LIMERICK REVIEW: There once was a haunted chick named Katie,
whose life was weirder than an episode of O’Grady.
Her boyfriend Micah was a douchebag–
I even read it on his damn name tag.
I wish people would stop saying Katie’s weighty.
HAIKU REVIEW: Demons fucking suck.
Get out of your fucking house!
For fucks sake, damnit!
UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers]→Stubborn boyfriend incites demon to possess his girlfriend.
PEOPLE: Written, directed, and starring nobody who’s really done much of anything else. The 2 main characters were paid $500.
QUIRKS: Shot in 10 days on a mere $11K-15K budget that turned into a $9M profit in 1 weekend, despite playing at less than 200 theaters.
It’s done in “handheld / found video / camcorder” style, like Blair Witch and Cloverfield.
It’s about being haunted by a demon. Someone said that if you believe in that stuff, this movie is scary, and if you don’t, it isn’t. I think that is an incorrect assessment. I don’t believe in this existence of that kind of stuff, but at the same time I don’t believe in faith, and don’t have 100% faith that I’m right about that. Part of how this movie was scary was because it showed a scenario whereby *I* could be convinced that that stuff was real. If it was me, I would have gotten the hell out of that house!
The theatrical cut is probably the best cut, but know that there are 3 different endings. Read IMDB‘s alternate verisons carefully — AFTER watching the movie. They are full of spoilers.
VISUALS: Camcorder shakiness. Not that that bugs me.
SOUNDTRACK: If you have a powerful subwoofer, it definitely enhances the various rumbles.
MORALS: If there’s a fucking demon involved, and you’ve proven it… For chrissakes, take the damn thing seriously and listen to your fucking girlfriend. DOUCHEBAG.
BAD STUFF: Micah was a douchebag.
They should have turned their lights on. I’d have SLEPT with my lights on if I were them. (I did for the first 8 years of my life anyway…)
Carolyn says (some spoilers ahead): “It was creepy, but it had some flaws.. like how they waited so long to call the demonologist.. I think the ‘original’ ending [with the police] sounds like the best ending. [I don’t! I think the theatrical sounds best. This discussion here spells out pretty much exactly what I think -Clint] It had a good creep factor, and I was definitely nervous… So that would be 5 star… But most of it was just watching time lapse while they slept [Not true! -Clint]… and then some creepy parts.. And it was annoying how the guy was refusing to call the demonologist… what was his problem with that? It’s like, if he didn’t want to call the demonologist because he didn’t believe the stuff was a demon, I can understand that… but he did admit there were strange things going on, but “he wanted to take care of it himself”… I guess that was a good struggle… and she’s like “Forget you, you’re powerless, I’m calling in the experts” but it was too late..Her being dragged down the hall was fucked up.” Carolyn brings up some interesting points… But I think Micah was stubborn enough to believe he could actually deal with a demon himself. After all, he was a non-believer, so he probably equated it with something along the lines of a raccoon (instead of, say, a tiger).
CONCLUSION: Freakin’ terrifying. I don’t even believe in that kind of stuff–so realistic depictions work best for me. This sure did. Adrenal rush!!!!
RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.9/10, Netflix: 3.4/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.2/5 stars..WRONG!).
RECOMMENDATION: Watch this IN YOUR OWN HOME, in the dark. Not in the theatre. There’s no way this would be as scary with 100 other people around and making noise. It’s scary when you hear a sound, aren’t sure if it’s your house’s 7.1 rear surround speakers or the house in the movie, and then have to walk around and sleep in said house afterward.
MOVIE QUOTE: Micah: What if we just get this Ouija board and we find out what it wants and then we give it what it wants? Then it’s gone.
The Psychic: Because what it probably wants is Katie.
I also had several facebook friends talk about how it scared them – Rose, Chris Williams, Amy Moore, etc. There were people who commented in response that they didn’t think much of it, but those people weren’t my friends. My FRIENDS all had good things to say about it.
