January 2012

1 new photos uploaded just now (January 31, 2012 at 12:31PM).

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LINK: POLICE STATE: Man imprisoned for 2 years without charges

2 years in solitary confinement without seeing a court date, having to pull your own tooth yourself?

Does that sound like Saudi Arabia? North Korea? Turkey? Iran? Nope, that’s America.

 People – don’t tell the government you think your friends are suicidal. They are not your friend in that situation.

 (Remember the suicidal guy on the edge of a bridge that they tased off into the river? Or the suicidal guy who was going to stab himself that they shot to death?)

The police are NOT here to help us anymore.

LINK URL: http://www.kob.com/article/stories/s2468811.shtml
TAGS: politics, AbuseOfAuthority, OverlyHarshPunishment, Constitutionalrights, rights, speedyTrial, noTrial, notCharged, arrested, suicidal, Albuquerque, NewMexico, AP, KOB, news, articles, lawsuits, solitary, solitaryconfinement, pullOwnTooth, tooth, teeth, depression, LasVegas, Poli

2 new photos uploaded just now (January 30, 2012 at 12:43PM).

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LINK: POLICE STATE: British tourists arrested in America on terror charges over Twitter jokes

Don’t you dare use British slang for “party”, or quote “Family Guy”!
Our tax dollars will be spent on fucking with you.

I wish one day could go by where something didn’t make me increasingly ashamed to be an american.

LINK URL: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2093796/British-tourists-arrested-America-terror-charges-Twitter-jokes.html
TAGS: politics, Policestate, OverlyHarshPunishment, Twitter, tweets, jokes, FamilyGuy, slang, British, MarilynMonroe, LeighVanBryan, EmilyBanting, YourTaxDollarsAtWork, paranoid, government, freedom, transportation, TSA, detained, arrested, deported, ridiculous

4 new photos uploaded just now (January 29, 2012 at 02:57PM).

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Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

1 new photos uploaded just now (January 28, 2012 at 12:02PM).

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 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Crazy sisters mess up man’s sex life.

PEOPLE: The main character is played by Christopher Masterson (the oldest brother in Malcolm In The Middle, Scary Movie 2), who I thought was Neil Patrick Harris. The 2 *lovely* sisters are played by Bijou Phillips (Choke) and Lauren German (A Midsummer Night’s Rave), who were both in Hostel 2. It is strange for a woman who’s last name is German to play a character who talks in a German accent when she gets horny. Patrick Warburton (crippled Joe Swanson from Family Guy, The Tick from The Tick‘s live-action series, Brock Samson from The Venture Bros., Buzz Lightyear from the Buzz Lightyear cartoon, Seinfeld, Men In Black 2, Scream 3) plays the typical kind of self-obsessed character he usually plays.

Also with Samm Levine (Inglourious Basterds, I Love You Beth Cooper, Pulse, Club Dread, Not Another Teen Movie, Freaks And Geeks), Danny Masterson (Hyde from That 70’s Show, Yes Man, Puff Puff Pass, The Trojan War, The Faculty), George Segal (Jack Gallo from Just Shoot Me, Dr. Benton Quest from The Real Adventures Of Jonny Quest), Leslie Hendrix (Law & Order).

QUIRKS: Infidelity. This movie is basically the same plot as Extract: Guy has an affair, so he tries to get a guy to have an affair with his wife, to even things out. This is a straight comedy, not a romantic comedy.

VISUALS: Two smokin’ hot babes.

MORALS: Apparently cheating is okay if you both do it?

BAD STUFF: People complain that they ripped off the movie Extract. A LOT of hate on IMDB.

CONCLUSION: Although this is the same plot as Mike Judge‘s Extract, which came out just a few weeks sooner — we unfortunately (because we love Mike Judge) have to conclude that this movie is funnier. The humor was more laugh out loud, and less dry than Extract. We did rate the two exactly the same, though.

Clint: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
We both thought this was a “4.4 out of 5 star movie”. In other words, it’s almost a 5-star movie.

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.0/10, Netflix: 3.0/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 2.9/5 stars — totally wrong).

RECOMMENDATION: A funny, non-romantic comedy about marital infidelity!

SIMILAR MOVIES: Extract. VERY VERY similar. Similar plot AND quality.

COINCIDENCES: My blog review for Waterworld had JUST posted. This movie featured a pretend musical theater version of Waterworld. (more…)

LINK: SHOWS: The Walking Dead with Growing Pains theme

This… is… frickin’ hilarious.

