July 2011

Jokes during music or movies can rely on someone hearing the joke, mentally scanning forward a bit in the song/movie & realizing how the joke would be funny BEFORE that specific part of the song/movie happens, causing the person you are telling the joke to to laugh at the punchline before it actually happens.

It is in this way that music and movies allows us to cast our jokes (& thus our *thoughts*, maaaan) into the fourth dimension — yet with immediate results.

It’s like fucking Back To the Future.



Dreamt I threw a party.

Britt was still married to Chuck (who was, in real life, black). Chuck brought (though I didn’t know this at the time, and thought they were party crashers) a black Muslim to my party, who brought several of his black Muslim friends. They made trouble, started messing things up, got fighty, and things almost turned into a mini-riot. Pushing. Shoving. Yelling.

It actually was bad enough that I went to get my weapons to make them leave my house and stop assaulting my friends. I couldn’t find my gun, so I came back with my $5 halberd-tip/battle axe (that I bought in real life at a yard sale), and a huge knife or club or something, telling them to get the hell out. I had to more or less end the party early and tell people to go home becaus it was a bit too much drama to have a party continue.

I didn’t even know how they crashed my party at the time.

I did a post-party email investigation the next day, where I found out it was Chuck who brought ’em. Apparently, one of the Muslim guys had a friend killed in a terrorist attack, so Chuck was trying to bring him to the party to do something nice for him, and it backfired really bad. I told Chuck not to bring them (or anybody else) again.

Very odd dream with tinges of xenophibia mixed with compassion, as I felt bad that the guy was a raging lunatic due to a friend of his being killed in a terror attack. Very weird.

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [IMDB link: Original series] [IMDB link: 1990s remake series I never knew existed] [Netflix link]

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Failed scientist almost causes earth to get conquered; gets covered in urine and feces.

PEOPLE: From the director of Lemony Snickets. Starring Will Ferrell (who surprised me by being *great* for this role), Danny McBride (The Foot Fist Way, Observe And Report, Pineapple Express, Fanboys, Superbad, Tropic Thunder), and Anna Friel. With the voice of Leonard Nimoy as The Zarn.

QUIRKS: Based on an incredibly cheesy, lame old TV series that I used to watch religiously as a kid. The series does NOT stand the test of time, so turning it into a comedy is actually quite logical. It’s too ridiculous to really take seriously, and throwing all seriousness out the window is actually an excellent move in this case. As was keeping Holly “my age”. She was a kid when I was a kid. Now she’s a hot woman in her 30s now that I’m in my 30s. Awesome. And no, they should not have used the original Holly. She’s too old now. [Many photos HERE.]

VISUALS: Finally, REAL special effects. No more clay dinosaur fights or Sleestack in obvious rubber suits!

SOUNDTRACK: I finally got to hear the original Summer Breeze by Seals & Crofts. I really only knew the Type O Negative version.

CONCLUSION: Never trust anyone in a tunic.

This movie is definitely better than most people are saying. I thought it was fantastic. People always bitch about any kind of remake or sequel, because it never lives up to their rose-tinted nostalgic memories. THE ORIGINAL SERIES WAS ACTUALLY REALLY AWFUL. Yes, those of us who were 7 years old in 1981 LOVED the show. The dinosaur battles were TEH AWESOME. However, the original series was clearly KIDDIE SHIT. NOT for adults. The dinosaurs were clay. The Sleestak — though they scared the shit out of me — were clearly just men in rubber suits. I’ve viewed original episodes in the last 2 yrs, and they SUCK SUCK SUCK.

By remaking this as a comedy, it no longer runs the risk of trying, and failing, to be a serious remake of something that no adult could ever consider serious in the first place. Science-fiction comedy is a great genre, and there just isn’t enough of it now that Futurama is canceled. Morphing Land Of The Lost into a comedy was a genius decision that completely saved this. It exceeded my expectations so much. Carolyn and I both rate this the same on IMDB, but she rates it one less star on Netflix — possibly because she never watched the original show.

There were tons of hilarious moments!!!!!!!!!!! The Fred Flinstone homage, touching the pylon and using it as a vocoder to sing Cher, the narcotic trip they go on, the Today Show appearance, the dinosaur urine. This “remake” basically spoofs the original series and everything that was wrong with it! EPIC WIN!

Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10. Science-fiction comedy is a great genre. (Futurama, anybody?)
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10. “I wasn’t expecting a comedy going in, but the second I saw Will Ferrell, I knew it was going to be funny.  And I was right. The Sleestak costumes weren’t all that in this movie either.  It had a very rubbery feel at one point when they had a closeup of a Sleestak foot lining up in a ceremony.”
The native public rating for this movie is Netflix: 3.0/5 stars (3.6/5 stars for people who rate like me), IMDB: 5.4/10.

RECOMMENDATION: See it. Just keep in mind this is a complete reboot into a comedy franchise, and is not at all serious. Incorrect expectations ruin remakes for a lot of people — don’t be one of them.

A good test that may determine if you would like this: Do you like most Will Ferrel movies?

MOVIE QUOTE: Dr. Rick Marshall: If you don’t make it, it’s your own damn “vault.” That’s a bitch slap of truth right there.

“I love you a million times more than Jesus loved the rest of humanity when he was on the cross…”

Zombie-related dream! A cross between The Walking Dead and Pontypool.

There was a big zombie crisis. Basically, there was red water and, I think, blue water. Or maybe it was bloody water. Whatever it was, it was highly infective. And it was all over the place. If you wanted to walk across a courtyard from building to building, and accidentally stepped in a red puddle, such that a drop of it hit your skin — you would  be taken over with zombie-rage in a matter of seconds. There might have been a video game aspect to this dream, because I think I was infected MANY times. So that would imply that I kept respawning.

EVEN THE DREAM RESPAWNED — In real life, I woke up when Carolyn went to work, told her I had zombie dreams, then went back to sleep and the dream picked up where it left off.

This dream was also slightly influenced by watching the movie Sucker Punch last night.

Anyway, the blue water/blood water also infected you like the red, but it didn’t send you into a homicidal rage.

At one point, we learned how to blend in with the zombies (like in The Walking Dead [or was that Dead Set?] when they covered themselves with rotting flesh to blend in). This definitely involved moaning, walking around aimlessly, and more or less pretending to be one of them. Smell was not addressed in my dream.

After awhile, things became slightly less chaotic. Like the movie Sucker Punch, we were in some sort of institution/building. I tried to direct people to this hidden ladder several rooms behind my grandfather’s bar in his house — this is something I’ve visited during many dreams in my life (and does not exist in real life).

Anyway, we soon found out that if you never spoke, the zombie outbreak didn’t happen to most people. Much like the movie Pontypool, where the virus had attached to language itself. So a lot of us were walking from room to room, but really keeping conversation at a minimum, or not at all. Things were looking up near the end, but the whole dream was still kind of disturbing.

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

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