But then a weird thing happened. Paranormal Activity 2 came out. All of a sudden, a bunch of people said that they hated Paranormal Activity 1. Where the hell were they back when Paranormal Activity 1 was a fresh movie? I heard NONE of the bad criticism about this film until the sequel came out. Do I smell sheep? Or is there some psychological factor? Do people keep their bad opinions to themselves, but then when a sequel comes out, it pushes them over the edge enough to complain about it?
PEOPLE: I don’t know the director, but writer Trent Haaga wrote and played a part in The Toxic Avenger 4: Citizen Toxie. He has written a bunch of movies that have terrible-sounding titles.
Starring Shiloh Fernandez as Rickie, apparently the sanest character in the story (or so it seems?). Noah Segan (John from Cabin Fever 2) as J.T., the one who really causes everything to happen. Love interest JoAnn is played by Candice Accola (The Vampire Diaries, and a tiny bit part in Juno), who looks way better as a redhead than as a blonde. And of course who could forget Jenny Spain (another pic here) as the dead girl. This was her first movie, and her next one will actually have her… speaking! Not just being a zombie sex slave :)
Michael Bowen — the name of my uncle — plays a character named Clint — my name. A very minor character, but it’s worth mentioning for the name coincidences, and the fact that he is in Cabin Fever 2 as well. He was in Kill Bill 2, Magnolia, Beverly Hills Cop 3, and tons of other movies.
PLOT SUMMARY: Teenage romance wrapped in a dark comedy wrapped in a psychological thriller wrapped in a zombie horror wrapped in a coming of age story.
UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Teens fuck zombies.
QUIRKS: Doesn’t fit into a single genre very well. Is NOT an exploitation film, but actually a film about morals, power, and sexuality.
VISUALS: It looks kinda dark and low budget, but then again, I’m used to 720p or 1080p HD, and I only watched this in “shitty DVD quality”, so I can’t judge this too accurately. The look and feel were adequate enough to support the story. NO, YOU DON’T SEE ANY EXPLICIT SEX.
SOUNDTRACK: I don’t pay attention to soundtracks much — since I am musically close-minded and dislike most music — but apparently the soundtrack reminds a lot of people of the Donnie Darko soundtrack.
MORALS/POLITICS: The whole movie is one big moral quandary! There’s a lot to be said about sexism, misogyny, power, gender. Knee-jerk one dimensional feminists are gonna hate this one! People who have a knee-jerk reaction to things will insist this is misogynistic because of the subject matter. But I got a news flash for you — the sex that has the most negativity directed at it in this movie is MALES. I’m pretty sure females would never stoop to the level of the males in this movie. I’m pretty sure females would never do the things the males did here. The males in this movie represent the id urges of every male — to fuck something that feels good to fuck, human or not. Some people don’t want to admit this; some people do. But misogynistic? If anything, it’s a realistic portrayal of male misogyny, and not misogynistic in and of itself. Do people really think that guys would never do this in a million years? They’re wrong. Guys would do this. A lot of guys would. There are more slaves and rapists alive now than at any point in history, thanks to population growth. Guys would do this. Especially loser teens with nothing to lose.
GOOD STUFF: A great twist on the “zombie genre”. Not unlike I Am Legend, the true monsters in this movie are the humans, not the zombies.
BAD STUFF: Not a huge budget; this is an indie flick. So some may say the acting isn’t up to A-movie par. The thing is, how many other movies like this can you really compare this too? (Actually, there is another movie with a similar premise, but I haven’t seen it. Yet.)
And then there are the whole set of people who can’t get past the premise of the movie. Much like The Human Centipede — or even Twilight — there are a bunch of haters who never actually saw the movie. Such people seem to proudly wear their prejudiced idiocy like a badge.