More current shows need 80’s-style theme song parodies!

TAGS: media, video, TV, shows, AMC, TheWalkingDead, zombies, parody, mash-up, GrowingPains, sitcoms, comedy, YouTube, videos LINK URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WtJ5cyzMbhc

1 new photos uploaded just now (January 25, 2012 at 12:06PM).

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Very Bad Things (1998)

Clint: 4/5, 8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5, 7.6/10.

VERY dark, morbid, black comedy. Dark enough that a lot of people don’t see the humor in it at all.

But it’s fucking hilarious! This is of the “fuuuucked UP” genre of dark comedies.

Descent into madness–And living with consequences in the end! This is like The Hangover meets Donkey Punch.

Never has Christian Slater come off sleazier and smarmier.

Never has Cameron Diaz been so undesirable, due to her crazy bitch personality in this movie (she’s hotter when she has a good personality that makes up for her lack of tits). This is a really good movie, and I’m sorry I waited this long to finally see it.

Native ratings: Netflix:3.3/5 stars (3.8 predicted for us). IMDB:6.1/10.
January 24, 2012 at 01:45PM media, video, movies, reviews, Clint, Carolyn, VeryBadThings, ChristianSlater, CameronDiaz, JonFavreau, LelandOrser, JeremyPiven, JeanneTripplehorn, IMDB, links, comedy, darkComedies, blackComedies, comedies http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0124198

2 new photos uploaded just now (January 24, 2012 at 12:50PM).

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Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

3 new photos uploaded just now (January 23, 2012 at 12:28PM). If this post is fresh, take a look at my photostream here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/clintjcl/ If this post is old, look at the latest photo from this upload batch here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/clintjcl/6749896423

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PEOPLE: Directed by Victor Garcia, a relative nobody. He did the 30 Days Of Night: Blood Trails mini-series, and is working on some new Hellraiser: Revelations straight-to-dvd movie. I guess this is a “sequel guy”.

Starring Nick Stahl (Ben Hawkins from Carnivale, John Conner from Terminator 3, Yellow Bastard from Sin City) as the “Kiefer for the sequel” nightwatchman. Great to actually recognize him for once. BEN HAWKINS!!!!

Co-starring Emmanuelle Vaugier (CSI:NY, Dr. Helen Bryce from 9 eps of Smallvile, Saw 2 & 4).

The saddest character — retarded AND stalked by by mirrors — is played by Evan Jones (Cheddar Bob from 8 Mile). Ms. Rufie (“Jenny McCarthy”) is played by Christy Carlson Romano, the voice of Kim Possible (WTF!).

Matheson is played by William Katt — that is, The Greatest American Hero!!!!!!!!!! I did not recognize his face, at all!! Even though I recognized the name in the opening credits… Nope. Totally didn’t recognize him!

Elenor Reigns (mirror demon) was played by Stephanie Honore, who was in The Final Destination 3-D. Not that she’s in any big roles at all, but I thought it was interesting that we’d at least seen her before.

And that black cop? Lance E. Nichols? He was Preacher from Benjamin Button.

PLOT SUMMARY: Mirrors are fucking evil. Get away from them.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Retard helps rapist; vigilantes kill him.

QUIRKS: A sequel to Mirrors 1, which was based on the Korean horror film Into The Mirror. And yet, Mirrors 2 actually borrowed MORE material from Into The Mirror than Mirrors 1 did! Is this a remake of Into The Mirror? Is it a sequel of a remake of Into The Mirror? Is it a 2nd remake of Into The Mirror? It’s kind of hard to say, but really, Into The Mirror was remade into both Mirrors 1 *AND* Mirrors 2. This one was actually MORE faithful to the original than Mirrors 1 was. It’s quite interesting to remake 1 movie as 2 movies, borrowing different parts from each one. I haven’t seen a remake quite handled like this.

By the way — if you read all the newspaper clippings during the opening credits, one announced that Ben Carson (Kiefer) [highlight for spoilers] died in the building collapse (of Mirrors 1).

VISUALS: The effects were certainly more high-budget and polished than the simple, restrained elegance used in Into The Mirror… But the mirrors weren’t quite as nerve-racking as they were in Mirrors 1. They did, however, have some pretty damn explicit gore. Still, though, I think the visuals were perhaps best in Mirrors 1.

