movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PEOPLE: Written & Directed by Adam Green (Frozen).

Has cameos by Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger of Nightmare On Elm Street) [in the beginning sequence], Kane Hodder (Jason) [as Mr. Crowley], and Tony Todd (Candyman) [as Rev. Zombie].

Starring Joel Moore (Norm Spellman from Avatar, J.P. from Grandma’s Boy, Owen from Dodgeball:A True Underdog Story) played a kind of annoying, dorky, buzzkill character, and co-starring Tamara Feldman as Mary Beth. She is replaced by Danielle Harris [Super Capers, Halloween 4-5] in the sequel.

Parry Shen plays the tour guide. The pornographer guy, Joel Murray, was in One Crazy Summer. The token black guy was Deon Richmond (Scream 3, Not Another Teen Movie, Van Wilder 1, The Cosby Show). The older couple on the tour were played by Richard Riehle (who looks like the “This is what I do. I sit on you” guy from Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, and will be in Harold & Kumar 3, and was in Palindromes, Mysterious Skin, Office Space, Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas, Lethal Weapon 4, Fried Green Tomatoes) and Patrika Darbo (Days Of Our Lives, Speed 2, Gremlins 2).

Joleigh Fioravanti (who was in 1 ep of Nip/Tuck), plays a soft-core porn-star brunette, with her DUMBEST-BLONDE-EVER “partner” played Misty by Mercedes McNab (Harmony Kendall from Buffy/Angel, Hatchet 2, young Susan Storm from The Fantastic Four movie). Somehow both these actresses return as the same character in Hatchet 2, [highlight for spoilers] even though I thought everyone died in this movie.

The monster is played by Rileah Vanderbilt (Frozen). Pretty awesome to have a monster played by a woman, even if it’s only for budget reasons.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Fraudulent tour guide kills customers.

QUIRKS: Horror-comedy.

VISUALS: New Orleans-centric visuals: Bourbon Street and Swamps. The monster itself is not that impressive looking. It’s barely a cut above what you’d put in a Troma movie.

Joel Moore’s vomit was real.

SOUNDTRACK: Marilyn Manson!

GOOD STUFF: I wasn’t expecting any comedy, so the fact that this had some laughs in it turned out to be a pleasant surprise.

BAD STUFF: The horror doesn’t kick in for a long time… And when it does, it’s not that scary. So they saved the movie by making it funny — but some of the funny parts could have been funnier too.

CONCLUSION: A kind of generic mediocre horror movie, saved by dosing it with a decent amount of comedy.

RATINGS:

Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6.4/10 (a high 6).

Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10. “It wasn’t terrible, but it was kind of stilted, in my opinion.. that guy was uber-lame in the beginning…but there were definitely funny parts… The horror part wasn’t as “horror-y” (horrible? hehe) as it could have been. But I don’t think it was trying to be… ”

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 5.8/10 (the sequel gets 6.2), Netflix: 2.9/5 stars (the sequel gets 3.7/5 stars) (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.2/5 stars).

RECOMMENDATION: Neutral. Only reason to watch this, really, is to affirm the fact that Adam Green’s other movies aren’t as good as his magnum opus, the movie Frozen. If you do watch it, don’t expect to take it seriously.

SIMILAR MOVIES: Hatchet 2 – supposedly more serious and less of a comedy. And it has the “Amy” girl who was in The Walking Dead season 1 [her sister watched her die in ep #4 or #5].

MOVIE QUOTE:

[after Jenna and Misty’s make-out session in front of the guys]
Jenna: Eww! Brush your teeth much?
Misty: Lick me, bitch.
Jenna: No thanks. I like my tongue without the syphilis.
Misty: You’re syhpilis, Ms. Big Words!
Jenna: …Okay, that didn’t even make sense.
Misty: Lick me.Music: Sepultura – Inner Self