July 2011

Jokes during music or movies can rely on someone hearing the joke, mentally scanning forward a bit in the song/movie & realizing how the joke would be funny BEFORE that specific part of the song/movie happens, causing the person you are telling the joke to to laugh at the punchline before it actually happens.

It is in this way that music and movies allows us to cast our jokes (& thus our *thoughts*, maaaan) into the fourth dimension — yet with immediate results.

It’s like fucking Back To the Future.



Dreamt I threw a party.

Britt was still married to Chuck (who was, in real life, black). Chuck brought (though I didn’t know this at the time, and thought they were party crashers) a black Muslim to my party, who brought several of his black Muslim friends. They made trouble, started messing things up, got fighty, and things almost turned into a mini-riot. Pushing. Shoving. Yelling.

It actually was bad enough that I went to get my weapons to make them leave my house and stop assaulting my friends. I couldn’t find my gun, so I came back with my $5 halberd-tip/battle axe (that I bought in real life at a yard sale), and a huge knife or club or something, telling them to get the hell out. I had to more or less end the party early and tell people to go home becaus it was a bit too much drama to have a party continue.

I didn’t even know how they crashed my party at the time.

I did a post-party email investigation the next day, where I found out it was Chuck who brought ’em. Apparently, one of the Muslim guys had a friend killed in a terrorist attack, so Chuck was trying to bring him to the party to do something nice for him, and it backfired really bad. I told Chuck not to bring them (or anybody else) again.

Very odd dream with tinges of xenophibia mixed with compassion, as I felt bad that the guy was a raging lunatic due to a friend of his being killed in a terror attack. Very weird.

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [IMDB link: Original series] [IMDB link: 1990s remake series I never knew existed] [Netflix link]

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Failed scientist almost causes earth to get conquered; gets covered in urine and feces.

PEOPLE: From the director of Lemony Snickets. Starring Will Ferrell (who surprised me by being *great* for this role), Danny McBride (The Foot Fist Way, Observe And Report, Pineapple Express, Fanboys, Superbad, Tropic Thunder), and Anna Friel. With the voice of Leonard Nimoy as The Zarn.

QUIRKS: Based on an incredibly cheesy, lame old TV series that I used to watch religiously as a kid. The series does NOT stand the test of time, so turning it into a comedy is actually quite logical. It’s too ridiculous to really take seriously, and throwing all seriousness out the window is actually an excellent move in this case. As was keeping Holly “my age”. She was a kid when I was a kid. Now she’s a hot woman in her 30s now that I’m in my 30s. Awesome. And no, they should not have used the original Holly. She’s too old now. [Many photos HERE.]

VISUALS: Finally, REAL special effects. No more clay dinosaur fights or Sleestack in obvious rubber suits!

SOUNDTRACK: I finally got to hear the original Summer Breeze by Seals & Crofts. I really only knew the Type O Negative version.

CONCLUSION: Never trust anyone in a tunic.

This movie is definitely better than most people are saying. I thought it was fantastic. People always bitch about any kind of remake or sequel, because it never lives up to their rose-tinted nostalgic memories. THE ORIGINAL SERIES WAS ACTUALLY REALLY AWFUL. Yes, those of us who were 7 years old in 1981 LOVED the show. The dinosaur battles were TEH AWESOME. However, the original series was clearly KIDDIE SHIT. NOT for adults. The dinosaurs were clay. The Sleestak — though they scared the shit out of me — were clearly just men in rubber suits. I’ve viewed original episodes in the last 2 yrs, and they SUCK SUCK SUCK.

By remaking this as a comedy, it no longer runs the risk of trying, and failing, to be a serious remake of something that no adult could ever consider serious in the first place. Science-fiction comedy is a great genre, and there just isn’t enough of it now that Futurama is canceled. Morphing Land Of The Lost into a comedy was a genius decision that completely saved this. It exceeded my expectations so much. Carolyn and I both rate this the same on IMDB, but she rates it one less star on Netflix — possibly because she never watched the original show.

There were tons of hilarious moments!!!!!!!!!!! The Fred Flinstone homage, touching the pylon and using it as a vocoder to sing Cher, the narcotic trip they go on, the Today Show appearance, the dinosaur urine. This “remake” basically spoofs the original series and everything that was wrong with it! EPIC WIN!

Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10. Science-fiction comedy is a great genre. (Futurama, anybody?)
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10. “I wasn’t expecting a comedy going in, but the second I saw Will Ferrell, I knew it was going to be funny.  And I was right. The Sleestak costumes weren’t all that in this movie either.  It had a very rubbery feel at one point when they had a closeup of a Sleestak foot lining up in a ceremony.”
The native public rating for this movie is Netflix: 3.0/5 stars (3.6/5 stars for people who rate like me), IMDB: 5.4/10.

RECOMMENDATION: See it. Just keep in mind this is a complete reboot into a comedy franchise, and is not at all serious. Incorrect expectations ruin remakes for a lot of people — don’t be one of them.

A good test that may determine if you would like this: Do you like most Will Ferrel movies?

MOVIE QUOTE: Dr. Rick Marshall: If you don’t make it, it’s your own damn “vault.” That’s a bitch slap of truth right there.

“I love you a million times more than Jesus loved the rest of humanity when he was on the cross…”

Zombie-related dream! A cross between The Walking Dead and Pontypool.

There was a big zombie crisis. Basically, there was red water and, I think, blue water. Or maybe it was bloody water. Whatever it was, it was highly infective. And it was all over the place. If you wanted to walk across a courtyard from building to building, and accidentally stepped in a red puddle, such that a drop of it hit your skin — you would  be taken over with zombie-rage in a matter of seconds. There might have been a video game aspect to this dream, because I think I was infected MANY times. So that would imply that I kept respawning.

EVEN THE DREAM RESPAWNED — In real life, I woke up when Carolyn went to work, told her I had zombie dreams, then went back to sleep and the dream picked up where it left off.

This dream was also slightly influenced by watching the movie Sucker Punch last night.

Anyway, the blue water/blood water also infected you like the red, but it didn’t send you into a homicidal rage.

At one point, we learned how to blend in with the zombies (like in The Walking Dead [or was that Dead Set?] when they covered themselves with rotting flesh to blend in). This definitely involved moaning, walking around aimlessly, and more or less pretending to be one of them. Smell was not addressed in my dream.

After awhile, things became slightly less chaotic. Like the movie Sucker Punch, we were in some sort of institution/building. I tried to direct people to this hidden ladder several rooms behind my grandfather’s bar in his house — this is something I’ve visited during many dreams in my life (and does not exist in real life).

Anyway, we soon found out that if you never spoke, the zombie outbreak didn’t happen to most people. Much like the movie Pontypool, where the virus had attached to language itself. So a lot of us were walking from room to room, but really keeping conversation at a minimum, or not at all. Things were looking up near the end, but the whole dream was still kind of disturbing.

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

  • So easy you can almost just start playing..

    It's a lot like bridge/spades/hearts, with 2 extra cards (valueless/notrump jester, allpowerful/greater-than-ace wizard) , except the number of cards dealt each round changes (starts at just 1 card, and increases each round), so you can't just card count the way you can in bridge.

    it's pretty sweet and quick, actually. But you have to predict how many tricks you will take in advance, or lose points. That's the rub.

    Cool card artwork, too, even though I don't care about that.

  • I've been using PowerMenu to meet this need for some 10 years, but PowerMenu doesn't work under Windows 7.

    Being able to minimize any task to the system tray ("notification area") is a MUST for taskbar real estate management! I have programs that open up 5 separate windows and squish my taskbar entries to tiny useless mouseover-only states — I'd much rather shove those in my tray.

    But I'm going to miss PowerMenu. It let you do this via taskbar-rightclick, and this program requires you to actually maximize the task, and right click the minimize icon. Much more work.

    And PowerMenu let you change transparency and priority for tasks too.

    So this barely counts as a PowerMenu replacement for me. I am frankly disappointed at how much less Hideit does than PowerMenu.

    But it'll have to do.

  • I always run my command-line in elevated/administrator mode.

    So programs tend to get run in this mode.

    GUESS WHAT? In windows 7, you can't drag files into certain programs in elevated mode. For instance, with VLC player, you can't drag videos into the window! It has to be run in non-elevated mode!

    But how to do this from an elevated command-line?

    The "start" command has an /elevated switch, but no /nonelevated switch.

    How dumb!

    This program, hstart.exe (with 32 and 64 bit versions), is like start, but it has a /NONELEVATED parameter.

    This totally fixed this problem — which had been bugging me on a daily basis ever since I installed Windows 7.

    It also has a /NOCONSOLE option to start something completely invisibly.

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] As of writing this review, this movie is in the IMDB Top 250 as the 191th highest rated movie ever (8.1/10).

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Pedophile old man falls in love with little girl.

PEOPLE: From the director of Se7en, and the writer of The Postman, comes a movie starring Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton.