MORALS: Don’t murder people, umm-kay. Murder is bad, umm-kay. If you murder people, mirrors will exact their revenge on you, umm-kay.

GOOD STUFF: That this is truer to the original Into The Mirror movie than Mirrors 1 was a boon to this movie. The exclusion of a goofy “demon on present earth Evil Dead-esque boss battle” was a boon as well.

BAD STUFF: Yet it still felt like it was sequel material. It still wasn’t as *scary* as Mirrors 1. And goddamn, the main character was NOT as likable as Keifer Sutherland. After the shit he pulled — the stupidest fucking wedding proposal in the history of all fiction — he pretty much deserved to die! What a douche.

CONCLUSION: Far truer to the original Korean Into The Mirror, this sequel was actually “less Hollywood” and “less cheesy” than Mirrors 1. It was, however, unfortunately not as scary as Mirrors 1. But it also had the grossest kill scenes (that’s good). It’s very strange that Into The Mirror was remade into both Mirrors 1 *AND* Mirrors 2. All three are great movies. All three are worth seeing. All three are directly related to the other two. Mirrors are creepy as hell. Mirrors make horror movies worth watching. I’d definitely recommend all 3 of these films.


Clint: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.

Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10. “yeah, they didn’t pull any punches with the gruesomeness in Mirrors 2. from shower-head decapitations to eyeball stabbings to intestines slopping out of guts… yuck.. but it didn’t seem as … psychologically thrilling like the others… I think it was more similar to the Korean movie than Mirrors 1. I think overall, I still liked Mirrors 1 better.”

Parthena: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10. “I think there were some things they did really well (like integrating the girl into the plotline, like the Korean movie) but others I was so-so about. Also, I think Mirrors 2 was by far grosser than the Korean version. Mirrors 1 was more *horrific* (like when Kiefer’s sister got her jaw pulled off while she was taking a bath), which was kind of gross, but that scene last night with the guy’s intestines coming out of his gut was SO INSANELY GROSS.”

TwoBeans: “Slightly better than halfway bad.”

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 4.7/10 (vs 6.1/10 for Mirrors 1), Netflix: 3.3/5 stars (vs 3.2/5 for Mirrors 2).

(Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.0/5 stars. That’s weird. Why did you think we would like this less than average, Netflix? Haven’t you been watching us watch all these mirror movies lately?!).

I think we all agree with the basic assessment that: Mirrors 1 > Into The Mirror > Mirrors 2.

COMPARISON SCORES: Netflix: Clint/Carolyn/Parthena:
Mirrors 1: 5/5/5, Into The Mirror: 4.6/4/4, Mirrors 2: 4/4/3,

COMPARISON SCORES: IMDB: Clint/Carolyn/Parthena:
Mirrors 1: 8/8/8, Into The Mirror: 8/8/7.5, Mirrors 2: 8/7/6.

RECOMMENDATION: I’m thinking that perhaps the best order to watch these 3 movies might be: Into The Mirror, Mirrors 1, Mirrors 2. There’s just enough different in Mirrors 1 from Into The Mirror that you won’t quite expect what happens… And there’s just enough in Mirrors 2 directly lifted from Into The Mirror that you won’t be as disappointed as you normally would from a sequel. These are all 3 worth watching, as are the other great mirror horrors: The Broken and Dark Mirror. (We still haven’t watched Mirror Mirror 1 & 2, but may at a later date.)

Note that Into The Mirror *comes* with Mirrors 2 if you buy it. That’s quite awesome.

COINCIDENCES: Man, during the final cop interrogation, 2Beans joked, “I’ve never seen Good Cop-Good Cop before. It’s usually Good Cop-Bad Cop.” Something to that effect. Then, right after he said it, the scene ended, and the cops said, “That was the easiest interrogation ever! We’ve never tried good cop-good cop before!” Suffice to say, 2Beans received applause from all, and several, “Well done!”s in exchange for predicting it so well!

Also, this movie specifically had scenes that took place during the same day, month, and year that we were watching it on! HOW’D THEY KNOW!?!?! WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?!

OTHER REVIEWS: Here’s a scathing 1/5 review. (more…)

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] Watched with Parthena in 720p.

PLOT SUMMARY: After Prince Of Darkness failing to make me creeped out by mirrors (like it did when I was 12), this movie makes mirrors creepy again. Oh wait, that’s not really a plot summary, is it?

