November 2012


VIDEO: OPTICAL ILLUSION: Amazing Anamorphic Illusions

Whoa.. This totally blew my mind. 

LINK URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tBNHPk-Lnkk

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: Cobra has re-activated after many years, and G.I. Joe basically have 24 hours to stop a nefarious plot.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): G.I.s die.

PEOPLE: Charles Adler (The Red Guy from Cow & Chicken, Buster Bunny from Tiny Toons, Low Light in the original G.I. Joe, Silverbolt in Transformers) replaces Chris Latta (Starscream in Transformers, and Mr. Burns in 3 early Simpsons episodes) as Cobra Commander — just like he replaced Chris Latta (R.I.P.) as Starscream in Transformers! But for the most part, just a bunch of cartoon-industry people. Directed by an old storyboard artist from the recent Justice League series…


R.I.P. Chris Latta, original voice of Cobra Commander and Starscream

QUIRKS: Deaaaaath! Real death! No parachutes coming out of planes that just exploded. Hell, they killed over 10 million people in this! Way more realism with the death, but not with everything else.

Still — some badass fight scenes.

A martial arts move that reminds me of Kill Bill 2.

And some major destruction.

VISUALS: A Titmouse production! That is to say, same studio that brought us Metalocalypse, Beavis & Butt-head tripping in the desert in the B&B movie, Guitar Hero cinematics, and Avatar:The Last Airbender (soon to be a live-action film).

Way better animation than the original series.

Obviously.

That’s kind of the point.

POLITICS: Not enough, really. The Black Panther animated series had a lot more relavent politics.

BAD STUFF: It’s only an hour… It’s only a one-time thing… A lot of characters get killed off. Fortunately I didn’t remember any of them anyway. I was always a bit more into Transformers

The bad guys’ aim is no better now than in the 1980s. Two people can stand back to back in the middle of a room where everyone else is trying to shoot them to death, and THRIVE. Even when the enemy has machine guns and they have pistols.

The “Springfield” town was a little bit too contrived. This bothered Carolyn more than Clint. Clint thought “Springfield” was a neat way of saying “Anyville, USA”. Twenty years of The Simpsons kind of drives that home.

The plot was a bit thin at some points. Total deus ex machina at the end…

CONCLUSION: Despite its flaws, this way way better than the original cartoon. DEAAAAAAATH! REAL DEATH! Over 10 million killed!

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 7.8/10, Netflix: 3.9/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 4.4/5 stars, turned out to be a bit high).

Lord Cyclohexane says: “Warren Ellis is one of my favorite comic book writers, and he did a fantastic job when he wrote G. I. Joe: Resolute. I hope he gets more cartoon contracts, and I really look forward to the adaptation of his “Ocean” which I believe he himself is adapting.”

RECOMMENDATION: If you liked the original G.I. Joe cartoon AND the new G.I. Joe movie (Rise Of The Cobra), then it is a certainty that you’ll like this. However, a lot of people who liked the cheesy old cartoon then whined about the movie. Perhaps they weren’t ready for a live-action adaptation? Perhaps cartoons done in live action are too serious? Maybe some of those people who hated Rise Of The Cobra would still like this animated offering. It’s only an hour!

Quite a few people flat out say this is better than Rise Of The Cobra. I dunno. I like the glitz of some fancy live-action special effects. But I also love cartoons. In the end, I might like the live-action movie better simply because there is more of it.

MOVIE QUOTE: Cobra Commander: And this is how I win the world. This juncture, of course, is usually where the wheels come off. But not this time!
(more…)

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Dreamed I listened to Sean E’s radio show and he played some awesome punk band.

I immediately tuned out, listened to more of it on Pandora, really really liked it, and then immediately went to bittorrent and downloaded their complete discography.

I listened to it and really loved this punk band.

Then the next day at work (still in my dream), I told Sean about it.

This dream was a bit odd because this dream was on the same night as his radio show in real life, and he’s my co-worker in real life, and I really did tell him about the dream in real life afterward… So this practically could have really happened.

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

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 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: Owlman is more of a fucking asshole than anybody ever.

