movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] Fetching a mere 2.6/10 on IMDB, I thought I could buck popular opinion on this one. I was wrong.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Douchebags fail at copying mediocre college movies.

PEOPLE: Written by the talentless Joel Paul Reisig. Even the dvd-extra with 5 minutes of his stand-up comedy was AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL. And let’s not forget Scott Voshel, who co-wrote it, or Antonijs Prizevoits, who directed it.

At least they had some pseudo-realistic casting. Johnny Lechner, who plays “Fossil”, the 8th year senior — is actually in his 14th year of college, having racked up over 400 credit-hours. I can’t believe he found a 2nd movie to star in, and got on Letterman. Ugh.

Oh, they managed to snag Justin Isfeld (American Pie/2/Wedding) for this… But it’s not like we recognized him, or he made the movie any better.

QUIRKS: College. Beer. Trying not to graduate.

VISUALS: At least Sex Pot had a lot of gratuitous nudity! This barely had any!

MORALS: Don’t rush to graduate college. This would have been useful advice for me 12 years ago, but I already slowed myself down from 4 years to 5 years in order to not be separate from Carolyn for as much. And it paid off well.

BAD STUFF: Carolyn says: “Take all the bad parts of all the good college movies, and turn them into this shit.” That about sums it up. Poor characters, even more unlikable than your average mediocre college/teen comedy characters. Not enough girls, sex, parties, and drugs. A poorly defined plot. Poorly written jokes.

Then there are the technical faults: A nice hissing sound that started right before anybody talked, and stopped right after they talked. How friggin’ annoying.

CONCLUSION: This movie is so awful it’s hard to even follow. I believe we even fast forwarded through a couple of the montage scenes. Really, this was utter trash. I try watch every low-grade/National Lampoon/college comedy movie that exists, and this is pretty much the worst one I’ve ever seen in my life. This movie made Sex Pot look like Animal House.

RATINGS: Carolyn: Netflix: 1/5 stars, IMDB 2/10.
Clint: Netflix: 1/5 stars, IMDB 3/10.
Usually I’m smart enough to never watch movies that I’d rate this low!

RECOMMENDATION: STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS PIECE OF TRASH!

SIMILAR MOVIES: This tries to be similar to all the National Lampoon college movies. But while those are passable, this is an utter failure.

MOVIE QUOTE: Fossil: Do I look like an A+ student to you? I don’t even know where the fuck I slept last night.

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Nobody was unfortunate enough to have seen this. Try to keep it that way.

Mood: moodlessness
Music: KMFDM – Crazy Horses