movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: Schoolgirls try to find pirate treasure. I shit you not.

QUIRKS: Ridiculous girl power adventure comedy mystery. Not everybody’s cup of tea.

PEOPLE: From director Oliver Parker (Dorian Gray (2009), St. Trinian’s 1 (2007), The Importance Of Being Earnest (2002)) and Barnaby Thompson (producer of Wayne’s World, Kids In The Hall:Brain Candy, Coneheads).

Starring Rupert Everett (Prince Charming in the Shrek movies), Colin Firth (Dorian Gray), David Tennant (Doctor Who), and a bunch of girls… From the first movie, Gemma Arterton, Talulah Riley (The Boat That Rocked), Tamsin Egerton, and Sarah Harding. Not that I have any idea who they are. Just a bunch of hot “schoolgirls” who are all actually over 20. Ahh, the warped realities of ‘cinema’…

VISUALS: Plenty of schoolgirls. And a bit o’ action too.

SOUNDTRACK: Bands with girls in the movie in them. I dunno… Apparently they’re more popular in the UK or something. I don’t care.

BAD STUFF: A ridiculous schoolgirl mystery sounds like hell to a lot of people. Also, if you can actually keep track of the individual characters (I can’t), some of the ones from the first movie aren’t in this movie. So no Lily Cole (NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!). No Mischa Barton. Sigh. It’s a sequel. Of course, this whole franchise is a reboot from the original 5 St. Trinian’s movies (1950s-1980s). So there’s plenty of things to dislike here. We just happen to be too distracted by hot “schoolgirls” to notice.

CONCLUSION: Pretty lighthearted, random, and ridiculous. Judging by our ratings, this was better than the original. But I’m not 100% sure if that’s really true. It’s hard to rate consistently. Just more of the same really. Nothing special. Lighthearted fun.

Clint: Netflix: 3.4/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 5.2/10, Netflix: 3.5/5 stars.

RECOMMENDATION: If you can stand this type of shit… Go for it.

SIMILAR MOVIES: Looks like a 3rd movie is coming out in 2010: St. Trinian’s Versus The World.

MOVIE QUOTE: Zoe [emo]: There’s no reason to be scared of death. ‘Cause death is, you know, like life, but all of the crap gets taken out. Like poverty and fascism and Miley Cyrus.

COINCIDENCES: (double coincidence type) (St. Trinians #2, Bro’ Town #6) 2 videos in a row mentioning King/Queen Lear, as well as doing a “My Precious” Lord Of The Rings parody.

Mood: annoyed
Music: Voivod – Negatron