PEOPLE: Executive produced by Bruce Timm, who is basically the #1 DC action cartoon force of my lifetime: Justice League, Batman Beyond, Superman, Batman… Every DC comic-related series or movie since 1990 has his name on it. Directed by Sam Liu (Superman/Batman: Public Enemies, Hulk Vs., Batman Vs. Dracula, 7 eps of The Batman series, 3 eps of the Roughnecks Starship Troopers series) and Lauren Montgomery (the Wonder Woman animated movie, Green Lantern:First Flight, Superman/Doomsday).

Interesting casting; they have abandoned the standard 1990s and 2000s voices used for many of the heroes.

Now we have William Baldwin (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Flatliners) as Batman [No more Kevin Conroy! Wahh!].
Mark Harmon (Freaky Friday 2003, NCIS, Chicago Hope, St. Elsewhere) as Superman [No more Tim Daly! Wahh!].
Chris Noth (Law & Order, Mr. Big from Sex & The City) as Lex Luthor [No more Clancy Brown! Wahh!].
Gina Torres (Zoe from Firefly, Nebula from Hercules/Xena, Cleopatra 2025, 7 eps of 24 in 2004, Cas from The Matrix 2 & 3) as Superwoman.
James Woods (John Carpenter’s Vampires, Videodrome, Cat’s Eye) as Owlman, a real fucking asshole in the movie. [INTERVIEW]
Here’s an interesting one: Wonder Woman was played by Vanessa Marshall, who played Irwin in The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy. From weak black boy to strong white woman, I guess she has a versatile voice, yo. She was also Lust Minion #2 in the animated Dante’s Inferno movie.
Green Lantern is played by Nolan North, who did Cyclop’s voice in the excellent Wolverine & The X-Men animated series, and Dead Pool in the Hulk Vs. mini-movies. And oh, he was a goblin voice in the great live-action fantasy The Spiderwick Chronicles.
A minor part, The Jester, was played by James Patrick Stewart, who some might remember as Keith from Andy Richter Controls The Universe.
And Black Canary? Kari Whurer – from The Adventures Of Ford Fairlane, Eight Legged Freaks, Sliders, and, most memorably, MTV’s Remote Control, where everyone lusted after her from 1988 til 1989.

QUIRKS: Alternate earth superhero action fest!

VISUALS: Great action. Well choreographed fight scenes. I’ve never seen Wonder Woman tie another woman up in such a graceful, action-packed, slickly-animated way. Great job.

MORALS: If you’re not Owlman, you’re not as much of an asshole as you could be.

POLITICS: Most governments would rather placate evil than stand up directly to it. Security over liberty, as usual. (Didn’t anyone learn anything from “Give me liberty or give me death”??)

BAD STUFF: The voice actor casting is distracting to those who have watched every animated Batman incarnation for 20 years.

CONCLUSION: A lot of action! Even in the first half! Solidly entertaining — this is one of the best animated superhero action movies to come out of the past decade. And alternate realities make anything more interesting!

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 9/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 9/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 7.1/10, Netflix: 3.9/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 4.4/5 stars).

RECOMMENDATION: Worth seeing for any superhero fan!

SIMILAR MOVIES: Superman/Batman: Public Enemies was similarly kick-ass.

MOVIE QUOTE: This is the first time I’ve seen Wonder Woman with an invisible plane since the Superfriends era. It’s simply too goofy, and they were smart never to use it. But in this film, she ends up with one by the end. It’s not really relevant to the plot, but it’s nice that they give a nod to the original Wonder Woman mythos. The Flash confronts her about it:

Flash: I can’t believe you kept that thing.
Wonder Woman: Spoils of war. I like it.
Flash: What do you need a plane for anyway? You can fly.
Green Lantern: You drive a car.
Flash: That is *so* not the point. (more…)

8 new photos uploaded just now (November 23, 2012 at 10:13AM).

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I dreamt me & Carolyn were living in my parents’ basement (12325 house)… I had been gone a few days, but was back, and I was doing computer stuff on my TV (the 36″ CRT huge TV I had from 1977 until 2003 or so).

