August 2010


I hit 800,000 views today. (23 days after my predicted 30-day window).
I hit 700,000 on 1/21/2010
. (17 days before my predicted 30-day window).
I hit 600,000 on 7/7/2009. (within 1 week of vague “June” prediction).
I hit 500,000 on 12/4/2008. (no prediction)
I hit 400,000 on 5/24/2008. (27 days past prediction)
I hit 300,000 on 2/13/2008. (1 day before prediction)

So:
300K-400K took 3.5 months,
400K-500K took 6 months,
500K-600K  took 7 months,
600K-700K took 6 months.
700K-800K took 7.5 months.

Slowest 100,000 in awhile; I’m only getting ~450 hits a day. Things are slowing down a bit — people don’t like movie reviews mixed in with political links. The big decline started around when I started reviewing every movie I watched. Or maybe Google lowered my rank. At this rate of decline, maybe 800K-900K will take a good 8 months? That would put my prediction for hit #900,000 at around 4/28/2011 plus or minus 15 days. We’ll see what happens. I’ve been playing this game for awhile, but it’s getting harder to predict the future!

Monthly blog stats
^older snapshot of monthly blog stats – 15,836 is for  Jan, 2009
newer 8/2010 snapshot below:

remember when my blog was more popular? ;)

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: A hot tub takes people back to the 1980s. Hilarity ensues.

HAIKU REVIEW: Hot tub time machine
will take you to the 80’s
to relive your life.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): I’m going to defer writing a succinct awkward summary in leiu of using this IMDB posting. Way to make a comedy depressing, IYouHeWeShe!

PEOPLE: Co-written by Sean Anders, who wrote and directed Sex Drive and wrote She’s Out Of My League – both excellent comedies. I look forward to his next 3 projects, though one appears to be a remake of Meatballs. (Sure, why not?)

Starring John Cusack (the movie 2012, High Fidelity, Being John Malkovitch, Tapeheads, One Crazy Summer, Better Off Dead, The Sure Thing), Clark Duke (Sex Drive, 64 eps of Greek, and a bit part in Superbad), Craig Robinson (Darryl from The Office, Miss March, Zack And Miri Make A Porno, Pineapple Express, Fanboys, Walk Hard, Knocked Up), Rob Corddry (Lower Learning, Harold In Kumar 2, What Happens In Vegas, Blades Of Glory, Old School).

With smaller parts played by Sebastian Stan, Lyndsy Fonseca (Kick-Ass, How I Met Your Mother), Crispin Glover (Back To The Future, Alice In Wonderland 2010, the movie 9, Beowulf, Epic Movie, Charlie’s Angels, Dead Man, People Vs. Larry Flynt, Wild At Heart, Twister, Friday The 13th:The Final Chapter), Chevy Chase (Saturday Night Live – the golden years), Charlie McDermott (Sex Drive, The Village), Lizzy Caplan (Mean Girls, Cloverfield, 6 eps of True Blood), Collette Wolfe (Observe And Report, 17 Again, Four Christmases, The Foot Fist Way), and Jessica Pare.

QUIRKS: Science fiction. Comedy. Drugs and alcohol. Girls. Skiing. The 1980s.

References Red Dawn. References Better Off Dead (someone yells “I want my $2!” at John Cusack — and I didn’t even notice!). References tons of old 80s movies and music!

VISUALS: 1980s… eyes burning… so many colors. Actually, I liked the way everything looked back then way more than now.

SOUNDTRACK: Lots of great 80’s hits! I’m glad that INXS’s “Need You Tonight” seems to be less popular than “What You Need” these days.

MORALS: Fuck reality. Fuck the butterfly effect. Break rules and seize the yesterday!

BAD STUFF: Not entirely historically accurate, but that really doesn’t matter for comedic purposes. So Poison wasn’t really popular in 1986. So what?

There was a slight lull in the middle when they were smoking the cigar and Clint had to play the scene 3 times because he kept getting distracted. But that doesn’t really count as a true detriment.

Some of the plot was predictable, but comedies are about the voyage, not the destination.

CONCLUSION: The writer from Sex Drive and She’s Out Of My League does not disappoint! This was easily the best comedy we’ve seen all year. Sci-fi and comedy go together so well, and they are such an underplayed combination. Futurama, anybody?

It started out hilarious, and then it continued to be hilarious, and then it didn’t disappoint with a crappy ending… It delivered the whole way through. Lots of laugh out loud moments!

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 10/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 10/10.

Yes, this movie gets a perfect score. Very rare.

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.8/10, Netflix: 3.8/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 4.6/5 stars–pretty much accurate).

RECOMMENDATION: SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIMILAR MOVIES: It kind of reminds me of what would happen if the movies 17 Again and Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel had a baby together.

MOVIE QUOTES:

Jacob: [from trailer] Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?