People also complain about: Slow pacing, predictability, moral bankruptcy, bad dialog, and cliches. But c’mon! If a movie is over 90 minutes, those who don’t like it always say it’s slow, and those who do are always glad that it went on longer. Predictable? Yea, humans are pretty predictable to start with. Most stories are predictable. It’s the voyage, not the journey. Morally bankrupt? Why are you watching this movie, if your movies must conform to traditional morals? Go watch a romantic comedy instead! Bad dialog? I dunno, man, I find what comes out of teenagers mouths in real life to be bad dialog too, man. (They say “man” a lot, and people dislike this. Would it be better if they’d said bro”?) Most dialog between most people is bad dialog. Maybe they should talk like Shakespeare, or Juno? Cliches? I’m not sure what the existing list of zombie rape cliches are… Haters gonna hate!
Some people also don’t like the gas station scene. [Minor spoilers shead] They think it’s medically unrealistic because they’ve watched Hollywood movies too much, and think if you bleed from your head, you’re automatically unconscious or dead. But really, it helps put the boys in their place: As pathetic weaklings who couldn’t get laid unless they found a zombie chained up in an insane asylum. And of course she didn’t call the police after taking their wallets.
CONCLUSION: This is one of the most unique horror/thriller/dark comedy/drama/shocking movies that I’ve ever seen in my life. Tempted to give it a 10/10, but I’m snobby about giving 10s. It kind of defies classification, as it’s not strictly a horror, a thriller, or a dark comedy. What is definitely is, is FUCKED UP. And “fucked up” almost deserves its own genre category. This movie makes you think, it makes you cringe, it makes you squirm, it titillates you, explores sexuality, bullying, alienation, power struggles, gender roles; it makes you laugh, it makes you sad… There is a surprising range of emotion and reaction to be experienced via such a simple gimmick as “zombie sex slave”. I’m amazed that most people don’t really like this movie — but I think that says more about the people than the movie. I also think that the fact that so many people hate this SO MUCH, with the intensity of 1000 suns — is actually a compliment to the movie. It’s a hard pill to swallow, and people don’t like to be challenged. So they react. But it is that intense reaction that is exactly what is so great about this movie. It’s challenging, unlike most movies. So nice to actually be shocked again. It’s a rare thing for me.
RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 9/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8.4/10.
John The Canadien: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 9/10. “It’s like Stand By Me, only instead of just discovering a body, they also have sex with it.” Read his review here.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.0/10, Netflix: 2.8/5 stars (what?!?!!) (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 4.0/5 stars–IT KNOWS!!).
RECOMMENDATION: SEE IT SEE IT SEE IT!!!! Don’t be close-minded to the idea simply because it is what it is!
SIMILAR MOVIES:Make-Out With Violence actually has a similar premise, and is rated 0.9/10 higher on IMDB. Ginger Snaps comes up a lot. Zombie Strippers also deals with zombies and sex appeal, although in a completely superficial way (it’s not a great movie like this one).
This movie is like Stand By Me meets Weird Science. Or maybe Beavis & Butt-head meets American Pie meets Twilight meets The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I don’t know.
FUNNIEST IMDB COMMENT: (in response to a feminist hater of the movie who called it misogynistic) “Look… I bet you’re ugly, and that’s fine. I’ll bang ugly chicks. I watch tons of films, but you missed the point of Deadgirl. This movie was telling girls that pre-marital sex is okay, and so is post-mortem sex. It’s like drunk sex, but when you slipped the girl a bunch of your Klonopin, and are all amped up on cocaine and Viagra.”
I’m also fond of: “What did they expect to see? A serious discourse on the morality of repeatedly raping a zombie?”
THE TRAILER: I only watch trailers AFTER I see movies. This one isn’t that good, but at least it doesn’t spoil all the good parts:
PLOT SUMMARY: A virus has wiped out the country, but infected people are still around. Let’s road trip!
UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers]→Wrench-wielding father dooms 2 strangers in an unsuccessful bid to save his daughter.