LIMERICK REVIEW: There once was a suspended cop named Ben;
Patrolled an empty building over and over again.
Creepy things started filling his life,
Now he had to save his kids and wife…
You really don’t want to stumble into a demon den.

HAIKU REVIEW: Mirror reflections;
Often completely harmless.
Your family will die.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Selfish 12-year-old causes innocent families to be killed, while she pretends to be married to a sky fairy.

QUIRKS: Based on the Korean horror “Into The Mirror”.

PEOPLE: From the director of the 2006 The Hills Have Eyes. Starring Kiefer Sutherland (yes, he uses his “Jack Bauer” voice), Paula Patton (Swing Vote), and to a lesser extent, Amy Smart (Crank 1-2, Just Friends), and Mary Beth Peil (The Stepford Wives, Jersey Girl, Dawson’s Creek).

VISUALS: The mirror theme is, obviously, a strong part of the visuals. The opening credits were awesome — consisting of mirror-image aerial shots of New York done in a very triptastic way. The film stock used had an insane amounts of lens flare / reflection — whenever Kiefer would wave his flashlight around, you’d see the reflection of the flashlight on the screen. I complained about this several times until Carolyn pointed out that it was so you would see the mirror reflection of the flashlight. Suddenly, what felt like a bug was now a feature.

This also has one of the most gruesome death sequences I’ve seen — [highlight for spoilers] a woman’s jaw being spontaneously and completely ripped open by her mirror image, who simply rips her own jaw apart in the mirror, with a face of utter calm.. Apparently they had to feed the actor through a straw due to the time-requirements on such a fantastic makeup job.

Above all, a creepy feel is well-maintained throughout most of the movie.

And then in the middle of the movie, I moved a huge mirror next to the couch we were watching it on :D

SOUNDTRACK: I rarely remark on the music — but some of the shattering sound effects were quite grating. My adrenal gland totally jizzed on my stomach.

MORALS: When you are an alcoholic taking anti-alcohol drugs — don’t expect your estranged wife to believe you when you say the mirrors are out to get you. Just… don’t.

TRIVIA: ‘Esseker’ is an anagram for ‘Seekers’.

BAD STUFF: This movie was one of the most creepy psychological thrillers I’ve seen — but near the end, it lost it’s edge, briefly became more of a mystery, and then briefly became more of a supernatural horror. At it’s low point, a fight with [highlight for spoilers] a demon, I was waiting for, “I’ll swallow your soul!” and “Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.” (Quotes from Army Of Darkness.) But then the very ending redeemed this weakness, in a surprising twist.

What was up with [highlight for spoilers] the demon, anyway? A little backstory might have helped. It was almost as if they hadn’t decided what the cause of the movie was until they were most of the way through.

Despite these flaws, the movie still held up.

CONCLUSION: Despite it’s flaws — a weaker 3rd third of the movie — this was a grade-A psychological + supernatural thriller. The creepiness! The ending! What a twist! The flaws keep it down at an 8/10 IMDB rating, but this is a 5-star horror movie nonetheless.

Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10. the first half was definitely better than the second half. it was more psychologically thrilling..
Parthena: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.1/10, Netflix: 3.3/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.2/5 stars, slightly lower than average. WRONG!)

RECOMMENDATION: A great horror movie to see!

SIMILAR MOVIES: I intend to watch Dark Mirror as well as the original Korean “Into The Mirror” movie. And of course Prince Of Darkness was the movie that made me scared of mirrors as a teenager — but it just didn’t hold up to my current-day standards. But the movie most similar to this so far would have to be The Broken. This was better than The Broken, but I would still **strongly** encourage any fan of Mirrors to also see The Broken.

We’ll see if Dark Mirror (2007) holds up to this.

MOVIE QUOTE: Ben Carson: “The mirrors. They’re so clean.”
Lorenzo Sapelli: “Oh, no, that’s Gary. Gary Lewis. The fella who’s been working here before you. He was completely obsessed with these damn mirrors. Spent the entire night cleaning them.”

Ben Carson: “The fucking mirrors! They are everywhere. In the department store, on the corner of every street, in the window of every building in the city. I feel…I feel like I’m not the one looking into the mirrors, but they’re looking back at me.”

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Kier had good things to say about it. (more…)

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: A failed inventor finally invents something: Food falling from the sky. Oops.