QUIRKS: Reverse aging, life, and love. Loosely based on an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story.

VISUALS: Incredible makeup jobs. Making an “80-year-old looking 7-year-old” is no easy task.

MORALS: It sucks to be alone. It sucks even more when a medical condition forces you to be alone your entire life. Connecting with other people is hard — and two people aren’t always going to be the right people for each other.

BAD STUFF: Some people would complain about the length, but I think longer movies tell more complete stories. Some people think it goes out of its way to manipulate you too much, but I think that’s kind of the point of storytelling: To manipulate. Some people think it’s too… sappy. Well, it IS a drama about life and love. Live and love *in real life* are frickin’ sappy, which is why I usually stick to comedy, horror, sci-fi, and fantasy. Yes, this is a sappy movie. But in the end, my biggest complaint about this is simply its genre: Drama.

CONCLUSION: Although drama is our least favorite genre, the reverse-aging gimmick made this interesting enough for us to bother trying this out. And we liked it! A touching story. Yes, it’s a bit heavy-handed. And long. But those aspects don’t detract from us. It was an interesting, dramatic, kind of sad exploration into the solitary life of one cursed with reverse aging.

Still liked this better than most movies… And certainly most dramas.

Clint: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
The native public rating for this movie is Netflix: 3.7/5 stars (3.8/5 stars for people who rate like me), IMDB: 8.1/10 (Top 250: #191).

RECOMMENDATION: If you don’t mind sappy dramas… This movie has a unique gimmick, and many touching moments.

SIMILAR MOVIES: I haven’t seen Forrest Gump, but I think people who liked that tend to like this.


1) “Your life is defined by its opportunities… even the ones you miss.”

2) “For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it.”

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Dad, Christian, and Benj really liked it. Metinee liked it. Parthena, Ian, and Eric M didn’t like it. Ian‘s DCist review is posted HERE. I don’t agree with his reasons at all, but it is a well-stated review.

PARTHENA’S THOUGHTS: I found 80% of the movie to be extremely slow-paced, dull, and simply uninteresting. They took a very interesting premise but did almost nothing unique with it. Ie, watching him grow from older to younger didn’t seem to affect his behavior or give him any unique insights about life..I think they could made it a lot more philosophically interesting. The most interesting part by far, for me, was the last 15 minutes…but you had to sit through a 2.5 hour movie to get there! (more…)

I was somewhere alone in the Chrysler. I wanted to turn around. I was in a cul de sac. I kinda shoulda relized it was a dream, because it doesn’t take a 2 point turn to turn around in a cul de sac. But that’s exactly what I did.

One quarter of the cul de sac adjoined a steep hill. So of course I backed my car toward that corner. My back left tire went over the edge of the street — there was apparently no curb. Frustrated, I started to accelerate, when I realized my car was actually going backward regardless of me accelerating.

I realized I probably had about 3 seconds to decide whether to bail out of my car, or not. I tried to save it for another 2 seconds or so, then bailed out. Bailing out hurt a bit, but it wasn’t that bad.

I then saw the Chrysler continue to fall down the hill, rolling a good 3 or 4 times. I was happy to not be in it. But sad that I had just totaled another car just months after receiving it as an awesome gift from my parents.

For some reason I didn’t call anybody, either. I just let it sit there for a few days.

Meanwhile, Brushwood sent me a temporary 2-week employment offer.

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Not available on Netflix, suckas!] [Wikpedia link] [Official site] [Hulu link] [Youtube channel by the creators — includes a few webisodes] [Facebook link]

PLOT SUMMARY: The dating world is total fucking craziness like you would not imagine.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Daters date psychopaths.

PEOPLE: This is Canadian, so for the most part I haven’t heard of any of the writers, directors, or voice actors.

However, one of the writers, Frank Van Keekan, has written on 20 episodes of Kids In The Hall (but also 21 episodes of Mad About You), so that’s notable. There’s a lot of talent overlap between this show and a show called Billable Hours.

Mark is voiced by Fab Filippo, who was in 10 eps of Queer As Folk, and the old MTV series Undressed, and 3 eps of the Buffy series. Also a candy striper in Canadian Bacon (1995).

Sam (a girl) is voiced by Lauren Ash, who was a waitress in the good-but-not-great movie Camille, and is Holly in Lars And The Real Girl (2007) (a movie I wanted to want to watch, but simply could not find myself interested enough).

Guest voices include the girl who played Shilo in Repo! The Genetic Opera, someone who was a teacher in How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days and a reporter in Dawn Of The Dead (2004), someone from Degrassi:TNG and who voiced Voodoo in the WildC.A.T.S animated 1990s series, and tons of other lesser-known TV actors.

