movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: … it continues.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Clingy emo chick won’t take no for an answer; proceeds to engage in self-destructive behavior.

PEOPLE: New director: Guy who directed The Golden Compass. BTW… Kristen Stewart‘s looking pretty hot these days.


holy shit this is so emo

now let’s build a motorcycle… wtf

what if this is all Bella’s delusions? like Garfield Minus Garfield?

*That* was the end fight? Really?

This cliffhanger is like a sitcom season finale.

WILHELM SCREAM: Twice during the movie “FacePunch”. The irony was not lost that in New Moon, they go to a movie and talk about how horrible it is. Self-deprecating commentary?

MORALS: Uh… I don’t even know. Sometimes love makes you do harmful things? Sometimes being a crazy clingy stalker bitch is the right thing to do because he really wants to be with you, even when he says no? Eek. Not a good moral in the real world. But in a fantasy world of werewolves and vampires, it actually made sense. Kind of.

BAD STUFF: “Too” romantic, and blisteringly emo… but then that basically applies to the original movie as well. But… it’s even more in this one. My god is this an emo movie. Holy moley. Cry like a baby and lay down in the woods and sleep because your love is so strong that you can’t walk! Ack.

CONCLUSION: The first movie was better… Haha. We both rated this as barely passable. The fantasy is what carries this movie, not the romance. And even that is a bit sub-par. But still passable… Probably only due to the big budget.

RATINGS: We both rated this as barely passable. I consider my “generic pass” rating to be 3/5 Netflix stars, 6/10 IMDB. This *rounded up* to that, but was slightly below that.

Clint: Netflix: 2.8/5 stars. IMDB: 5.9/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 2.6/5 stars. IMDB: 5.5/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 4.6/10, Netflix: 4.3/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 2.7/5 stars).

RECOMMENDATION: Neutral. At this point, you’ve either seen Twilight and decided not to continue, or you have.

SIMILAR MOVIES: This particular installation of the Twilight saga is most certainly influenced by Romeo & Juliet, which they feature in the movie.

MOVIE QUOTE: Jacob Black: Have you ever had a secret you couldn’t tell anyone?

COINCIDENCES: A double coincidence: (Twilight 2:New Moon, Nip Tuck S2E01) 2 videos within 2 nights with a person giving a dog cpr, or a dog (werewolf) giving a person cpr. WEIRD. PLUS… They both had girls whose right side of their face was scarred. [Note: We’ve been watching a lot of Nip/Tuck, and it might actually be more than 1 Nip Tuck episode to get this double-coincidence.]

Mood: waking
Music: Testament – The New Order