movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] [Wikipedia page]

PLOT SUMMARY: An origin story. The creation a heroic monster that will defend Tromaville from evil — via ultraviolence.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Vigilante murderer hailed as hero by a town of polluters.

PEOPLE: Directed by Troma founders/presidents Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Hurz.

A bunch of b-rate actors that went nowhere. Some were re-used in other Troma movies, like Class Of Nuke ‘Em High, but even then, that would usually be the final nail in the coffin of their careers. THESE ARE NOT GOOD ACTORS. These remind me of the types of people John Waters would put in his film. Seriously, you can click down the IMDB names and just see how this killed everyone’s career (or, more realistically, these people had no real talent). However, they are quite consistent with each other, and the bad acting does a really good job of painting the crazy world these events occur in.

Gary Schneider at least went on to be part of the douche crew in the b-movie Beach Balls, which I loved growing up.

A notable(?) exception is Patrick Kilpatrick (what a name! he kills himself?). He at least managed to guest star in eps of Nip/Tuck and 24, and had a regular part on Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, and does plenty of movies, like Minority Report. He was the one who screams, “All right everybody, drop your tacos or I’ll blow your brains out.” And this somehow started a acting career that still goes on today. And Michael Russo, who played Rico [of the same gang], managed to play a popcorn vendor in National Treasure 1. He did some horror movies in the 90s, and mostly just works as a stunt coordinator now.

And no, that guy “Slug” isn’t Corey Feldman or Ashton Kutcher (Kelso from That 70’s Show), but damn does he look like them at times. I do think it’s interesting that the guy who plays Cigar Face ends up playing a police sergeant in Toxic Avenger 4. And no, the guy who does the voice (only) for The Toxic Avenger never reprises his role, so the voice is different in future Toxic Avenger movies.

Future Oscar-winner Marisa Tomei is an extra walking out of the shower.

QUIRKS: Camp: Bad acting, campy special effects. TOTAL B-MOVIE. But this is one of the best b-movies ever made! Senseless ULTRA-violence. Things you’ve never seen in a movie before: Kids being run over, shotguns being held to the head of babies (the actor–Patrick Kilpatrick, mentioned above–quit after that scene), hot girls relishing in bloodlust, dogs suffering after being shot. References A Clockwork Orange, Death Race 2000. Tiny Toons Adventures S1E10 (Looking Out For The Little Guy) is a spoof of The Toxic Avenger movie. Spaced (UK) uses Toxic Avenger music in episode #3.

This director’s cut is 12 minutes 40 seconds longer. Yet, none of these scenes described in this page were in the movie we watched! Even though it’s labeled as Unrated Director’s Cut and specifically has an intro by Lloyd Kaufman stating this is the director’s cut! WTF, mang?!?!

VISUALS: Campy special effects. Total gross-outs. Girls going topless. The shit you relish when you’re a kid growing up.

THIS IS A FULLSCREEN, NOT WIDESCREEN movie. If you watch a widescreen version, you’re watching a cropped version. Unless you get the 1988 laserdisc, which is in the original 1.85:1 aspect ratio.

SOUNDTRACK: Corny 1980’s music composed by absolute nobodies. Plus, plenty of use of Grieg’s Night On Bald Mountain — the only classical music I’ve ever moshed to.

MORALS: Vigilante murder is okay, as long as you only kill evil people.

POLITICS: The government is often corrupt.

GOOD STUFF: It’s hilariously horrifying! And quite titillating — the hot blind girl definitely gave a million teens growing up in the 1980s and 1990s a fetish for blind women. After all, no matter how much of a pimply teenager you are, a hot blind girl won’t reject you for being ugly. That just makes her that much more receptive and open, which makes her much more attractive. Praise Toxic Avenger, creator of the blind girl fetish! She was played by Andree Maranda, who released some music under the stage name of Lexy and later became a real-estate agent.

The Lloyd Kaufman audiocommentary is pretty good – lots of DVD extras. I swear, Troma and AdultSwim are the 2 biggest releasers of dvd extras!

BAD STUFF: Some of the most horrible acting you will ever see. You can pretty much open up the IMDB page for every actor in this movie, and see that they ALL rapidly went NOWHERE.

CONCLUSION: This is the classic iconic original Troma horror movie. Hilarious ultra-violence, bad acting and campy dialog that rivals early John Waters, goddamn, I forgot how much I loved this.

RATINGS:
Clint: I’d rated this 3/5 stars on Netflix a few years ago, but I hadn’t seen it in a long time. Seeing it really made me remember how much I loved this movie, so now it gets 5 stars: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10. “It was a fun movie, and it had horrifying moments.”

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 5.8/10, Netflix: 3.0/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.6/5 stars–Netflix definitely knows I like this more than average.)

RECOMMENDATION: If you’ve never seen a Troma movie, THIS IS *THE* ONE TO START WITH.

SIMILAR MOVIES: Most old Troma and Lloyd Kaufman-directed movies have the same feel as this — but make sure to check out The Toxic Avenger 2 (which we watched in 2007), 3, 4, and The Toxic Avengers animated series. And The Toxic Avenger 5: Toxic Twins is scheduled for 2011, a full 27 years after the original!!!! There is also a remake of the original movie in progress as well, scheduled for 2013 release. There are also Toxic Avenger comics, a novel, and musical stage adaptations!

But really, while there may be movies *similar* to this one, there’s nothing exactly like the original Toxic Avenger!

MOVIE QUOTES:

The Authorities: “It’s not human, it’s an ‘it’. You KILL an ‘it’.”

Cigar Face: Honest cops are all alike. A bunch of fucking faggots.

Cigar Face: I owe you for the other night monster faggot. So now we’re going to give you six new assholes. Compliments of me Cigar Face.

Leroy: All right everybody, drop your tacos or I’ll blow your brains out.

FRIENDS’ RATINGS: I assume a lot of my friends love this movie, especially the SubGeniuses. Sweetness McGee says: “Let me count the ways I love this movie…”

Mood: moodlessness
Music: NoFX – Drug Free America