movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] Oops!!! Wrong movie!!! We had meant to watch the first Dukes Of Hazzard movie — from 2005 — with Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke, Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg and Johnny Knoxville as Luke. Our bad.

HAIKU REVIEW: Redneck miscreants
fight against prohibition
and corrupt lawmen.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Vigilante redneck drug dealers defeat oppressive redneck mayor.

PEOPLE: Bo & Luke played by Jonathan Bennett (Mean Girls, and Van Wilder from Van Wilder:Freshman Year) and Randy Wayne. Daisy Duke played by April Scott (what a body!). Cooter played by Joel Moore (Avatar, Grandma’s Boy). Roscoe P. Coltrane played by Harland Williams (Buckley from Slacker Cats, Mike from Gary & Mike, Sorority Boys, Half Baked, Wag The Dog, Dumb & Dumber). Willie Nelson reprises his role as Uncle Jesse. Cooter is played by Joel Moore (Avatar, Grandma’s Boy, Dodgeball:A True Underdog Story). Boss Hogg is played by Christopher McDonald (Fanboys, Superhero Movie, Tappy Tibbons from Requiem For A Dream, Stevo’s Dad from SLC Punk!, Happy Gilmore, Fatal Instinct, Thelma & Louise, and Jor-El from a few episodes of the 1990s Superman animated series). Boss Hogg’s wife is played by Sherilyn Fenn, who sadly isn’t looking nearly as good as in her Twin Peaks heyday.

QUIRKS: A redneck 70s/80s TV show made into a movie. Recipe for disaster, right?

VISUALS: Redneck girls, cars, and dirt.

MORALS: The law isn’t in the right. People in power are usually corrupt assholes.

POLITICS: Prohibitions don’t work; the will of the people typically prevails.

BAD STUFF: It’s a remake about a 70s/80s show about rednecks, cars, and dirt. And not just that: It’s the sequel to a remake. A prequel origin story, actually. Considering most people said Dukes Of Hazzard 1 (2005) was an awful movie… And this is a sequel… Then this might actually be worse than the movie everyone says is awful! The problem is that we accidentally watched DoH2 before watching DoH1. D’oh.

CONCLUSION: This was a generic pass of a movie for us, but it got bonus points for being highly nostalgic, since we both watched the original Dukes Of Hazzard series religiously, like everyone else in our classes. We went in with ultra-low expectations, which really helped.

RATINGS: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10.

RECOMMENDATION: If you like the nostalgia of watching remakes of old TV shows, then you’ll be able to stand this. Just think of it as a modernized, movie-length episode of the original series.

MOVIE QUOTE: Daisy Duke: [about to paint a number on the General Lee] What’s your lucky number, Bo?
Bo Duke: Uh, one?

Mood: relief
Music: KMFDM – Vogue