A tumblr blog of pictures that are fake science. File under surreal comedy.
June 30, 2010
June 29, 2010
CLEVELAND, Ohio: The Church of the SubGenius has announced that the end of the world will take place in precisely seven days, on Monday, July 5, 2010. In preparation for the fulfillment of this doomsday prophecy, the Church has issued a call to all of its members, to participate in a festival with rock concerts and blasphemous rituals taking place in upstate New York, during the final weekend before the arrival of the apocalypse.
The Church’s popularity has grown in recent years, much to the alarm of authorities. In 2010 the Church of the SubGenius arrived on Facebook, offending peace-loving conservatives but gathering over 1,500 members on its Facebook page in only a few days’ time.
The Church of the SubGenius is a popular organization often seen as a “parody” of religious cults, including Scientology, the Raelians, the Unification Church, and racist hate groups such as Christian Identity. The organization is widely seen as a satire that mocks organized religion, or as the church describes itself, “a cynisacreligion.”
Since its inception in 1953, Church founder J.R. “Bob” Dobbs has predicted that a fleet of flying saucers will arrive at the beginning of July to destroy the worldwide Conspiracy against the Church of the SubGenius, while all ordained SubGenius ministers will be rescued by escape vessels piloted by the Alien Sex Goddesses, also known as the Xists.
The Church is inviting all of its members worldwide to gather together for the final hours in Sherman, New York from Wednesday, June 30, 2010 to Monday, July 5, at a clothing-optional outdoor campground called Brushwood Folklore Center. The first gathering at this compound took place in 1996, and the event has increased in size and participants each following year. 1998 was designated the first true “X-Day,” and each successive year has added one to the total. This year’s celebration in 2010 is X-Day 13, or X-Day XIII.
The Church has been engaged in a massive recruitment campaign to increase the numbers of its membership before the arrival of the Xists. According to Church records, the organization currently has approximately 100,000 members worldwide. SubGenius recruitment has been especially dedicated among the ranks of people who refuse to conform to the norms of society, including disbelievers, blasphemers, pranksters, rebels, hackers, pornographers, geeks, and outcasts.
The Church is seeking underground bands, indie rockers, performance artists, and performers and producers from the adult entertainment industry, because sexual freedom has been an important part of Church doctrine from the start. X-Day will be a celebration of free expression, performance art, rock and roll, pornography, and adult entertainment; and certain parts of the event will be restricted to adults only. Only ordained ministers of the Church of the SubGenius are allowed at the event, but the Church is accepting memberships at its standard rate of $30 up until the final hours of July 4.
The Church of the SubGenius has been no stranger to controversy since its foundation, and the upcoming X-Day celebration promises to be no different. In the late 1980s, members of the Church were accused of spreading a virus in Macintosh computers known as the “Peace Virus.” Numerous articles have been written on the Church in such noteworthy publications as the New York Times, Washington Post, Wired Online, Boston Globe, U.S. News and World Report; and broadcast reports have been produced by CNN and NPR. In April 1999, officials of the city of Cambridge, Massachusetts shut down an official SubGenius Devival gathering in the belief that the Church was affiliated with the Trenchcoat Mafia (the organization blamed for the Columbine high school shootings), though authorities later realized the association was mistaken. In its January 1, 2000 issue, a Time magazine poll declared J.R. “Bob” Dobbs the biggest fraud of the 20th century.
The Church received additional media attention in 2006 when one of its high-ranking members, known in SubGenius circles as Reverend Mary Magdalen, became involved in a legal battle for custody of her son due to her membership in the Church. This case has been covered in such popular online sites as Boing Boing, Fark, and Wikinews (Wikipedia’s news reporting service).
When the mysterious group “ANONYMOUS” delcared war against the Church of Scientology in 2008, the Church of the SubGenius responded with a declaration of solidarity with the hackers on steroids…and an invitation to the legions of ANONYMOUS to join the Church in New York to prepare for X-Day.
The official home page of the Church of the SubGenius can be found at:
Official Facebook page for the Church of the SubGenius:
X-Day XIII Facebook Page:
Reverend Mary Magdalen’s custody case:
Photographers, entertainers, production companies, radio broadcasters, and all media producers are encouraged to contact the Church at its Cleveland, Ohio headquarters at 1-216-320-9528.
June 29, 2010
Very interesting. Sanctions are historically considered an act of war? And the Obama Administration is basically carrying on the exact legacy of the Bush Administration:
Pre-emptively battle sovereign nations for their oil, over an unprovable pretext, using fear and the need for security to drive acceptance.
Except this time, it happened under the Democrats' watch. Same shit, different party. Same shit, different president.
Not that I'd vote for him, but kudos to Ron Paul for being one of 8 people in Congress and the House Of Representatives to actually vote correctly on this issue. Iran's never going to nuke us, ever. This is not actually about America, or saving Americans' lives.
Special thanks to SubGenius Reverend Leonard The Committed for pointing out that the "211 movement" exists.
