movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PEOPLE: Nobody we really recognized… This is produced by Michael Bay. But no explosions, haha.

Wes Craven didn’t even direct this! He wasn’t even approached! Seriously, wtf? I guess it sort of makes sense, however, as a director remaking his own film would be a bit like a musician covering his own song. Craven has spoken out against this film. But not Robert Englund

Robert Englund wouldn’t reprise his role as Freddy, because he felt he was too old. So we get Jackie Earle Haley (Rorschach from Watchmen, Breaking Away, Damnation Alley) instead. His makeup is different; more “realistic burn victim” than “male witch”. No more big nose. Those of us used to Freddy looking a certain way are going to be a bit annoyed by that.

Nancy is back, but with a different last name, and now played by age-appropriate actor Rooney Mara (The Social Network). Her mom is played by Connie Britton (6 eps of 24, Spin City, Friday Night Lights), who I just kept thinking was hotter than her daughter most of the movie.

And we have Clancy Brown (Brother Justin from Carnivale, Lex Luther from various Superman cartoons) as one of the fathers. Notable because Clancy Brown rules and should get more parts.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Vigilanties fail to save their raped children.

QUIRKS: A remake of the original 1984 A Nightmare On Elm Street.

VISUALS: More modern special effects make the things, on average, look better. But of course, Freddy looks different now — a bit more realistic; and that is a bit upsetting if you want it to be identical to the original.

MORALS: Vigilantism might not be the best way to solve your problems.

GOOD STUFF: The suspense, fear, and creepiness of the originals still seems to be intact, albeit with a more modern feel. They kept things very true to the original; this isn’t anything like the butchering of Friday The 13th that we saw in the Friday The 13th reboot remake.

CONCLUSION: As far as remakes go, this was actually more true to the original then I expected. This did not make the same mistakes the Friday The 13th remake made. That’s good.

Clint: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10. More or less the same as I rated the original.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 5.2/10 (haters hatin’!), Netflix: 3.5/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.6/5 stars–nice that this causes it to be rounded up to 4, which is what we rated it).

RECOMMENDATION: Don’t be scared away from this just because it’s a remake.

SIMILAR MOVIES: A sequel is already in the works.

MOVIE QUOTE: Freddy Krueger: “Did you know that after the heart stops beating the brain can function for well over seven minutes? We got six more minutes to play.”

Music: Metallica – Mission Impossible Theme (Heavy Metal Remix)