movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PEOPLE: From the director of Die Hard, Predator, and Red October (John McTiernan), co-written by one of the writers for the 2nd and 3rd X-Men movies… Comes a movie starring starring Arnold Schwarzenneger both as a character *and* as himself. Also starring annoying kid Austin O’Brien (who managed to later be in 4 episodes of Touched By An Angel).

Also Art Carney’s last movie. (aka Ed Norton from the hilarious 1950s sitcom The Honeymooners, which begat The Flintstones which begat The Simpsons which begat Family Guy which begat American Dad). It was kind of a fitting last movie for him. There was even a tiny role for Tina Turner. Also: Mercedes Ruehl (The Fisher King, Crazy People, Married To The Mob). And when you see Maria Shriver — remember she had to swallow her vomit on live television. It’s just nice to think about.

But mostly it’s just Ahhhnold and the annoying kid.

QUIRKS: An incredibly quirky movie about movies in general, and a magic ticket that lets you travel into a movie.

They pull out every action movie cliche imaginably possible. And they do it as cornily as possible. Seriously… I can hardly think of a more corny movie in my life.

They even sent a rocket into space with an advertisement painted on the side, just to be the “first movie to advertise from space”. And it still took us 16 yrs to watch it. haha.

VISUALS: There are a few neat visuals with going from one world to another, but the movie is mostly standard action movie special effects. Gratuitous explosions, gunshots, etc.

SOUNDTRACK: Megadeth?!?! Really?? And Alice In Chains, Anthrax, Cypress Hill, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Queensryche, Def Leppard, Tesla, & Fishbone. Kind of surprised by that.

BAD STUFF: PAIIIIINFULLY corny. I mean, jesus. Talk about sugar-coated. Having a kid as the main character is bad enough, but they made it even worse. The corniness hurt at times, but we also realized it was somewhat intentional, as a parody of the action movie genre.

CONCLUSION: This was an ***incredibly*** corny parody of action movies… But that was intentional, so you can’t completely fault it for it. Not a great movie, but certainly interesting. Way too much heart, though. Really, it was so corny it burned my brain at times.

RATINGS: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10 stars. Carolyn said she was tempted to say 2.5/5 stars. We liked it, but it also hurt at the same time.

RECOMMENDATION: I wouldn’t really recommend this, per se. If you have a kid next to you, really like Schwarzeneggar, or are an action movie buff… You *might* enjoy this. Or you might vomit from having so much heart shoved down your throat. Hard to say.

MOVIE QUOTE: Nick: There are lots of things worse than movies: politicians, wars, forest fires, famine, plague, sickness, pain, warts, politicians…
Jack Slater: You already mentioned them.
Nick: I know I did. They are twice as bad as anything else.

… And then Jack Slater (Ahhnold) went on to become governor of California! Someone should play this clip back to him!

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Jordan hated it. I think my mom saw it in the theatres and liked it.

Music: KMFDM – Money