For a long time I've been saying there should be an "811", a "soft 911" for people who want responders OTHER than aggressive police with guns and tasers who will shoot your own family member.
Apparently, 211 is basically my 811 idea, but with a 2 instead of an 8. A way to connect to services you may need in a pinch WITHOUT having to go through the police and their violent and often brutal tactics.
Good stuff. Let's hope this takes off.
Will intellectual property laws squelch open mic from our culture?
Will we destroy art in order to save it?
Ahh, ASCAP. The ones who sued the boy scouts for singing around the campfires. The ones who made it so restaurants can't sing us "Happy Birthday", even though the artists that are being "protected" have been dead for half a century.
ASCAP actually told one guy that if people use guitars in his cafe, they owe him money. Wow.
Yup. We're not gonna win in Afghanistan. This has gone on longer than Vietnam.
Yes! States cannot override the constitutions protection of our right to use gun technology to defend our lives; the most basic right of all, more important than freedom of speech or religion. Those freedoms are useless if you were killed and unable to defend yourself thanks to government restrictions. This keeps the playing field between criminals and homeowners level.
It's official: The 2nd amendment is an individual right, not one related to military service. People have been trying to retroactively change the meaning for a long, long time. No more. The highest court in the land has ruled on the subject.
(In this case, screw Breyer.)
Obama's trying to appoint someone who thinks our country hasn't done enough to stop porn. Remember when Bush had the FBI redirected to fight porn, and everyone whined? If you want to be consistent, then you need to whine now too. Obama's doing the same shit Bush did, just in more subtle ways so everyone continues to think he's the fucking messiah. He's not.
Hate speech regulation is also bullshit. That's how Scientology squelches criticism. That's how Islam squelches criticism. In countries with hate speech laws on the books, free speech no longer exists — unless you want to go to court to prove your speech isn't hate speech. Good luck being able to express your opinion. Of course, hate speech legislation is something one dimensional liberals LOVE.
Me? I side on the side of freedom. It's not hard. You can too.
June 28, 2010
ASCAP protect artists? Hah. Love the spin they had to put on what they said after the backlash. Stupid corporate dinosaurs will die; we don't need companies to get our music to each other anymore. We can make money via our own arrangements, thank you.
June 26, 2010
What do you think happened next?
They arrested him, tased her, hospitalized her, and put her in a mental ward to cover their asses.
Why did they taser her? She told them to leave, of course. THERE WERE TEN OFFICERS THERE. They tased a bedridden 86-year-old grandma for "a more aggressive posture in her bed".
The only officers named are Thomas Duran, Frank Tinga, Joseph Sandberg. Whoever was involved with this should be criminally prosecuted,imprisoned, and prevented from ever working in a position where they have physical authority over another human being ever again.
You guys are scum, the lowest form of cowards ever, using our taxpayer money meant to serve and protect the public to assault the elderly instead. You will lose your lawsuit, and the other 7 John Doe names must be released o the public.
Cowardly pigs belong in a slaughterhouse.
June 26, 2010
PEOPLE: Written & directed by the Wachowski brothers — who brought us The Matrix, V For Vendetta, and Bound. Starring Emile Hirsch (Milk, The Girl Next Door), Christina Ricci (not looking as hot as in most of her movies), John Goodman, Susan Sarandon, Roger Allam (V For Vendetta, and the Inkheart narrator), Scott Porter, Matthew Fox.
QUIRKS: Based on a cartoon. And LONG. 2 hours, 15 minutes. Long movies rule — when they’re good.
VISUALS: Absolutely incredible visuals. I didn’t realize this was from the creators of The Matrix. Most of the movie is CG. Think: Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow, but better. The car races are the most amazing things I’ve ever seen “cars” do (even if it’s really CG). The CG also helped keep the cartoon feel. The crazy outfits, sets, and visuals really made this a live-action cartoon adaptation that retains all of the original cartooniness. Usually, if a cartoon is converted to live-action, the cartooniness is sucked out of it. NOT here. Absolutely amazing visuals.
CONCLUSION: I never really cared for the cartoon that much, but the movie was absolutely amazing. Some of the most frenetic action scenes that I’ve seen in awhile. EXTREMELY stylized movies always get me off really good. Truly amazing. Some people might not like how long it is — but when something is really good, you don’t want it to end. I could have watched 4 hours of this! We both loved it. I never knew a cartoon could be adapted into live-action so successfully.
RECOMMENDATION: Like visuals, action, special effects, and unique style? Watch this — even if you hated the cartoon.
MOVIE QUOTE: Speed: “Haven’t any of these drivers read the rule book?”
June 25, 2010
So I decided to upgrade our 7.1 Home Theatre rear surround speakers…. From crappy black noname ones I got at a yardsale, to these better silver JVC ones with a bass port and everything, which I got off of Freecycle.