Jacob: I’m kinda right in the middle of a thing right now, but can I text you later?
Girl at Club: Can you what?
Jacob: Are you online at all?
Girl at Club: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Jacob: How do I get a hold of you?
Girl at Club: You come find me.
Jacob: That sounds… exhausting.

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Stacy M said it was pretty funny. Angel liked it, but not as much as The Hangover. (I think it’s equal to or greater than. Hard to say. Both movies were more or less perfect.) In general this was very well received. Ian had good things to say about it. (more…)

Moving files-that-I-wouldn’t-mind-losing to new drive as we speak. New total stats (less 80G from 1999 computer in bedroom that is usually turned off):

    Total Usable Space: 10,655,142,125,568   9923.4G    9.69T
    Total  Used  Space:   7,471,858,606,080  6958.7G    6.80T
    Total  Free  Space:   3,183,283,519,488  2964.7G    2.90T
Percentage Free (Full):                        29.88%  (70.12% full)

^ Generated using the “Free” command (“free c: d: e: f: g: h: etc”, I have a “fr.bat’ that is basically free followed by every valid drive letter), and then passed through to “frpost.pl”, a perl script that I use to postprocess the free command, giving gigabyte/terabyte conversions, and a multi-drive total at the bottom. Go past the jump for the code to that perl script, it’s quite useful for prettying up windows output to get a nice total like this.

(more…)

So, I actually remixed a song. Or, rather, a segment of a song.

Fellow SubGenius Orpheus Stain had the idea of doing an Exquisite Corpse audio project — breaking up a long track into 5 parts, and having different people remix each part. I, uh, appropriated samples from The Simps0ns (mainly Lisa tripping, and Marge talking about LSD), Doom (the game), The Three Stooges, and even the Moon8 album (Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon re-done as 8-bit Nintendo music).

Most selections were based on my WAV file collection from the early 1990s… I’m too lazy to actually decide on a sample and then find it; rather I look at what I have and incorporate random things. I’d never done anything like this, and learned how to use the program Mixcraft after determining that CoolEdit wasn’t quite powerful enough for this specific situation.

Anwyay, here’s the original blurb from Orpheus Stain, Ministry Of Slack:

While putting together AlcheMinistry Labs episode 23 : The Chaos! : I came across a track called “JD lives on” from The John Dillinger died for you society on Last.fm. It was a semi-repetitve 7+ minute long piece, but far too predictable to go onto a podcast in honour of Eris Discrodia! I realized, cutting it into 5 pieces and handing them out to anyone who wanted a slice could indeed make it much more chaotic. “JD lives on” is now “John dilinger died for you and is still alive!”.

  1. Orpheus Stain – 23 Skidoo : instrumental.
  2. Pontifex Soddi -John Dillinger is processed.
  3. UUAR UUZARE – Shot down in his tracks.
  4. Clint — i.e. ME!! — aka Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos – John Dillinger is still alive.
  5. Orpheus Stain – Dillinger beat the shit out of those motherfucking Illuminati cocksuckers.
    You can download the mp3 here: http://www.divshare.com/download/12360028-d56. A better filename than the default download filename would be “Orpheus Stain, Pontifex Soddi, Erazuu, Clint aka Xanatos – John Dillinger Died For You And Is Still Alive!.mp3”

    You can tell where my part begins: The first sample from The Simps0ns.

    This message is brought to you by The John Dillinger died for you and is still alive Society. (more…)

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] A full-screen made-for-TV movie that we only found on VHS, with a whopping rating of 4.4/10 on IMDB!

PEOPLE: Zach Galligan (Gremlins), and the lovely Teri Hatcher (Lois & Clark, Desperate Housewives), Lara Harris (The Fisher King), and Tracy Griffith.

QUIRKS: Love. Betrayal. Cheating. Bondage. Female domination. This is a quirky romantic comedy.

VISUALS: The only visual appeal are the three beautiful women. Most everything else in this movie–including the writing–is kind of lacking.

MORALS: Don’t cheat on people. Also: Don’t kidnap people. It’s kind of mean. But apparently, it can save a relationship, if you live in the fictitious world of this movie. :)

BAD STUFF: The budget. The writing. Several plot holes.

CONCLUSION: This movie is saved only by the female domination / bondage / hot chicks / Teri Hatcher angle. Which is exactly why we picked it up anyway…

RATINGS: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10 for Clint, 7/10 for Carolyn. Saved by the bondage/Teri Hatcher/hot chick angle

RECOMMENDATION: Not recommended unless these particular quirks appeal to you.

SIMILAR MOVIES: Think “Misery”, but without being creepy. (more…)

Dreamed that Carolyn and I were riding in the back seat of Carolyn’s parents’ car, just like we did in real life to go to our real-life Cape Cod vacation. Carolyn was telling her parents about our real-life argument that we had in real life the previous night before.

