movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] Watched in our hotel room while vacationing at Cape Cod. Chatham Bars Inn doesn’t even have dvd players?! So you have to pay $14-$16 to watch movies?! And then they come out wrong: We had to cancel one because it was widescreen, cropped to 4:3, then re-stretched to widescreen so that everyone’s head was wider than it was tall. Then when we watched Wolfman, satellite transmission codes distractingly appeared on the screen. The front desk was unable to help in either situation. They credited the first movie back. The second movie, they SAID they’d credit back, but it ended up being billed to the room anyway. Not happy with their movie service at all. I would have much preferred to watch my Ren & Stimpy and The State DVDs, but we settled for watching The Wolfman, since it was something we were going to watch at home anyway.

PLOT SUMMARY: A wolf man. Uh DUH…

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Being a wolf sucks.

PEOPLE: The director of Jumanji and Honey I Shrunk The Kids meets the writers of Se7en and Road To Perdition. Starring Benicio Del Toro (Che, Sin City, 21 Grams, Traffic, Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas), Emily Blunt, and Anthony Hopkins (Hannibal Lecter). Benicio was a Wolfman-like character in his very first movie, Big Top Pee-Wee (“dog-faced boy”). Both movies were scored by Danny Elfman (of course).

QUIRKS: A remake of the original campy 1941 Wolfman movie.

VISUALS: 1800s. Werewolves. Old decrepit houses. Not much going on, but it’s quite different from what you see when you look out the window today :)

And the bear the gypsies had? Recycled animation from The Golden Compass. It was a polar bear. They colored it different and re-used it.

SOUNDTRACK: Howls were done by many “actors” such as KISS singer Gene Simmons and Van Halen singer David Lee Roth.

MORALS: No real moral to the story, but a big moral question that is asked is: If it’s okay to kill a beast, but not a man, how do you know where one begins, and the other ends?

POLITICS:

Insane asylums: Corrupt ways to jail people who don’t deserve being jailed. Institutions that use the shadow of society’s apathy to hide their torturous methods. Still true today.

Gun control: Bad. They used the mere threat of a repeating rifle [without actually having one] to ward off an angry mob. Property owners’ rights first; the right to self-defense first.

Gypsies: Not so bad, really.

GOOD STUFF: Modern special effects give us one of the more realistic werewolf transformations.

BAD STUFF: It felt kind of rushed at the end. I was surprised when the climax came as fast as it did. This may alternately be that the beginning half was far slower than the ending half. Basically: Pacing problems. It seems to drag its feet, then suddenly go into a sprint.

Also, from the description of the missing scenes, the director’s cut would have been better. I hate theatrical / non-director cuts. Yet another reason why I prefer watching movies at home.

CONCLUSION: Nothing spectacular, but still a cut above generic. There haven’t been as many werewolf movies in the past decade, as compared to the 1980s, so it’s kind of nice to see one again.

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.1/10, Netflix: 3.1/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.3/5 stars).

RECOMMENDATION: Werewolf fans watch this, everyone else skip this.

MOVIE QUOTE: “I am what they say I am… I’m a monster.”

COINCIDENCES: (real life) Hours after Chase told me what a repeating rifle was while playing Bang, a repeating rifle threat is issued in the movie we watch.

FRIENDS’ RATINGS:

iDRMRSR: “I thought it was a waste of time, film, and Anthony Hopkins.”

Suds Pshaw: “I enjoyed it — still Like the original better. An American Werewolf in London, The Wolfman (original) and Wolf are my top three werewolf flicks.”

Matt G (Evan’s brother): “Sucked….”

Mood: good
Music: Slayer – Aggressive Perfector