We here at the Peoples’ Republic Of Clarolyntopiastan are sad to report the passing of one of our most frequent honorary citizens, John The Canadian, who has moved on to the great coast in the west, now to be known as Mighty Joe-John The Californian Canadien. Past the jump below is a copy of his final blogpost reviewing the cartoons we watched during our final Cartoon Night (The Sequel). The night was a sequel because we had a final night, then there was an extension, so we had another final night of cartoons. It worked out well as there was a glut of toons prior to the pre-season-wrapup haitus that most networks went on near the end of March.
Where to begin? We met in 1996, hung out until I graduated in 1997, I assume he hung out with Carolyn during the year she was still at college and I wasn’t, and we all started hanging out again once we moved into our house in 1999. So it’s been around 16 years. There’s been quite a few adventures along the way, and it is truly the end of an era.
Can’t think of very many people I’m still in touch with (Facebook doesn’t count) that I was friends with 16 years ago. While we are both still in touch with several of our college friends, for the most part we’ve all gone our separate ways over the last 15 years since I graduated, and these people are basically “online friends” / pen pals. The few college-era friends that remain as facetime-meatspace-real-life-actual-friends are often only seen at parties that we host — (and almost never in reverse) — leading us to conclude that if we didn’t throw parties, we’d probably not see them at all.
Mighty Joe-John The Californian Canadien was probably our last regularly-hanging-out (15+ times a year, every year) college-era friend. The friendship didn’t require constant reaching-out and making-oneself-available, hoping for a chance to see someone in real life and not just on Facebook. You didn’t need to work to maintain the friendship; it was just there.
I suddenly feel like I’m writing a eulogy.
Despite the fact that Mighty Joe-John The Californian Canadien did not drive or own a car, he forged an alliance with the very honorable LORD OF THE EAGLES, allowing himself to be magically dropped off at our doorstep without ever asking for a ride in 16 years of friendship. (I once glanced upon the countenance of the Lord Of The Eagles; it is a site no other Clarolyntopiastanian has ever witnessed.)
It is thus that the leaders of the Peoples’ Republic Of Clarolyntopiastan have elected to officially bestow to Mighty Joe-John The Californian Canadien the never-before-bestowed LIFETIME EAGLE LORDSHIP TRANSPORTATION ACHIEVEMENT AWARD for being less of a transportation hassle as a pedestrian than most people are as drivers. Every non-driver could take a lesson from this guy. He also receives the rare Purple Couch Heart award for inflicting couch-related injuries in the honorable Clarolyntopiastanian War Against Sobriety, as well as a permanent entry in to the Clarolyntopiastan Anecdote Hall Of Fame Archives.
Fortunately he will be coming back to visit, so this isn’t as permanent of a goodbye as when my best friend Sam Watson moved to Mississippi in 1989ish. Nonetheless, as John said in his own blog post (below), this is the end of an era. We have been given pause to consider friendship, what it truly means, how it is achieved, how it is maintained, and whether it’s always worth it.
Thus, the only logical step is to open our minds, ignore our fear of Bronyism, and to finally allow ourselves to watch My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic. And with that segue, here are the reviews of the cartoons, as written by John on his blog HERE.
Can’t Talk Right Now, I’m Watching My Little Pony
My Little Pony [john’s first episode, S1E5]
when Rainbow Dash’s former lover pays a visit to that place where all the ponies live, Pinkie Pie puts her plastic cock-blocking skills to good use. u watch Pinkie Pie chasing Rainbow Dash, and it’s like Pepe Le Pew chasing that cat that had a painted stripe, to make her look like a skunk. after watching this episode, I became a full-on My Little Brony!
“U MAD, BRONY?”
I don’t wanna go into too much detail about this episode, other than to say it kinda felt like a series finale. even tho it wasn’t even a season finale. if u look at PFFR’s track record, a three-season show would be par for the course. it’s best to go out while you’re on top, and this was the best season to date! there is a reunion episode/season finale this Thursday nite.
Check It Out
Dr. Steve Brule explores Pleasure. he goes to the candy store, where he breaks his teeth on a lollipop. he goes to the county fair, where he breaks his nose on a roller coaster. he goes to a bath house, where he may have been violated. he eats a mystical root, which causes him to freak out.
cat-breading becomes the hot new meme, and everyone now thinks cats have evolved to the intelligence level of humans. Cartman struggles to keep the art of Faith Hilling relevant.
Twayne quits when Mark’s comedy roast of him goes too far. Mark takes over, and immediately runs into problems, when he shuts down the Department of Birthdays.
trading places episode where Jeff and Haley become the heads of household, and Stan and Francine live on a minimum-wage salary for a month; Roger and Steve test drive the car of their dreams.
Bob gets a new ice cream machine; Linda teaches the kids synchronized swimming class.
Mary Shelley’s Frankenhole
Victor builds a robot, so he can see what he really looks like, and doesn’t like the results.
we also watched three episodes of Robot Chicken. my average score was 6-6-6 (one 6, two 7s)
we’ve come to the end of an era. with my departure to set up operations on the west coast, I will no longer be frequenting the House of MagicMist. it’s been a good run…
You will be missed!