3.5 stars. Rated 7/10 on IMDB. The crisp CGI visuals give us savage werewolf fights the likes of which aren’t usually seen on most movies, making it a cut above generic. But the movie isn’t really that deep. It’s basically a forbidden love/Romeo & Juliette movie with werewolves and vampires.

RECOMMENDATION: If you watched the first two Underworld movies, this is worth seeing. If you haven’t seen the first two — you should probably actually watch this first. This is more of a typical fantasy movie, because it does not take place in the modern world.

MOVIE QUOTE: Viktor: “I gave you life.”
Lucian: “You gave me chains.”
Viktor: “I thought you would have learnt by now; you cannot have one without the other.”

WILHELM SCREAM: There was one, but I didn’t notice it.

COINCIDENCES: Not really a real coincidence, because we knew it was a werewolf movie going in, buuut: Conan The Barbarian and this movie both had Werewolves. [NOT adding this to my master coincidence file.]

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: (more…)