That was when I noticed, “Hey, this TV out isn’t as crisp as it could be”, and realized that I was doing TV-out on my CRT, and not my LCD HDTV, which I previously had sitting on top of the big, oak, 36″ CRT. Someone had stolen my $2300 TV! I was very distraught and distrustful.

I had had a party there sometime very recently, so immediately my suspicion was on those party guests that always show up that one does not really know. Maybe they saw it, liked it, didn’t really know me, waited for me to be out of town, and then took it? It’s the only thing of real value that I keep in my house anyway; used desktop computers aren’t worth much anymore (people want laptops).

I was debating the logistics of filing a police report, since apparently they would make you pay $100 to do the paperwork for filing a larceny report and proving you owned it to have it be stolen in the first place.

Asshole pigs! You’re already paid by my taxes! Angry dream.

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

1 new photos uploaded just now (November 22, 2012 at 10:33AM).

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I'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Not available on Netflix.]

PLOT SUMMARY: A grief-stricken dysfunctional family goes camping.

PEOPLE: It’s a Danish film, so nobody anyone here would know. The director is literally a bitch.

QUIRKS: Camping! Most of this movie takes place at a big communal campsite. Reminds me of Brushwood Folklore Center.

The fat  son reminds me of Ubuntu from The Goode Family.

VISUALS: Camping.

MORALS: Uh… If your dad shoots himself in the head, don’t stop doing fun things because you feel all depressed.

BAD STUFF: The whole movie. How utterly pointless. Billed as a comedy/drama, but really it’s just a shitty drama.

My favorite part was when they showed the camper driving into the campsite. “It looks like Brushwood! X-Day is only a month away! [as of the time of writing this, 6/2010]”. The rest of the movie? Quite awful actually. Slow, pointless drama. I assume the characters are going through some sort of introspective transformation, but we’re never really told what is going on in their head.

As usual, any movie with someone writing a book in it is awful. Just something I’ve noticed. They try to ascribe all this fake profundity on the writings of the writer, but in the end, the few bits of her writing that were “read” in the movie just made me hate everything that much more.

CONCLUSION: Crap.

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 2/5 stars. IMDB: 4/10.

Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10. I asked her to submit a few words on why she didn’t think it sucked, and she didn’t really have any reasons or response to offer.

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 5.5/10.

RECOMMENDATION: Tip: Don’t procure foreign movies based on one word titles that happen to be something you like. Then again, I procured Young People Fucking explicitly because of the title, and that movie ruled. But it wasn’t foreign. Thus, I’m saying that this rule only applies to FOREIGN movies. Why? No reason; that’s just my personal experience. My rules for movie procurement have changed. I won’t make this mistake again (hopefully). (more…)

Dreamt Chablis & us did 2C-B in a mall store that was closed, in a mall that was closed.

After being up all night tripping, the mall security came, and we had to run out of there in a rush.

Don’t remember many details, but it was a mentally intense dream.

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

LOCAL: No Toll Road Toll Increase – sign the petition!

“Hopefully [the new Virginia beltway HOT lanes] will work well and reduce congestion. If so, this is a great step towards using tolls effectively to provide a value-added benefit to toll payers.

The Dulles Toll Road (DTR) is a classic example of the opposite: tolls being mis-used on other projects instead of providing a transportation solution.

Tolls had already paid for the DTR, and now are being rapidly increased to pay for a transit project with no benefit to most toll-payers. The result will be toll-avoidance diversion of traffic to local roads bringing gridlock and reduced mobility to the region.

If the Beltway express lanes work, VDOT should retake the DTR from corrupt MWAA [using eminent domain], make it free again, and MWAA could turn the Dulles Airport Access Rd. into HOT lanes modeled after the beltway project.

Revenues from airport users and commuters willing and able to pay could fund the rail project, while local residents’ already-paid-for-road would be made accessible to them again.

Sign the petition and read about more solutions at http://www.noTOLLincrease.org”

LINK URL: http://notollincrease.blogspot.com

Dreamt Sean E gave me PCP.

