movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: Same shit, different city/president/decade.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Jumping over sharks is easier when you’re surfing on a tsunami.

PEOPLE: Directed by John Carpenter (Prince Of Darkness, In The Mouth Of Madness, Big Trouble In Little China). Starring Kurt Russel, reprising his role as Snake Plissken a full 15 years later. With A.J. Langer (Rayanne from My So Called Life, who I instantly recognized and Carolyn didn’t… a shame her career has mostly just included TV shows I’ve never heard of), Steve Buscemi (Fargo, Reservoir Dogs, Miller’s Crossing, The Hudsucker Proxy, The Big Lebowski), Georges Corraface, Stacy Keach (Prison Break, Titus, The Ninth Configuration, Cheech In Chong’s Up In Smoke), Michelle Forbes (Lynn Kresege in 18 episodes of 24, Prison Break, True Blood), Pam Grier (Jackie Brown, Jawbreaker, Foxy Brown, The L Word) as a transexual, Cliff Robinson (Uncle Ben in the Spider-Man movies, Falcon Crest) as the crazy president, Valeria Golino (The King’s Whore [which I can’t find ANYwhere], Hot Shots 1 & 2, Rain Man, Big Top Pee-Wee) as someone who unfortunately [highlight for spoilers] gets shot to death quite suddenly, and Peter Fonda (Ted Turner’s ex-brother-in-law!, who was interviewed in the Space Ghost Coast To Coast episode that introduced me to the music of Rammstein). Also, look out for a barely-recognizable Bruce Campbell. I totally missed him, but Carolyn didn’t.

QUIRKS: Caught in “development hell” for 10 years. Only made back half of its money in the box office.

Takes place in 2013. Los Angeles is now an island, due to “earthquakes” in 2000 that I suspect the government actually created. Tries hard to stay to true to the formula of the first movie. This made some people complain, but I thought it was a good move.

VISUALS: BAD cgi, but overall they make L.A. look almost as bleak as New York from Escape From New York.

SOUNDTRACK: Ministry, Rob Zombie, Butthole Surfers, and Tool seemed appropriate–but Tori Amos?

MORALS: Don’t trust your government, and don’t trust people set to be exiled either. Trust no one.

POLITICS: We get to see how forcing consenting adults to change their victimless “bad” behaviour can lead to the tearing apart of a once-great nation.

BAD STUFF: Some of the worst cgi you will ever see. Some scenes felt like cartoons. This movie is not nearly as dark and brooding as the first one.

And then you have the literal jumping of a shark, when Snake Plissken [highlight for spoilers] rides a tsunami on a surfboard, and then jumps from the board onto a moving car. As well as Snake having to [highlight for spoilers] play basketball under threat of death. If I wanted to watch sports, I’d watch ESPN. They tried really hard to make Snake the baddest badass of all time, but it just came off funny at times.

CONCLUSION/RECOMMENDATION: If you saw the first one, you may as well see the second one for some laughs! It has a lot of the same look and feel, only they managed to actually seem more outdated with a movie made in 1996 than they did with the original movie made in 1981! “Campy” definitely applies. If you haven’t seen the first one, however… There’s probably no good reason to see this. I still liked this one notch above “generic action movie”, simply for all the Snake Plissken goodness.

Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
The native public rating for this movie is Netflix: 3.2/5 stars (3.1/5 stars for people who rate like me–weird), IMDB 5.2/10.

MOVIE QUOTE: “The United States is a non-smoking nation! No smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no women – unless you’re married – no foul language, no red meat!”

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Nobody rated this on Netflix?!

Mood: cold
Music: Alkaline Trio – Over The Frankenstein Place (Rocky Horror cover)