How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could only chuck wood in a very inefficient, bureaucratic way?From Daniel Hagan:
“As much wood as a wood chuck could chuck, pursuant to USC 18.3(b)5-7, Executive Order 15673, and only after the appropriate FS-845.2A “Marmota monax Wood Chucking Authorization Form” was submitted to the Federal Kinetic Energy Commission, Marmota Activities Approval Subcommittee (submitted a minimum of 7 business days prior to initial chucking activities) and approval granted by the Chairman of the subcommittee or, if the form is protested by at least 1/4 of the subcommittee membership, approval granted by a simple majority subcommittee vote (in the case of simple chucking) or a 2/3 majority subcommittee vote (in the case of complex chucking, or chucking that exceeds 1.45 cords of wood [regardless of whether the chucking is simple or complex]).”
From Ascii 70 85:
“Depends on his lobbyist.
If he can afford good lobbying, he’ll get a subsidy which will enable him to do 40% more chucking. Maybe even 60% despite the market only supporting the need or desire for 20% ordinarily. He can use the extra money to hire a staff which will take care of the all the necessary chucking forms, and as a secondary role they will work with the lobbyist on ways to get more subsidy money.
If you can’t effort good lobbying effort. Then chucking will be deemed environmentally damaging, and he nor anyone else will be able to chuck. Violators of this law will be shot on site.
This is an environment where he COULD chuck.
I think then it’ll be an annual allotment of probably a quarter the output of a regular woodchuck. I’m not sure exactly what that is in wood cords. Either way it’ll be decreased as time goes on despite studies which will reveal some unintended and disastrous environmental consequence due to the lack of chucking.”
Music: L7 – Deathwish