PEOPLE: Starring Chris Pine (Kirk in the new Star Trek movie) as a far-assholier-than-Kirk older brother, and Lou Taylor Pucci (the main character in Fifty Pills, also in The Informers) as the smarter little brother. Co-starring Piper Perabo as the stupid bitch and Emily VanCamp (Brothers & Sisters, Everwood) as the quiet “other” girl. With Christopher Meloni (Law & Order, Oz, Freakshow in Harold & Kumar, Wet Hot American Summer) as the wrench-wielding dad, and Kiernan Shipka as the little kid. Surprisingly, we’ve seen her as the uncredited Tar Pits Kid in Land Of The Lost, as well as in Lower Learning… Not that we recognize children.
QUIRKS: Probably a more realistic depiction of events than most movies like this.
VISUALS: A tiny bit of gore, but for the most part, it’s just a roadtrip survival horror movie.
MORALS: Nobody will have them when the shit hits the fan. Prepare to fuck other people over so you can live another day. When the world is shit, there is no such thing as right and wrong.
BAD STUFF: Depressing. NOT a comedic horror movie. Some comedy in the first half, but it’s just incidental. It may mislead you to expecting more. Don’t. This is not a comedy!
Nor is it a high-action horror movie. It’s character-driven and dark. Almost a drama.
That chick was a DUMBASS!!! What a bitch!
And it has a kind of ambiguous, but dark ending. Not much is resolved. I like things to resolve, so this hurt a bit… But it really helped drive the movie home. The closing song was a pretty perfect choice too; something I’d never listen to for pleasure, but which I loved when juxtaposed with the plot:
CONCLUSION: This is basically what Zombieland would be if you had no comedy. Or zombies. (You get infected people who kill you if they breathe on you instead.) With a more realistic outlook (and outcome) than most horror movies, this was indeed a somber tale. THERE ARE NO ZOMBIES.
RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.3/10, Netflix: 3.0/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.4/5 stars).
RECOMMENDATION: Horror lovers should see this. It’s definitely a cut or two above generic, and a cut or two below ultimate masterpiece.
UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers]→Teenage girls find people to screw over in a world that has no people left.
PEOPLE: Starring Michael Cera-wannabe Jesse Eisenberg (Adventureland, The Village, Roger Dodger), Woody Harrelson (Cheers, Natural Born Killers, A Scanner Darkly, Larry Flynt in The People Vs. Larry Flynt, Wag The Dog, Indecent Proposal), Emma Stone (The House Bunny, Superbad), and Abigail Breslin (who was 6 years old when she was in Signs).
QUIRKS: Zombies AND comedy. Where can you go wrong?
VISUALS: Post-zombie-apocalypse bleakness. Not a lot of gore, so this is less visual than many zombie/horror movies.
SOUNDTRACK:Metallica AND Chuck Mangione? Can you really go wrong with that? Throw in some Van Halen, Velvet Underground, Mozart, Willie Nelson, Hank Williams, Blue Oyster Cult, and Ray Parker Jr., and you’re set.
MORALS: Despite the fact that a post-zombie world requires detaching your emotions from all your loved ones [especially the ones who just tried to eat you], it still remains true that people survive best when depending on each other for help.
BAD STUFF: Not a lot of zombies. Hardly any in the entire movie, for something called “Zombieland”.
CONCLUSION: An awesome zombie-survival-comedy! I wont say that it puts Shaun Of The Dead to shame — but I think it’s pretty much just as good.
RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 9/10. Maybe a low 5-stars and a low 9/10, but a 5/5, 9/10 nonetheless.
Carolyn: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 9/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: a whopping 8.0/10, Netflix: 4.4/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 4.6/5 stars).
RECOMMENDATION: A must-see comedy AND a must-see zombie movie.
SIMILAR MOVIES: Shaun Of The Dead, of course. Here’s looking forward to the 3-D sequel, Zombieland 2!
