movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] Watched in 720p, of course. With the lights out.

PLOT SUMMARY: Scary shit.

LIMERICK REVIEW: There once was a haunted chick named Katie,
whose life was weirder than an episode of O’Grady.
Her boyfriend Micah was a douchebag–
I even read it on his damn name tag.
I wish people would stop saying Katie’s weighty.

HAIKU REVIEW: Demons fucking suck.
Get out of your fucking house!
For fucks sake, damnit!

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Stubborn boyfriend incites demon to possess his girlfriend.

PEOPLE: Written, directed, and starring nobody who’s really done much of anything else. The 2 main characters were paid $500.

QUIRKS: Shot in 10 days on a mere $11K-15K budget that turned into a $9M profit in 1 weekend, despite playing at less than 200 theaters.

It’s done in “handheld / found video / camcorder” style, like Blair Witch and Cloverfield.

It’s about being haunted by a demon. Someone said that if you believe in that stuff, this movie is scary, and if you don’t, it isn’t. I think that is an incorrect assessment. I don’t believe in this existence of that kind of stuff, but at the same time I don’t believe in faith, and don’t have 100% faith that I’m right about that. Part of how this movie was scary was because it showed a scenario whereby *I* could be convinced that that stuff was real. If it was me, I would have gotten the hell out of that house!

The theatrical cut is probably the best cut, but know that there are 3 different endings. Read IMDB‘s alternate verisons carefully — AFTER watching the movie. They are full of spoilers.

VISUALS: Camcorder shakiness. Not that that bugs me.

SOUNDTRACK: If you have a powerful subwoofer, it definitely enhances the various rumbles.

MORALS: If there’s a fucking demon involved, and you’ve proven it… For chrissakes, take the damn thing seriously and listen to your fucking girlfriend. DOUCHEBAG.

BAD STUFF: Micah was a douchebag.

They should have turned their lights on. I’d have SLEPT with my lights on if I were them. (I did for the first 8 years of my life anyway…)

Carolyn says (some spoilers ahead): “It was creepy, but it had some flaws.. like how they waited so long to call the demonologist.. I think the ‘original’ ending [with the police] sounds like the best ending. [I don’t! I think the theatrical sounds best. This discussion here spells out pretty much exactly what I think -Clint] It had a good creep factor, and I was definitely nervous… So that would be 5 star… But most of it was just watching time lapse while they slept [Not true! -Clint]… and then some creepy parts.. And it was annoying how the guy was refusing to call the demonologist… what was his problem with that? It’s like, if he didn’t want to call the demonologist because he didn’t believe the stuff was a demon, I can understand that… but he did admit there were strange things going on, but “he wanted to take care of it himself”… I guess that was a good struggle… and she’s like “Forget you, you’re powerless, I’m calling in the experts” but it was too late..Her being dragged down the hall was fucked up.”
Carolyn brings up some interesting points… But I think Micah was stubborn enough to believe he could actually deal with a demon himself. After all, he was a non-believer, so he probably equated it with something along the lines of a raccoon (instead of, say, a tiger).

CONCLUSION: Freakin’ terrifying. I don’t even believe in that kind of stuff–so realistic depictions work best for me. This sure did. Adrenal rush!!!!

Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.9/10, Netflix: 3.4/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.2/5 stars..WRONG!).

RECOMMENDATION: Watch this IN YOUR OWN HOME, in the dark. Not in the theatre. There’s no way this would be as scary with 100 other people around and making noise. It’s scary when you hear a sound, aren’t sure if it’s your house’s 7.1 rear surround speakers or the house in the movie, and then have to walk around and sleep in said house afterward.

SIMILAR MOVIES: Blair Witch Project, Quarantine, Cloverfield.

MOVIE QUOTE: Micah: What if we just get this Ouija board and we find out what it wants and then we give it what it wants? Then it’s gone.
The Psychic: Because what it probably wants is Katie.

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Ian: 4/5 stars.

I also had several facebook friends talk about how it scared them – Rose, Chris Williams, Amy Moore, etc. There were people who commented in response that they didn’t think much of it, but those people weren’t my friends. My FRIENDS all had good things to say about it.

But then a weird thing happened. Paranormal Activity 2 came out. All of a sudden, a bunch of people said that they hated Paranormal Activity 1. Where the hell were they back when Paranormal Activity 1 was a fresh movie? I heard NONE of the bad criticism about this film until the sequel came out. Do I smell sheep? Or is there some psychological factor? Do people keep their bad opinions to themselves, but then when a sequel comes out, it pushes them over the edge enough to complain about it?

Another review HERE.

This is hilarious if you’ve already watched it — I’m not sure it would be funny if you haven’t:

Mood: inobservant
Music: Kreator – Renewal