We were hanging out, and he had a metal tin, told me it was PCP, and I just put a VERY small amount on my finger and snorted it.

Is PCP even something that’s snorted? No clue.

So it was kinda weird.

I barely felt it in the dream, but I definitely felt something different than I’d ever felt. Weird shit!

''Dreams... They're the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.'' --Xavier:Renegade Angel

“Dreams… They’re the hurricanes that wash the soulfilth from the superdome of our nightminds.”
Xavier:Renegade Angel (more…)

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1 new photos uploaded just now (November 15, 2012 at 07:23AM).

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 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: A spoof-genre comedy primarily making fun of The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Yes, they are spoofing movies that are already comedies. Which sort of defeats the point. I mean, obviously anyone watching this knows in advance that it’s not going to be anywhere near as good as those 4 movies. So people complaining heavily about this movie as if they had no clue it was going to be the way it turned out to be are a bit silly for not realizing that this might not be worth watching. Me? I’m good at setting expectations. [See CONCLUSION, below.]

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] 41 yrs of cum built-up spurts into your face at the end.

PEOPLE: Some of the people they chose were funny: They didn’t just spoof movies, they spoofed the actors as well.

Steven Sims played Jonah, an obvious Jonah Hill parody. In fact, he created a show called Destroying Jonah Hill, where his attempt is to besmirch Jonah Hill‘s name so that he can have his own success instead of living in his shadow. He looks like Jonah Hill that much. But maybe with a 5% less I-want-to-punch-you-in-the-face factor.

Stephen Kramer Glickman did a decent job playing Seth, an obvious Seth Green Rogan parody. Not nearly as good as Steven Sims as Jonah Hill, but still. You could tell right away who he was parodying.

Bryan Callen played the main character. He’s been in The Hangover, Old School, Scary Movie 4, MadTV, How I Met Your Mother, 7th Heaven.

QUIRKS: Spoof-genre movie. Lots of poor re-creations of already-seen scenes. But done without any tact, and with far less creativity. I’m a fan of gross humor, and hate when people say “they just go for the easy gross humor”. But in this case, they really are doing it because it’s the easy way out. For once, I agree with the detractors of gross humor. (The grossness is still kinda funny, though.)

McAnalovin’?

VISUALS: The girls were hot. Especially Noureen DeWulf, who looked better in the movie than her IMDB pictures. Maybe we’ll see her in National Lampoon’s Pledge This at some point in the future.

BAD STUFF: Kind of disgusting at points. And a bit pointless. Some of the jokes were pretty bad. Even some jokes I’d heard before — I mean, a guy farting when he meets his love, getting embarrassed, and then the girl farts too so now everything’s okay. I feel like I’ve seen that in like 5 movies already.

Definitely not a top tier spoof movie. I still laughed out loud, but Carolyn didn’t as much.

Some of the negative comments on the IMDB forum were pretty funny. “Mass suicide on release date? Who’s in?” “This can’t end well.” “Dude, this can’t *start* well.” “If this succeeds, I hope the Chinese invade us and take us over.”

CONCLUSION: I expected to howl out loud a few times while thinking most of the jokes were lame — and that’s about what I got. Though I had no clue it would disgust me so much that I had to look away from the screen multiple times. That’s a difficult accomplishment.

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 2.6/5 stars. IMDB: 5.6/10. Basically, as low of a generic pass as humanly possible.
Carolyn: Netflix: 2/5 stars. IMDB: 4/10. Not passing.

The native public rating for this movie is: Netflix: 3.2/5 stars. IMDB does not yet have a rating at the time of writing this, but it surely will by the time this is posted only rates this 2.8/10. Wowie.

RECOMMENDATION: Unless you are a spoof-genre comedy movie completist, stay away from this.

SIMILAR MOVIES: Date Movie. Epic Movie. Meet The Spartans. My Big Fat Independent Movie. That is, the worse half of spoof-genre movies. If you want a good one, go watch Not Another Teen Movie, Scary Movie, or even Totally Awesome if you love the 1980s.

Hmm, I never did see Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The Thirteenth.

Hmm, maybe they should have just called this Comedy Movie?
(more…)

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