MOVIE QUOTE: Tallahassee: Out west, we hear it’s out east, out east they hear it’s out west. It’s all bullshit. It’s like you’re a penguin at the North Pole hears the South Pole is real nice this time of year.
Columbus: There are no penguins in the North Pole.
Tallahassee: You wanna feel how hard I can punch?
FRIENDS’ RATINGS:Ian really liked it (4/5 stars). Teela thought it was awesome. Chase said it was amazing. Radha said it was a “fun bit of fluff”. Another review full of spoilers. (more…)
[IMDB link] [Netflix link] Watched in our hotel room while vacationing at Cape Cod. Chatham Bars Inn doesn’t even have dvd players?! So you have to pay $14-$16 to watch movies?! And then they come out wrong: We had to cancel one because it was widescreen, cropped to 4:3, then re-stretched to widescreen so that everyone’s head was wider than it was tall. Then when we watched Wolfman, satellite transmission codes distractingly appeared on the screen. The front desk was unable to help in either situation. They credited the first movie back. The second movie, they SAID they’d credit back, but it ended up being billed to the room anyway. Not happy with their movie service at all. I would have much preferred to watch my Ren & Stimpy and The State DVDs, but we settled for watching The Wolfman, since it was something we were going to watch at home anyway.
PLOT SUMMARY: A wolf man. Uh DUH…
UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Being a wolf sucks.
PEOPLE: The director of Jumanji and Honey I Shrunk The Kids meets the writers of Se7en and Road To Perdition. Starring Benicio Del Toro (Che, Sin City, 21 Grams, Traffic, Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas), Emily Blunt, and Anthony Hopkins (Hannibal Lecter). Benicio was a Wolfman-like character in his very first movie, Big Top Pee-Wee (“dog-faced boy”). Both movies were scored by Danny Elfman (of course).
VISUALS: 1800s. Werewolves. Old decrepit houses. Not much going on, but it’s quite different from what you see when you look out the window today :)
And the bear the gypsies had? Recycled animation from The Golden Compass. It was a polar bear. They colored it different and re-used it.
SOUNDTRACK: Howls were done by many “actors” such as KISS singer Gene Simmons and Van Halen singer David Lee Roth.
MORALS: No real moral to the story, but a big moral question that is asked is: If it’s okay to kill a beast, but not a man, how do you know where one begins, and the other ends?
POLITICS:
Insane asylums: Corrupt ways to jail people who don’t deserve being jailed. Institutions that use the shadow of society’s apathy to hide their torturous methods. Still true today.
Gun control: Bad. They used the mere threat of a repeating rifle [without actually having one] to ward off an angry mob. Property owners’ rights first; the right to self-defense first.
Gypsies: Not so bad, really.
GOOD STUFF: Modern special effects give us one of the more realistic werewolf transformations.
BAD STUFF: It felt kind of rushed at the end. I was surprised when the climax came as fast as it did. This may alternately be that the beginning half was far slower than the ending half. Basically: Pacing problems. It seems to drag its feet, then suddenly go into a sprint.
Also, from the description of the missing scenes, the director’s cut would have been better. I hate theatrical / non-director cuts. Yet another reason why I prefer watching movies at home.
CONCLUSION: Nothing spectacular, but still a cut above generic. There haven’t been as many werewolf movies in the past decade, as compared to the 1980s, so it’s kind of nice to see one again.
RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.1/10, Netflix: 3.1/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.3/5 stars).
MOVIE QUOTE: “I am what they say I am… I’m a monster.”
COINCIDENCES: (real life) Hours after Chase told me what a repeating rifle was while playing Bang, a repeating rifle threat is issued in the movie we watch.
FRIENDS’ RATINGS:
iDRMRSR: “I thought it was a waste of time, film, and Anthony Hopkins.”
Suds Pshaw: “I enjoyed it — still Like the original better. An American Werewolf in London, The Wolfman (original) and Wolf are my top three werewolf flicks.”