First, in order to hang them, I have to use a ruler and mark off where I want to add my hooks. Then I nail a thumbtack into the holes [my way of drilling pilot holes] and remove them. Then I screw in picture hanging hooks. I use 4 per speaker, for redundancy, after a speaker fell back when I use 2. A total of 8. Except I started with a different set, and ended up using 12. (Did a blind listening test with Carolyn — literally wearing a blindfold — which confirmed the results of my own listening test, that the silver speakers were better and I should have been using them. I didn’t realize they were wood-cased, I thought they were plastic and thus would not accept hooks.)
Anyway, screwing those 12 hooks in last night gave me a huge blister on my right hand! From screwing those tiny screws in! 1.0cm long, 0.5cm wide, and 0.4cm raised from my skin. I broke my tradition of popping all blisters and let it fester there in pussy healiness, since the body obviously does that for a reason.
The next step is to use picture hanging wire to create a wire hook to hang it to a ceiling hook that I have on my ceiling. Wire it through the hooks in a redundant fashion, then make a loop to hang.
Problem is, we ran out of picture hanging wire for the first time in 10 yrs after I did one speaker. I asked Carolyn to scrounge for more, and she brought up some REAL wire, i.e. stuff thick enough that you could use it in a soldernig iron. NOT woven picture hanging wire, but a single wire well over 1mm thick. A bit harder to bend.
Today, I went to cut that wire with scissors. No go. Way too thick. So I opted to use the “two handed dangerous scissor cut method”, which I have used many times in my life before, with larger and more dangerous scissors than the plastic-handled ones of Carolyn I was using.
I put my hand on both sides of the scissor and squeezed as hard as I could on both ends. BAM! I got that wire chopped!
And a great deal of my hand too. I screamed in pain. I looked at my hand, and saw an injury that was not so minor as to automatically exlude the possibility of going to the emergency room. It was actually a bit of horror movie psychology that I got to experience myself: Looking at a wound in horror, making noises that come from the animal kingdom (not humanity), feeling the adrenaline rush, and not knowing what to do for 2 or 3 seconds. (I don’t really panic, so losing presence of mind for 2 or 3 seconds is a significant psychological event for me.)
Of course I went for the camera right away [after 2 or 3 paper towels]:
Here’s the blood that landed on the floor between me sitting down and taking a picture 10 seconds later:
Much more on the floor before I managed to wipe it up. And it was stainy, leaving some red on the floor. I ended up spitting on it, as spit breaks down tough stains with its digestive properties, and carries its own disinfectant as well (why we lick wounds), but, most importantly, can be dispensed without leaving a trail of blood between you and actual cleaning products. Because waiting another 30 seconds would let the stain set more, plus I don’t want to get blood on any carpet. Later I used some water, I think I’ll have Carolyn use some Murphy’s Oil Soap on the floor later to give it a proper cleaning.
I went to the bathroom and realized a bandaid was not going to cut it. Hell, just while rinsing it with water, the blood would NOT stop. I needed some pressure.
Having no clue where we keep the gauze, since I hadn’t used it in quite awhile, I knew I needed something gauze-like to use. Not a towel or washcloth, they are too expensive to get blood all over. Not a shirt; same deal. What’s cheap? What’s cheap, cotton, and guaranteed to be clean? UNDERWEAR which just came out of the laundry. I’ll look for a pair with holes in it that I would probably be throwing away anyway.
So here I am with underwear wrapped around my hand. I call Carolyn up, and she talks me through finding the gauze. Speaker phone kicked ass, but I couldn’t hear her from the bathroom, so I tried our cordless phone we hadn’t used in years. It didn’t work. Argh. So I had to keep walking back and forth between the bathroom and the phone. But if I’d had a cellphone, I’d probably have gotten blood all over it, so this is okay. I find out the gauze is in the back of shelf 3 from the floor, so I get it out. I know where the tape is, because I had just reorganized 3 boxes of band-aids plus 2 rolls of medical tape plus scissors all into one tiny metal coffee tin; it was a 10 minute space-saving project we did last week in order to find a use for the coffee tin [rather than throwing it away]. It saved a ton of space.
So I wrap that baby up. By then, the toilet was pretty messy from the blood. (The sink was too.)
So I then scrub the toilet — I had to stick my hand in the toilet water and everything. Blood does NOT leave easy, I had to wet the whole rim of the toilet just to get my own blood off. Talk about adding insult to injury.
Now my day is filled with left-hand typos. What is the recommended interval of bandage changing, anyway?
The moral of the story: If wire clippers are 5 feet away, and you need to clip wires, for “Bob’s”sake get up and walk over there rather than using a pair of scissors that can’t cut it [pun intended].
Anyway, the other neat thing was – MY BLISTER ON MY RIGHT HAND INSTANTLY DISAPPEARED! I guess all the pus went over to my left hand. No, not really. But my body lost enough blood that it realized its fluids would be put to better use than being used for pussing up something that happened 16 hours ago. So now I have this weird “ex blister” on my right hand, bandages on my left hand, a cleaner toilet than this morning, and bloody underwear in the trash.
ALWAYS FUN UPGRADING SPEAKERS (more…)