LIMERICK REVIEW: There once was a nerd named Flint,
And despite all the time that he spent —
His inventions went haywire
He always ended in mire.
And then he created an unnatural event.

Thus we soon had meat falling from the sky,
and nobody ever bothered to ask why.
Too good to be true,
Or subject to review —
Eventually there’s going to be an oversupply.

HAIKU REVIEW: Manna from the sky
was decent in the bible,
but not good today.

Home Movies inspired joke: Don’t put meat in the sky don’t put it in there put it in there. (This joke for watchers of Home Movies only.)

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Tampering with the climate causes unexpected complications.

PEOPLE: From the 2 writers/directors/producers of the 5-star MTV cartoon series Clone High.

Starring Bill Hader (Year One, Adventureland, Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Brothers Solomon, Superbad, Knocked Up, Saturday Night Live) as the main character. James Caan (Alien Nation, The Godfather) as his usually-eyeless, bareley-speaking dad. Anna Faris (who I try to see every movie of) as the weather girl-cum-love interest. Andy Samberg (I Love You Man, Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Saturday Night Live) as the annoying “Baby” Brent.

Bruce Campbell as the greedy, chock full o’ hubris mayor. Mr. T — the only voice we correctly recognized — as the jerk cop. Boobb’e J. Thompson (Ronnie Shields from Role Models, Human Giant) as the cop’s kid.

Neil Patrick Harris is the monkey! Awesome! He just says one word at a time. It’s almost insulting, like when South Park tried to make Jerry Seinfeld “Turkey #3” in the Thanksgiving episode. But N.P.H. is really cool with self-deprecating humor — so having a big name play a kind of idiotic part just adds to the charm of the movie.

Also with Al Roker, Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls), Will Forte (Abe Lincoln from Clone High, Stuart from Sit Down Shut Up, Saturday Night Live, Fanboys, The Brothers Solomon, and one of the writers of Extreme Movie).

VISUALS: Excellent cgi, but with purposefully cartoon-looking, exaggerated humans. One scene of the water by the docks looked pretty much photorealistic to me. Would have liked to have seen this in 3-D, but apparently not much stuff popped out of the screen during this, and people complained that the 3-D was lame.

Fans of the book might not like that they completely changed the visual style. TOO BAD.

QUIRKS: Based on a book. Though I don’t see how a book could capture NEARLY the action, looks, and feel of this movie.

This is all about not giving up and trying to reach your full potential.

But wait! It’s also about fixing your relationship with your father.

Or is it a secret environmental “green” agenda? Don’t mess with the weather, or it will fuck you up!

Or is it a romance?

Or is it about not becoming complacent with your role in life, like Baby Brent?

Or is it about how lame people are for making fun of nerds, when the nerds are the ones who actually understand how things work and effect change?

Or is it making fun of the media, and its sexism?

Or is it a statement about how fat everyone’s getting?

Actually, this movie is full of several different plot conflicts, all of which resolve over the course of a movie containing a hefty load of hilarity and action. There are lots of funny moments going on — even in the background. And as the plot sickens, it turns into a frenetic non-stop actionfest.

BAD STUFF: It’s a “family” movie. But this shouldn’t stop a non-family person from enjoying it, if you are still young at heart.


CONCLUSION: This was a great movie. Hilarious, many plot conflicts, and tons of action at the end. Very comparable to Up, but with the intense emotion replaced with humor and wackiness. I take umbrage with the idea that this is for “kids only”. Also, I think it’s better than Toy Story.

Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10. “I don’t know why I liked the movie Up better, ’cause this was a good one, and I don’t even remember what was so good about the movie Up.” [However, she rated this the exact same.]
Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10. Personally, I liked this better than the movie Up. Less annoying kid shit, more wackiness and cartoon craziness. Maybe not as touching, but more entertaining. There’s a big discussion about that here

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 7.4/10, Netflix: 4.1/5 stars.

RECOMMENDATION: Don’t skip this just because you see it as a kids movie. It’s actually quite fun. If you didn’t hate Toy Story, you might not hate this either. Give it a chance!

SIMILAR MOVIES: Up, in a sense. But this movie was quite different. Up can probably make you cry; this one probably cannot. This isn’t as emotional, but it’s way more fun.

MOVIE QUOTE: Mr. T/Cop: You know what you are, Flint Lockwood? A shenaneganizer!

Sam Sparks: You may have seen a meteor shower, but I bet you’ve never seen a shower “meatier” than this. (more…)

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