20090718 - camping - GEDC0428 - Clint - flicking off camera for being broken

Went to bed about this mad

Then, suddenly, Carolyn fell out the window and I saw her hit the ground and roll. We were probably going 45MPH.

Carolyn’s dad didn’t even slow down.

I was quite upset — and had to tell Lowell to stop the car. I think Carolyn survived the accident.

20060307 - car accident leftovers - 109-0903

accidents suck

I woke up with a big adrenaline rush, still quite mad from going to be angry, but also quite sad to see Carolyn hurt in my dreams. It helped put the argument we had into perspective; Most dreams aren’t so therapeutic.

20100325 - Clintopia #001 - optimism (art by Pete Jaquay) - v4

Falling sucks. But at least I can be optimistic with validity, since this falling only occurred in a dream.

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

I dreamt Carolyn & I were being held hostage in some hotel room.

The bad guy gets distracted, so I take his gun to try to free us, but then it turns out to just be a gun-shaped piece of metal. WTF, mang!

He’s there, trying to rape/kill/whatever to Carolyn, so I look for another weapon to use against him. I notice this pair of metal scissors — much like the govt-issue scissors I grew up with, but not as big as the Voldo scissors.

https://i1.wp.com/clint.sheer.us/download/imagedump/scissors.gif

I go to stab the guy in the back. I actually opened the scissors up about 4 inches, so that it would make 2 stab wounds instead of one. But then I stupidly stab Carolyn in the back with both scissor prongs (about 0.75 inches deep), despite the fact that it would be obvious, even to a 3 year old, that I was stabbing the wrong back. WTF?!?!

Realizing I wasn’t thinking things through, I finally stab the correct back — the criminal’s. Once they are sticking in his back. I then use both my hands — a flashback to when I recently cut myself with scissors with the strength of both hands — to shove the scissor blades ALL THE WAY INTO the guy’s back. Quite violent. He finally dies. Carolyn & I get the hell out of there.

In the city, we run into Sam Watson, who I recognize within 1 second of turning the corner. The End.

20100625 - Clint's scissor injury - IMG_1019 - bloody floor

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
-Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Wikipedia link] [Not available on Netflix.]

PEOPLE: Created by Tom Root (Robot Chicken stop-motion animator and producer) and Matthew Seinrich (Robot Chicken creator, writer, and executive producer).

Voices:
Rachel Leigh Cook as Jodi (I’ve never seen a single one of her 43 movies). Eden Espinosa (unknown) as Sasha, who seems to be based on Sasha Grey. Seth Green, of course. Brekin Meyer (Jon in the 2004 Garfield movie, Go, Can’t Hardly Wait, the surfer from Escape From L.A., The Craft, Clueless, Joseph Gribble from King Of The Hill). Dan Milano as Willie Palmer (he was Greg The Bunny in Greg The Bunny! I totally didn’t notice this!). Billy Dee Williams (Lando Calrissian from Star Wars) as Admiral Bitchface.

PLOT SUMMARY: Titan Maximum is basically Voltron, but his program was canceled. But now a new threat requires him to be awakened again. But two members are missing — so they are replaced with a geeky kid, and a stoic monkey.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Voltron fails at saving billions of grandparents.

QUIRKS: Voltron parody with a Robot Chicken attitude. Good characters, bit so-so plots. The whole series is, technically, one 9-episode serialized story. It might have worked better as a movie, but then nobody would have watched it. (Hardly anyone did anyway, but hey, that’s because AdultSwim is obscure for a lot of people.)

Sasha seems to possibly be inspired by Sasha Grey. I wish I’d realized that when I was watching this. Now you know, and knowing’s half the battle. To see a bit of what I mean, look at this picture vs this picture.

The monkey… is the most hilarious character I’ve ever seen that never makes an expression or says anything. He just looks straight ahead, calmly, never acknowledging anything. The most he will do is slightly turn his head, or blink an eye. It’s… really hard to understand why it’s so hilarious, but contrasted with every other character’s over-reactions and dramatic talking, his lack of, well, anything — is hilarious.

VISUALS: Stop-motion animation that looks just like Robot Chicken, but with more interesting camera angles.

WILHELM SCREAM: Yup, I think in the last episode! Debbie had emailed me to ask me if I heard a Wilhelm scream in Family Guy the night before, but I hadn’t watched it yet. I got to respond, “No, but I *did* hear it in *other* things I watched that night!”

BAD STUFF: Unfortunately, it just wasn’t as brilliant as Robot Chicken. The plots were a bit thin at times. The humor was always close to grade-A, but the action and story left a bit to be desired. The story was still interesting, but it’s kind of difficult to tell a serialized story in 11 minute chunks. This should have been a 22 minute show, but then it only would have lasted 5 episodes.

CONCLUSION: Definitely worth seeing for Robot Chicken / AdultSwim completists. I mean, it’s only about 2 hours total.

