movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] *Watched in HD.

LIMERICK REVIEW: There once was a girl named Camille
Who couldn’t control how she feels.
In love with an ex-convict
who acted like an angry hick.
But were all of these events even real?

HAIKU REVIEW: Some boyfriends are dicks.
Especially parolees.
But all things can change.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Rotting corpse leads to necrophilia, group hallucinations, and cruelty to animals.

PEOPLE: James Franco (Milk, Saul from Pineapple Express, Harry Osborn/Goblin from Spider-Man 1-3, Freaks & Geeks) as the emotionally repressed parolee who is tired of hearing his girlfriend yammer all the time. Sienna Miller (G.I. Joe the movie, Stardust) as the yammering girlfriend. David Carradine (RIP) (Kill Bill, Epic Movie, Dead & Breakfast, Kung Fu) as the strange cowboy. Scott Glenn (The Bourne Ultimatum, Training Day, The Hunt For Red October, Backdraft) as the “good cop” parole officer/sheriff. Ed Lauter (Cujo, Talladega Nights) as the “bad cop” sheriff.

QUIRKS: A surreal romance story about a newlywed couple’s quest (yes, it’s a quest) to get to Niagra Falls. He is an ex-convict who married his parole officer’s niece. She is a sweet talkative blonde who runs into some serious problems of her own once their honeymoon begins. But nothing is going to stop her from getting to Niagara falls. [highlight for spoilers] “Not even death.”

This movie is a surreal romance adventure. Quite surreal. We were, at times, not sure if what was being shown on the screen was “real” and really happening. Things are depicted, for the most part (colored horses aside) in a realistic fashion. But what is happening CANNOT BE HAPPENING. And then there’s the end. Wowie.

Based on a book, The Lady Of The Camellias, by Alexandre Dumas, fils, the son of the more-known Alexandre Dumas who wrote The Count Of Monte Cristo.

MORALS: It’s never too late to stop treating your wife like shit. [highlight for spoilers] Even when she’s dead.

POLITICS: Cops sure like to shoot first and ask questions later. But anyone reading my blog would probably know that already.

BAD STUFF: It’s billed as an “Adventure/Comedy/Drama/Romance”, but I would say it’s more of a “Romance/Adventure/Drama/Comedy”. Considering comedy is my favorite genre, and that I like adventure better than romance and drama… This is not quite the exact genre I like. But the surrealism helped make this slightly less typical than most romantic adventures.

And it has way too much heart for many people. Even for me, but the surrealism saved it. Quotes I’ve read about this movie say things like “trite, saccharin and downright appalling sham of a film”. A lot of people hate this.

CONCLUSION: This was a good surreal romantic adventure. A typical romance movie with atypical elements. The viewer is definitely manipulated with obvious strings, but I try not to look for those :) In the end, it had too much bleeding heart in it for us NOT to really like it, even if it was a bit emotionally obvious. This is a cut or two above most romantic adventure movies.

RATINGS: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10. Strings successfully pulled!

RECOMMENDATION: If you can stomach a romantic adventure overflowing with “heart”, this might be a good choice for watching with your lover. The surreal touches here definitely add to the magic.

SIMILAR MOVIES: [highlight for spoilers] I like to say Corpse Bride as a joke!

COINCIDENCES: 1) (Camille, District 9) 2 movies in 2 nights with someone [highlight for spoilers] losing part of their fingertip/nail.
2) (Camille, Jawbreaker) 2 movies in the same night with Polaroid cameras AND [highlight for spoilers] a dead person swimming.

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: None, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that if Ian saw this he would hate it. But I could be wrong. He’s very unpredictable compared to me :)

Mood: really. ridiculous.
Music: KMFDM – D.I.Y.