QUIRKS: Adult animation comedy. Dating with insane people!

VISUALS: Flash animation, like most newer cartoons that are based more around the humor, dialog, and writing than animation style. The chicks are definitely hot.

And oh, there’s a pet raccoon that is an occasional character.

MORALS: Don’t date crazy people.

POLITICS: None whatsoever.


Unbridled adult humor.

Crazy situations that I’ve never seen in any show ever. In one episode, a character has a threesome with a [highlight for spoilers] ventriloquist AND her puppet. And guess which of the two he liked better? LOL.

Basically, this series is full of a bunch of crazy women and men. Since 3 of the 4 main characters are men, 75% of those dated in the series are women, so most of the crazy people are women. Imagine dating a cop who beats the fuck out of people so she can give you a free HDTV. These are some of the most extreme, insane dating situations I’ve ever seen.

Having not really dated much in my entire life (maybe 4-5 girls outside of Carolyn, with a total relationship time of perhaps 6 months total between them) makes these stories that much more intriguing. Probably also why I enjoy college sex comedies: I was already hooked up with the lovely Carolyn before I got to college, and don’t really know what it’s like to be a single adult.


Bad title.

Worse theme song.

Some of the characters are annoying. (But they are supposed to be. That’s how comedy works.)

Everyone is either a slut, or horny, so religionists and prudes might not like that aspect.

Why can’t I find episodes #14-#26?!?!?!?!

CONCLUSION: Adult cartoons are underrepresented, and most people probably don’t even know this one exists, because it’s from Canada. The entire series can be watched in 9 hours or so, and it’s totally worth it. Laughed hard, and laughed a lot. Extreme dating situations. Dating a bad cop, a werewolf, a ventriloquist who involves her dummy in…things, a porn star who considers herself a virgin because she only has sex in porno movies. I wish more shows like this were out. As it stands, I can’t watch GOOD adult animation on a nightly basis, because there’s not enough in existence. So I’m always happy to find a relatively unknown cartoon that will entertain us for a few nights. And this most definitely succeeded.

Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8.4/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7.6/10. “I thought it was good, but not epic.”

The native public rating for this series on imdb is: 4.6/10! Ouuuch! What the fuck? There’s no reason for the rating to be this low! However, 26% rate it 10/10, 49% rate it at least 9/10, and over 50% rate it at least 7/10… So it’s the haters that are really dragging this down.

The series is rated highest (9.0/10) by young females (18-29), which I find puzzling. Why do the young males only rate it 6.1/10? Is it perhaps that they are dating, and don’t need the additional frustration of watching failed dating on TV? So maybe married people would like this more? But wait! Overall, people aged 30-44 only rated this 3.6/10! Very weird demographics on this one!

RECOMMENDATION: If you’re not a hater, and can’t get enough adult cartoons, this one is far more out there than King Of The Hill! Check it out on Hulu!

SIMILAR CARTOONS: Producing Parker, if only because it’s a currently-airing adult animation Flash-animated Canadian cartoon in its 2nd season.

QUOTES: Tons of good dialog in this series, though IMDB doesn’t list any for me to paste here.


(The Dating Guy #6, and whatever we watched after it) 2 videos in a row with painting someone in the nude.
(The Dating Guy #12, Bob’s Burgers #6) 2 cartoons in a row mentioning pesto.

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Nobody’s seen this — but we did watch an episode with Rev. Panik when he visited us. We all laughed, but it probably wasn’t an episode from the better half.

Here’s a webisode:

Which would you rather do? Trick question, you can do them both.


I hit 900,000 views around 5/13/2011 (last day of my predicted 30-day window–victory! barely!).
I hit 800,000 on 8/28/2010. (23 days after my predicted 30-day window).
I hit 700,000 on 1/21/2010
. (17 days before my predicted 30-day window).
I hit 600,000 on 7/7/2009. (within 1 week of vague “June” prediction–victory!).
I hit 500,000 on 12/4/2008. (no prediction)
I hit 400,000 on 5/24/2008. (27 days past prediction)
I hit 300,000 on 2/13/2008. (1 day before prediction–victory!)

300K-400K took 3.5 months,
400K-500K took 6 months,
500K-600K took 7 months,
600K-700K took 6 months.
700K-800K took 7.5 months.
800K-900K took 7.5 months.