Haha. Congratulations, copylords. You killed the service that people used 10 years ago. You've accomplished very little, other than driving people to new, better, future p2p technologies… like bittorrent.
Go Obama appointees! This is what we need! Investigation into why cops are killed so much, when even garbage men die at a greater rate than cops. Hope & change? Hah.
"WIKILEAKS IS KILLING PEOPLE!"
^^^ Bullshit. It's bullshit wars that kill people. Even if people were killed by Wikileaks, bringing attention to the bullshit of these wars will save more lives than they would kill. And the people who are mad about Wikileaks are often the ones who justify that war kills some innocent people anyway! What hypocrisy! Killing innocent people is okay for fighting a war, but not okay for stopping the same war.
Killing a soldier that raped your sister is completely justified when there is no justice system or way to prosecute Americans under the Iraqi system. What is not justified is a U.S. Army Major ordering someone's execution using the same techniques the terrorists use. We raped, then beheaded. Why are we there again? To stop terrorism and torture? What about when we're the ones doing it?
* full moon, but later cloud cover made the light very diffuse – could walk around without a flashlight
* first time we ever saw a vehicle past the 2nd gate – an ambulance skulked around for hours, occasionally siren’ing or making 10-point U-turns – someone had been rescued
* Gary/TwoBean’s first time there
* the 2nd gate was completely open! Never seen that, ever.
* ran late, making Evan the first person there. He couldn’t find the site without people already in it, and ended up walking around for miles over an hour.
* ate late at sheets, making Clint too full to really eat anything significant until the next day
* Evan brought no stuff because he thought he’d go back to the cabin, but other people had enough stuff to cover him when he realized that wasn’t happening
Inevitable lawsuit occurred. We won. When "saving" someone by pulling him out of the water, you can't then go shoot him in the back because he grabbed your gunl. Why do you need a gun to pull someone from the water anyway? Is he going to be armed? And shoot you with a wet gun? If you're too scared to take the risk, you're too much of a pussy to be a cop.
This guy was on tons of drugs. Probably why he jumped off the ship. He brought this situation on himself. But in this case, the proper thing for society to do would be to rescue him and put him in detox. Yes, he grabbed their gun and taser. Maybe you don't need a holstered weapon as you save someone from drowning? Jeeze.
Yes, you can't just go pepper-spraying and arresting people because they wouldn't tell you their birthday. People have a right to remain silent, before and after arrest. You also shouldn't throw them in jail overnight without any actual charges. Most people consider that false arrest.
Another rare victory: An officer actually being held PERSONALLY responsible for doing something. He harassed a gay for playing dice on the street. Because, y'know, dice kills our children. The guy had a cell phone, which of course is "oh no it's a gun i better shoot him". What a dick.
Of course internal affairs ruled it justified. "He got scared and shot someone he shouldn't have, but that is fine." How about we shoot some cops because we're scared they might hurt us? Would that be found justified? No? Didn't think so.
They shot an unarmed man.
They claimed he grabbed his gun, but no fingerprints were found on the gun.
They claimed they shot him in front, but testimony was presented that he appeared to be shot in the back.
Of course they were cleared of criminal wrongdoing, and the shooting was found justified by police.
So will this ruling actually change anything?
Or will police continue to shoot innocent, unarmed men?
This is the largest settlement in Minneapolis ever — EXCEPT when a cop shot another cop. Cops are so special: Their criminal misdoings are never punished at the same rate, and their lawsuit awards for being abused are larger as well. Everything is in their favor.
Answer: The judge, James Morley, refused to let the jury properly interpret state law.
So now a man who broke no ;law – in fact checking the rules with police before entering New Jersey – is serving 7 years due to a guilty verdict that should never have been issued, due to improper instructions from Judge James Morley — who has since been removed for misconduct.
America: We have a constitution that guarantees you certain rights, but the government can consistently ignore any one of those rights at any time, therefore they don't really exist anymore.
