movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: More of the same.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Bon Jovi fails at saving career.

PEOPLE: John Carpenter is no longer involved, and I think that might actually be an improvement — though Carolyn disagrees. This is now directed by Tommy Lee Wallace, who directed 2 episodes of Max Headroom:20 Minutes Into The Future and Halloween 3.

Bon Jovi (Cry_Wolf, National Lampoon’s Pucked) slaying vampires!!!! Cristian de la Fuente as another slayer. Natasha Gregson Wagner (High Fidelity, Urban Legend, Lost Highway, Buffy The Vampire Slayer the movie) as a daywalker almost-vampire. It’s rare that I say there’s bad acting: But she managed to achieve it. Diego Luna (Milk) as Sancho. Now he’s a director?! Darius McCrary (Family Matters, the voice of Jazz in the new Transformers movie, Saw 6, 15 Minutes) as the token black guy [highlight for spoilers] who gets killed first. And the strangely lovely Arly Jover as the head female vampire. She reminds me of Nina from 24, but actually played Mercury in Blade 1.

QUIRKS: Another generic vampire movie.

VISUALS: Barely any special effects, other than some violent gore that didn’t look as realistic as it could have.

MORALS: Sometimes you have to become what you want to destroy in order to destroy it.

BAD STUFF: Carolyn said the story wasn’t as good. To me, it was more of the same.

The “spectacular” ending was better than the ending of the last one.

The plot holes were more minor. (That didn’t look like a “couple months” of drugs — 180-pill pill bottles are HUGE.) They didn’t make the mistake of talking about how killing the head vampire would return people to normal this time, so it wasn’t a glaring hole when people didn’t return to normal after they did it.

CONCLUSION: Carolyn didn’t like it as much as Vampires 1, but I think I liked it better. Though it still gets the EXACT same rating from me. Both are ultra-generic pass movies. But this one had a fewer flaws to me. And as much as I hate to say it, Bon Jovi > James Woods.

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 2.6/5 stars. IMDB: 5/10. “I can’t believe you liked it better than the 1st one, Clint!”
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.4/10 (higher than 5.8 for the previous one), Netflix: 3.0/5 stars (lower than 3.3 for the previous one). Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 2.5/5 stars, which is actually kind of accurate.

RECOMMENDATION: Bon Jovi fans should check this out. If you could stand Vampires 1, you might be able to stand this. Some people really like this franchise, but I think it’s kind of generic.

SIMILAR MOVIES: I don’t think we shall watch the 3rd movie, Vampires: The Turning. As tempting as it is to complete the “franchise”, that one only gets 2.9/10 on IMDB. Though the fact that it is in Thailand with Asian vampires MIGHT make it interesting, IMDB commentators seem to disagree.

MOVIE QUOTE: Ray Collins: You ain’t lived till you got head from a vampire.

Mood: haha
Music: Pixies – Stormy Weather