This last 100,000 was as slow as the previous. The big decline started around when I started reviewing every movie I watched (haha). Or maybe Google lowered my rank. At this rate , 900K-1M will take another 7.5 months. That would put my prediction for hit #1,000,000 at around 3/14/2012 plus or minus 15 days. We’ll see what happens. I’ve been playing this game for awhile, but it’s getting harder to predict the future!

Monthly blog stats
^older snapshot of monthly blog stats – 15,836 is for Jan, 2009
8/2010 snapshot below:

remember when my blog was more popular? ;)

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] This movie has been strongly recommended to me by several people for a long time. (Apparently since I’m into politics, I’m supposed to automatically love any political movie.)

PLOT SUMMARY: A fake war is launched in order to win an election.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Karl Rove-like figure exploits and kills producer to win election .

PEOPLE: Dustin Hoffman (again?! We just saw him in the movie Volcano), Robert De Niro, Anne Heche (who we also just saw in the movie Volcano), Denis Leary, Willie Nelson, Kirsten Dunst (barely), William H. Macy…. I didn’t remember Harland Williams, but he was in Slacker Cats so now I’m noticing his name in all the movies I watch.

QUIRKS: Political comedy. Fake wars. Media manipulation. This movie hits pretty close to home.

SOUNDTRACK: Willie Nelson, and… Huey Lewis?!?!?!

MORALS: Politics and media are both deceptive. Top-down media can’t be trusted, which is why the new, grassroots, bottom-up media (the blogosphere, twitter, citizen journalists) is actually better than the central authority of top-down media where almost every newspaper tells the same story.

POLITICS: War gains support. And moronic voters fall for it. And those who don’t vote? They don’t matter.

BAD STUFF: It could have been more enjoyable. More funny. More poignant.

CONCLUSION: Pretty damn awesomely twisted, but just not as enjoyable as we had hoped. Political satire can be funnier than this. *Most* comedies are funnier than this. It was still a great gimmick to explore — but, much like Lord Of War, I didn’t like this nearly as much as people told me I would.

Clint: Netflix: 3+/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10. I say “3+” because, while I’m rating it 3 stars, there were definitely 4-star parts–just not enough to elevate this to a 4-star movie. I’m thinking 3.25ish.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10.
The native public rating for this movie is Netflix: 3.4/5 stars, IMDB: 7.0/10. Seems my rating is almost exactly the average rating.

RECOMMENDATION: If you’re into politics, or want to see good examples of media manipulation… This is worth checking out. But don’t check it out for its comedy prowess.

SIMILAR MOVIES: Bob Roberts, a 1992 movie about Christian folk singer politicians — sort of reminded me of the shallow manipulations politics use to gain support among the masses. But the most similar “movie” to Wag The Dog is real life. Bill Clinton’s sex scanadal which was followed by threatening military action against Iraq; George W. Bush’s War On Terror, which didn’t even start until several years after this movie came out; and Barack Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize while sending more troops to Afghanistan (they talked about nominating the president in this movie for a peace prize after having the fake war).


1) Stanley Motss: What did television ever do to you?
Winifred Ames: It destroyed the electoral process

2) Conrad ‘Connie’ Brean: What’s the thing people remember about the Gulf War? A bomb falling down a chimney. Let me tell you something: I was in the building where we filmed that with a 10-inch model made out of Legos.
Stanley Motss: Is that true?
Conrad ‘Connie’ Brean: Who the hell’s to say?

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Brent & Christian loved it. Ian, Dad, Glen, & Metinee liked it. Benj didn’t like it.


This drema made little sense to me…

Was snowed in at my paternal grandparents’ old house, except it was X-Day, except it was kind of Harry Potter-ish as well. I was in there for a week. It was huge. They had a concert hall on another floor. A mall full of pinks. I could have seen, I think, The Doors, but I declined and regretted not going. Somehow everyone else was able to get to the mall like normal, but me and the SubGenii were snowed in. For a week. I was also helping form a new constitution, where the SubGenii would have 3 sub-leaders (academic leader, event leader, diplomatic leader), with one main leader who would help make big decisions but not interfere with the other 3 leaders’ decisions. I dunno. I was woken up by Carolyn and cats so this is actually a combination of several dreams.

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

More OZ-related dreams. Dreamed I was in prison. There was a big assembly. I was getting into trouble for some reason. I think I was all drugged out and collapsing on the ground. Somehow I decided that when I got out, I was definitely going to Mexico. Fuck this country, I thought in the dream. I told Carolyn too. No clue how that worked out, what with me being in prison and all. 2nd prison-related dream due to watching 2 hours of OZ before bedtime every night.

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

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