PEOPLE: Dakota Fanning (Coraline, Push, Sweet Home Alabama) replaces Lilo’s voice, as the ‘real’ Lilo (Daveigh Chase, aka Samantha Darko) is too busy working on the TV series. Tia Carrere (rawwwr). Chris Sanders as Stitch, as usual. Kevin McDonald (Kids In The Hall, Invader Zim), who has a penchant for playing aliens. David Ogden Stiers (Major Charles Winchester in M*A*S*H, Hoodwinked, Better Off Dead, the announcer in THX 1138). And the well-known voice actor Jennifer Hale.
QUIRKS: A sequel to a movie that wasn’t that great to begin with.
VISUALS: Disney animation. Definitely not as impressive as Pixar CGI.
SOUNDTRACK: Annoying Disney songs, but fortunately only a minute or two of that crap.
MORALS: None, really. This movie had very little redeeming value other than telling a children’s story.
BAD STUFF: VERY generic kid’s movie.
CONCLUSION: We were in the mood to avoid watching better movies [to save them for the weekend or company], but wanted to pass some time. This worked. It was a bit annoying at times, though. Disney, y’know. Not as cool when you’re not a kid. I probably should not have picked this up. We certainly didn’t hate it, but it was kind of thin on plot.
RATINGS:IMDB: 5/10. Netflix: 2.5/5 stars, rounded up to 3. I might be being charitable here, but this still worked as a G-rated, barely passable movie.
RECOMMENDATION: If you can watch G-rated animated movies, you can probably watch this. But if you’re looking for a *real* animated movie, go watch Coraline or some of Rene Laloux‘s stuff instead. I’d really only recommend this for parents to watch with their kids or something. And yes, we have no excuse to be watching this! Hah! But I tend to always pick up a sequel to any movie I watched.
MOVIE QUOTE: Stitch: “Uh-oh. Badness coming on.” (more…)
I dreamed we went to some highschool/collegeish class in D.C., and there was some kind of terrorist attack that downed a nearby building.
At first, I left everyone and was going to try to get the hell outta town. But eventually I wandered back to the class and continued attending it. No clue why we weren’t evacuating the city…
“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
– Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)
Yes, we did all kinds of horrible things. We knew about it, and we covered it up. This is why Wikileaks is necessary: To save the lives of the innocent people tortured by America over a bullshit war that never had any justification in the first place [other than taking out Saddam, which should have been done LAST time we fought a war against Iraq].
*1300* reports of detainee torture were made to senior officers. We knew EXACTLY what was happening. We created more terror than was ever directed at us. And we gave direct orders to not bother investigating these reports. We are complicit in war crimes. Ending torture was one of the reasons we supposedly went into Iraq in the first place!
I love the comments that "he should have been kept in". Mentally disabled people have just as much of a right as anyone else to go out and about in public, unless they are violent. This person was not randomly violent towards members of society; he simply struggled with people attacking him for a reason he probably did not understand.
The cops absolutely should be charged and fired. Sean Richards should serve time for killing someone.
Yea, the guy was a drunk driver who got in an accident. But nobody was hurt, and he was no longer driving. Officers did NOT have a warrant to enter his house. Nor are they allowed to simply shoot a man to death because they got too scared to continue to do their job correctly. Let's hope for some guilty verdicts, as well as some lawsuits.
Gee, funny how the taser never comes out in the situations it was designed for. How about a new law? Officers have to wait until they are fired upon — or actually see, 100%, an actual gun — before returning fire. If that sounds too risky for you, then go sign up for another career. Taxi drivers and garbage men die on the job more than officers; it's not as dangerous as they make their work out to be.
Officer Robert Flodquist shot and killed an unarmed man because he's a coward who was not willing to take the proper amount of risk in the situation. Sure, Malik fled from the police. Fleeing from the police is not a crime with a possible sentence of death, nor is it officers jobs to mete out sentences. When you kill someone in self defense, and they aren't actually a threat — that's manslaughter. Too bad neither the department or the Justice Department charged Robert Flodquist. They should have, in my opinion.
