movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] “Satan is our only hope.”

PLOT SUMMARY: A hot cheerleader [highlight for spoilers] develops a taste for human flesh after being sacrificed to Satan to help a shitty band rise to success. The movie doesn’t reveal this until it’s almost over, but it really doesn’t make a big difference if you know the plot ahead of time. They really tried their best to give the plot away before anyone watched this movie, and thus I knew more going in than I would have liked to.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): As if MySpace wasn’t bad enough, crappy indie rock band finds a new way to bring misery to everyone.

PEOPLE: Directed by Karyn Kusama, who directed the Aeon Flux movie [and not much else]. Read her interview HERE. Written by Diablo Cody, who wrote the somewhat-annoying-but-decent Juno. So you can expect some “hip” teen dialog. Or at least what adults think hip teens might sound like. I don’t think any of us really know anymore. I mean, she’s in her 30’s like me.

Starring the insanely hot Megan Fox (Transformers), and the hot (but made to be less hot in this movie) Amanda Seyfried, who I’ve liked since her debut in Mean Girls. Apparently, she takes advantage of Black Friday deals.

Also keep an eye out for lesser roles by J.K. Simmons (I Love You,Man, Juno, Extract, J. Jonah Jameson in the Spider-Man movies, The Lady Killers) and Cynthia Stevenson (Hope from the old NBC sitcom Hope & Gloria, who was also in I Love You Beth Cooper). I didn’t even notice Bill Fagerbakke (Broadway from Gargoyles)!

QUIRKS: A demonic possession horror movie, done with a comedic slant. Some would argue this is NOT horror, but dark comedy.

A lot of people hate this movie, but a lot of people think it’s way deeper than it seems. This 14-page paper makes a strong case for the entire movie being a Christian allegory. Very interesting. Someone else also said this shared an aspect with AntiChrist.

VISUALS: The lesbian kiss of the year: Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried. And it’s not even a short kiss either! Seyfried, however, doesn’t look as hot as she’s looked in previous movies. After all, she’s playing “girl that hot girl hangs out with to look better next to”. But they are both undeniably hot nonetheless. This kiss is the main reason most people are seeing this movie.

Fortunately, we really like horrors… And comedy-horrors are often even easier to digest.

BAD STUFF: A bit formulaic, like most Hollywood movies. A lot of people really hate this movie, but I think it’s because they got so hyped up over Megan Fox that they forgot their own personal movie selection standards. Kind of sad that people flock so easily to something they end up hating.

Also, soundtrack-wise, I’m not sure why they would use the song Violet by Hole, when the movie is named after the song Jennifer’s Body which is on the same album. Why not use the song it’s named after? [Conjecture: Studio interference.]

CONCLUSION: This was waaaaay better than I expected based on all the haters hatin’… though it’s still only a 3/5 star, 7/10 movie.

Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10. Carolyn thought it wasn’t as bad as Jon B told her it was going to be, but maybe he helped her lower her expectations. She thought it was kind of funny at times.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 5.4/10, Netflix: 3.4/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.9/5 stars).

RECOMMENDATION: If you love horror films with some comedy, here’s another one. But it’s not straight-horror or straight-comedy. Some say it fails at both, others say it succeeds at being more than either. Did you like Drag Me To Hell? This is similar in attitude (but not execution). People are taking this movie way too seriously. Don’t listen to the haters — unless you’re one of them. In which case: Don’t watch this.

I think people who are sick of Megan Fox watch this so that they can complain about how sick they are of Megan Fox. Or maybe they just can’t admit that they want her. I never even noticed/remembered her in Transformers 1. It wasn’t ’til everyone started talking about her when Transformers 2 came out that I realized she even existed.

SIMILAR MOVIES: IMDB forumers keep saying this is like Ginger Snaps. Is that movie any good?

People also keep bringing up the movie Teeth, but this really is nothing like that except for the fact that it’s a female-driven movie.


Nikolai Wolf: Do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days? There are so many of us, and we’re all so cute and it’s like if you don’t get on Letterman or some retarded soundtrack, you’re screwed, okay? Satan is our only hope.

Needy Lesnicky: Jennifer’s evil.
Chip Dove: I know.
Needy Lesnicky: No. I mean, she’s actually evil. Not high school evil.

Mood: hungry again already
Music: The Get-Up Kids – Alec Eiffel