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7.4/10 – A “high 7”.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.

No IMDB/Netflix rating — still awaiting 5 votes on IMDB.

RECOMMENDATION: If you don’t require your humor or story to be sophisticated, and want to kill 2 hours watching an adults-only Voltron parody… Here is the only show I know of in existence that will do that for you.

SIMILAR SHOWS: Voltron + Robot Chicken. But really: Super Adventure Team. Except nobody remembers that. Hell, *I* didn’t even watch it… Yet. (I own it.)

QUOTES:

“It’s like I’ve memorized every combo in the game and he just keeps hitting the A button.”

“We thought you’d given up on us. And by ‘We’ I mean ‘I’ and by ‘thought’ I mean ‘hoped’ and by ‘given up’ I mean ‘died’ and by ‘on us’ I mean ‘in a fire’ and by period I mean disappointed ellipses.” (more…)

/yard sale sign/ Got up around 12:30PM, went to Home Depot, and made it out driving to yardsale by about 1:30PM or so, and went out until 2:30ish(?), for a total of perhaps just 1 hours.

Only spent $3.00 plus ~$1.50 or so on gas for roughly 10 miles of driving, for a total cost of $4.50.

We bought 9 items – 10 if you count the walky-talkies separately – for a total estimated value of $112, leading to a profit of $107.50. To earn that much after taxes you’d really have to earn $154; money saved (by not having to spend it) is actually worth more than we realize when the government’s cut is taken into consideration.

Anyway, this works out to a “wage” of $107/hr as a couple or $53/hr per person. Surprisingly good, even if some of the profit is in value that we don’t directly perceive. ($32 for a harmonica?! Really?!)

  • $1.00: garden shears, rusty, larger than our old broken pair (EV:$10, based on the rusty condition deducted from the $15-$20 avg cost of these–I have rust remover)
  • http://lh4.googleusercontent.com/5IQ__nnRethNl5m9AC3qRlR8mrbQ-OabKsTZjCcTnY7CV5Kz3po7v1lirimNJwg3KsBnDQB8IeDH61DqiENomkfpQVcxW9QwRpFFenW5VB19zAJqfErEthlSw0i9f8AG5H7HRYWazJto3dlmF0LAxOjoAS6_ByMFfXxnS0jciU21zHLRmszgEhEf

  • $1.00: walkie talkies ($0.50 each), Genex GMRS – serial # 074120714853 and serial # 074120714854, Cat No. 21-1873, FCC ID PM3MK1995, Model# MK2000 (manual here) (EV:$20, at least, probably more)
  • https://i0.wp.com/nysparanormalresearch.com/images/walkie%20talkie.jpg

  • $0.50: harmonica, metal outside, wood inside, Hohner Blues Harp MS (EV:$32! No clue this was a “high grade’ harmonica [if there’s such a thing]. Surprised it costs that much.)
  • https://i0.wp.com/www.musicoutfitters.com/harmonicas/images/diatonics_Blues-Harp-MS.gif

  • $0.50: magnifying glass, round ultra-generic [realized I had 0, now I have 2] (EV:$5)
  • https://i2.wp.com/images.marketworks.com/hi/51/51407/ha-mg8875.jpg

  • $FREE: bag, cell phone, McGuire-Nicolas Work Wear, blue, with metal belt clip, 5″x3″ (EV:$14)

    https://i0.wp.com/www.alltimetools.com/wolthuis.aspx

    this EXACT thing

  • $FREE: bag, camera, Bear Mountain Gear by Ryka, 6″x4″, with front pocket, had a small calculator in the pocket (Ameribano Mortgage Group) (EV:$15, new cases are ridiculously expensive, this is way better than the one we paid $30 for in 2001)
  • $FREE: bag, camera, generic, 2 inside pockets, one place for like a lighter, 7″x5″, non-removable belt loop (EV:$10,not as rugged as the others)
  • $FREE: mailbox, white, metal, bent, slightly rusty (EV:$5, more really, cause we’re on our 3rd mailbox in 10 yrs, so it’s a given we’ll have to buy another)
  • $FREE: screwdriver set, small — not as small as eyeglasses repair ones, but smaller than anything we have (EV:$1)

Yup. Nothing TOO exciting, but it’s good – we just threw away the $30 camera bag bought in 2001. We finally have a suitable replacement [we re-used the strap].

Click here for other Yard Sale-related postings.

* EV stands for “Estimated Value”, which I estimate by looking things up in Google Shopping/Google/Amazon/Ebay. I don’t always deduct for an item being used, unless it’s actually in worse condition in a way that matters. I also try to only count shipping if it’s the type of thing that would need to be shipped, and only if the price isn’t “fixed” (i.e. 1 cent items that cost $10 to ship would not be $10 in person). (more…)

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