PEOPLE:Henry Selick (Nightmare Before Christmas, James And The Giant Peach, Slow Bob In The Lower Dimensions, Monkeybone) directed this, and wrote the screenplay based on the work of renowned author Neil Gaiman (Stardust, The Sandman, Marvel’s 1602 graphic novel, Neverwhere, Beowulf).
Starring the voices of Dakota Fanning (Push (2009), Sweet Home Alabama, Lilo & Stitch 2), Teri Hatcher (Lois & Clark, Desperate Housewives, Soapdish), Dawn French & Jennifer Saunders (Absolutely Fabulous, Shrek 2), Keith David (Goliath from Gargoyles, Spawn from the HBO Spawn animated series, The Transporter 2, Superhero Movie, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, The Chronicles Of Riddick, Princess Mononoke, Platoon). Good cast!
…And a song by They Might Be Giants! (They made 10 songs for this film, but 9/10 got cut when they decided to not make it a musical. Please direct me to where I can find this music!)
QUIRKS: An incredibly quirky, dark, creepy, gothic tale about an alternate reality reached via a secret “magic” passage in an old house. And everyone on “the other side” has buttons instead of eyeballs. I hear it doesn’t hurt too much to sew them in…
VISUALS: We’re talking about the director/animator of Nightmare Before Christmas and James And The Giant Peach. Visually, it is a masterpiece. It’s a shame we didn’t see this in high-def OR in 3-D. But when the next gen of 3D-ready televisions come out — this will be a top movie to obtain in a three-dimensional version.
MORALS: You may think your parents are lame… But at least they don’t want to sew buttons in your eyes.
POLITICS: I heard so many people complain “no, this isn’t for kids!” prior to seeing the movie. Methinks people shelter their kids way too much. Those sheltered kids will simply grow up to be similarly close-minded, making the same comments about a similar movie in the future…
BAD STUFF: This was more aimed at children than at an age-neutral crowd. The Nightmare Before Christmas felt more age-neutral than Coraline. Also, it seemed a bit rushed towards the end. Finding the eyes seemed a bit too easy at times. And yet, this is the longest stop-motion film to date!
It’s definitely not as good as Nightmare Before Christmas. I guess Tim Burton helps creep things up a bit more :)
CONCLUSION:Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8.5/10. Top animation by a top animator.
RECOMMENDATION: All goths will enjoy this. Any animation aficionados should greatly appreciate the stop-motion work put into this film. Even parents should be watching this with their kids — though it may creep them out. ( That’s good. It builds character.)
This unamerican, censoring piece of shit should be disbarred, savagely beaten, and dropped off to a country that doesn't have a free speech. As a judge, he is undermining the constitution all government officials should be protecting. Ewing Werlein is an unamerican asshole!
You mean the same Homer who dove in front of a baptism in order to make sure Bart didn't get baptized?
Sounds like The Vatican is just making more pathetic attempts to legitimize itself, and take focus off the fact that it is the world's largest organization of rapists and genocidists.
Maybe if they'd paid more attention, they'd have seen that the episode they are talking about flashed forward to a future where people are in bloody battles over disagreements in their Bart Simpson-based religion of the future. The whole point was that while we should be tolerant, in the end, religion existing makes people war. Of course The Vatican can't see the true point of things, it is mired in dogma so old it's not worth wiping your ass on.
You think that kid would have done this if he knew he would be taken away from his parents? Probably not. And the parents?! They birthed a snitch who turned in his own parents! I would never trust this kid in my life. Not as his parents, not as his friend. Nazi youth. 1984. And the commentators on this story think this is all just fine. Half of america still has a giant steel rod up its ass.
[IMDB link] [Netflix link] Watched in 720p, of course. With the lights out.
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