movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] I think we picked this up based on the summary that says “a modern-day couple discovers there’s room for a 3rd person in their marriage in this unusual romantic comedy”. Which made it sound like an unconventional romantic comedy movie based on unconventional relationship dynamics, like the movie Splendor. Boy was that summary misleading…

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Man fucks best friend’s wife, leading to minor complications.

PEOPLE: The main stars are Oscar-nominee Meg Tilly (this movie killed her career), Eric Stoltz (The Honeymooners, teacher who receives a student blowjob in The Rules Of Attraction, Hi-Life, Lance from Pulp Fiction, a stoner from Fast Times At Ridgemont High, and Daniel Graystone from Caprica), and Craig Sheffer (One Tree Hill).

With smaller roles by Quenton Tarantino (who was AWESOME, with an incredible rant about how Top Gun was an incredibly subversive movie about coming over to the homosexual side), Parker Posey (as a party girl… 3 movies later she would be in a movie called Party Girl), Joey Lauren Adams (the sometimes-lesbian Alyssa from Chasing Amy/Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Gwen from Mallrats, Simone Kerr from Dazed And Confused, Christina from the Coneheads movie, Catt from Stripperella, and even 3 episodes of Married With Children, and wrote the songs she sung in the movie), Vanessa Angel (the hot chick created in the Weird Science series that was always on before Duckman in the 1990s), Susan Traylor, Dean Cameron (Hi-Life), Tegan West (Hamburger Hill.. my first date movie!), and Todd Field (Eyes Wide Shut, Twister, and Ol’ Drippy from Aqua Teen Hunger Force).

QUIRKS: Poker. Relationships. Strange, abrupt pacing at the beginning… And a big party at the end. This movie is about relationship-based social dynamics. In short: A love triangle.

The biggest quirk, however, is that 6 different writers (Duane Dell’Amico, Roger Hedden, Neal Jimenez, Joe Keenan, Rory Kelly, Michael Steinberg) wrote the 6 different scenes that comprise the movie. Which explains things.

MORALS: You probably shouldn’t sleep with your best friend’s wife. Probably.

BAD STUFF: The ending.

CONCLUSION: This movie was extremely interesting, feeling like a 4/5 star, 8/10 movie. It had interesting herky-jerky pacing with scenes abruptly stopping, cutting to silent words on the screen, and then to going to a completely new setting. This is probably because they had 6 writers write 6 scenes. We didn’t know this when we were watching, and the pacing actually made things really interesting.

But then at the end, during the last third, it just kind of piddled out. Carolyn said “they just left their mess on the floor”. Things weren’t really resolved well. The promise of something interesting happened wasn’t really fulfilled. Everyone ends up going about their default ways, as if nothing happened — much like the movie Wasted (not that this movie was anything like it).

This poor ending actually subtracted from how good the first 2/3rds were, and made the entire movie more pointless than it could have been. Whoever wrote the last scene or two pretty much ruined what could have been a good film.

RATINGS: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: Clint: 6/10, Carolyn: 7/10.

RECOMMENDATION: Still an interesting movie to deal with the contingency of your wife fucking your best friend, as well as exploring what a film is like when 6 different people write 6 different scenes. Possibly interesting, but this isn’t a movie we’d highly recommend. The Top Gun rant is high quality though! It might be worth watching just to see that scene. But we would recommend Splendor instead.

MOVIE QUOTE: Sid (Quenton Tarantino): You want subversion on a massive level. You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? Top Gun.
Duane: Oh, come on.
Sid (Quenton Tarantino): Top Gun is fucking great. What is Top Gun? You think it’s a story about a bunch of fighter pilots.
Duane: It’s about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around.
Sid (Quenton Tarantino): It is a story about a man’s struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man. You’ve got Maverick, all right? He’s on the edge, man. He’s right on the fucking line, all right? And you’ve got Iceman, and all his crew. They’re gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they’re saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.
Duane: What about Kelly McGillis?
Sid (Quenton Tarantino): Kelly McGillis, she’s heterosexuality. She’s saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They’re saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what’s going on throughout that whole movie… He goes to her house, all right? It looks like they’re going to have sex, you know, they’re just kind of sitting back, he’s takin’ a shower and everything. They don’t have sex. He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. She’s like, “What the fuck, what the fuck is going on here?” Next scene, next scene you see her, she’s in the elevator, she is dressed like a guy. She’s got the cap on, she’s got the aviator glasses, she’s wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. She is, okay, this is how I gotta get this guy, this guy’s going towards the gay way, I gotta bring him back, I gotta bring him back from the gay way, so I’ll do that through subterfuge, I’m gonna dress like a man. All right? […] All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they’re beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it’s over, and they fucking land, and Iceman’s been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he’s got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They’re all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, “Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!” And what does Maverick say? “You can ride mine!” Swordfight! Swordfight! Fuckin’ A, man! [Tarantino and Duane go into ridiculous simulated “swordfighting”.]
[Note: the actual end quote of Top Gun was “you can be my wingman any time”…They changed it for humorous effect.]

COINCIDENCES: (real life, Sleep With Me) Unintentionally watched a movie with a wedding rehearsal/wedding the day before going to a wedding rehearsal/wedding.
(Sex Pot, Sleep With Me) Two movies in the same week that had guys who had sex with their sister.

Mood: full
Music: KMFDM – Revolution