September 2013

OBAMA ADMINISTRATION: Top 45 Lies in Obama’s Speech at UN | Washington’s Blog

Pretty good analysis.

It’s sad that George Fucking Bush is at this point seeming to be a more honest president than Obama.

Bush did bad and mostly admitted it as him just being an asshole with an asshole agenda; Obama does the same shit but tries to frame it as if he’s not doing it.


 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Satan’s power is AWESOME!!

QUIRKS: Based on a Marvel Comic book.

PEOPLE: Directed by Mark Steven Johnson (who wrote the alright Elektra and directed & wrote excellent Daredevil movies, and also wrote Grumpy Old Men, which I never saw).

Ghost Rider was played by Nicholas Cage (who has a Ghost Rider tattoo in real life, that had to be covered up! IRONY!). He also wrote some sections of the script. His stage name, Cage, is named after Luke Cage. He named his son Kal-El in real life! He lobbied hard to be in this movie. (Plus, I hear he needs money…)
The devil was played by Peter Fonda. Quite an interesting devil compared to normal.
Young Roxanne was played by Raquel Alessi, who was in Miss March. Older Roxanne played by Eva Mendes, who was in the movie Live!.
The caretaker was played by Sam Elliott (The Stranger from The Big Lebowski, Lee Scoresby from The Golden Compass, Up In The Air, Hulk 2003).
Blackheart was played by Wes Bently, who was in Weirdsville.

VISUALS: YESSSSS!!!!!!!!! Wow. I don’t think they could have done a better job on Ghost Rider’s live-action depiction. It was nothing short of epic.

MORALS: Don’t make deals with the devil! And watch out for his pointy clipboard.

Also, there’s a neat moral aspect of someone becoming an evil monster powered by the power of Satan, and turning around and using this power to destroy evil and help good. We were quite reminded of The Toxic Avenger movies, where the evil power of toxic waste creates a monster that is an evil-destroying hero.

GOOD STUFF: The special effects. The total badassery of Ghost Rider. Satan.

BAD STUFF: A few of the common superhero movie tropes are used here in a predictable fashion. “I am legion.. we are mannnny”, could have been better. Some predictable plot points. A lot of people find these types of movies cheesy to begin with. A lot of the dialog is cheesy to people who haven’t read comics. The villains weren’t real villains from the comic, and may as well have come from Smallville. Tons of people hate this film with the burning hate of 1000 suns. Indeed, most of the IMDB forum posts are about people hating this. I’m glad we’re not them.

CONCLUSION: It wasn’t perfect, but it was damn entertaining. The power of Satan compels you! Everyone seemed to hate this one in particular, and we seemed to love this one in particular. This is better than most of the Marvel comic book movies.

Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8.4/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4.6/5 stars. IMDB: 9/10.
Kinda strange how I gave it more stars, but Carolyn gave it more IMDB rating. But I loved it slightly more than her, despite finding possibly more flaw in it.

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 5.2/10, Netflix: 3.2/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.4/5 stars, but no, we loved this!). Why was this so low rated?!?!

RECOMMENDATION: If you liked the DareDevil movie, this is by the same director, with its similarly dark moments (power of Satan and all). That might be a good litmus test, though there are plenty of people who liked one while hating the other. If you consistently enjoy comic book movies, check this out.

SIMILAR MOVIES: A sequel is in the works for 2011. Actually, it should be out by the time this review is posted :)

MOVIE QUOTE: Johnny Blaze: My daddy once said, “If you don’t make a choice, the choice makes you.”

COINCIDENCES: (Ghost Rider, Flapjack S3E05) 2 videos in a row with souls flying around, mention of sulfur and brimstone, plus in Flapjack they drink candy out of alcohol glasses.


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 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] I got this because I feel I should try to watch as many IMDB Top 250 movies as I can stand.

PLOT SUMMARY: Here’s a synopsis of the whole movie.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Raped child grows up to become adult murder victim.

PEOPLE: Directed by Clint Eastwood. Which, for me, is generally a bad thing. I thought The Unforgiven suuuucked. With Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburn, Laura Linney (The Truman Show), Marcia Gay Harden

QUIRKS: A drama, a murder mystery, a story of revenge.

MORALS: [highlight for spoilers] Before you go on a vigilante revenge spree, make sure you know someone’s guilt beyond any doubt. Also, don’t narc on your spouse, even if you think they are guilty. Your loyalty to your life partner should exceed your subservience to justice and the state. Love’s binds should be far greater than those of society, ethics, or morals.

GOOD STUFF: Great cast.

BAD STUFF: Depressing story.

CONCLUSION: We liked this by virtue of it being a well-done story, but for whatever reason, Clint Eastwood movies just don’t ring with me. Loss and despair is not my favorite topic. Solving murders is not my favorite movie activity. Carolyn liked this more than me, though.


Carolyn & I disagreed more than usual:

Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7.6/10 (a low 8).

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 8.0/10 (Top 250: #212), Netflix: 3.8/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 2.7/5 stars–it knows we dislike Clint Eastwood or something!!).

RECOMMENDATION: If you like Clint Eastwood movies, IMDB Top 250 movies, or movies with a bunch of great actors, check this out. If you dislike depressing murder mysteries, don’t check this out.


Jimmy Markum: I know in my soul I contributed to your death.

Sean Devine: The reality is we’re still 11 year old boys locked in a cellar imagining what our lives would have been if we’d escaped.

FRIEND’S RATINGS: Chris Y’s girlfriend Judy loved it. (more…)

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I'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Not available on Netflix.]

PLOT SUMMARY: A sports comedy mockumentary — about professional Rock, Scissor, Paper leagues.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Sports suck…even when they’re pretend.

VISUALS: Low budget mockumentary feel.

BAD STUFF: A lot of jokes just for the sake of being ridiculous… But it’s almost like they were chosen random, or poorly improvised. A lot of it falls flat. It simply isn’t funny most of the time. Bad, bad jokes.

In many ways, this is some of the most retarded shit I’ve ever seen in my life. But they’re going for that. But not in a way that works well, like, say, Tim And Eric‘s parody of bad local access television.

GOOD STUFF: The ridiculousness. I mean, really. This is incredibly ridiculous. That’s the ONLY redeeming quality.

It’s really a sport too! James O pointed me out to this:

CONCLUSION: A poor mockumentary movie, with many failing, un-funny jokes. Impossible to watch in one sitting — it took us 4, because we had to keep turning it off for being too awful. The utter ridiculousness, however, kept us turning it back on the following day.

Clint: Netflix: 2.6/5 stars. IMDB: 4/10. Yes, I’m rating this movie as more on the bad side than good–but I still enjoyed it. Parts of it anyway. Thus a 2.6/5  – a combination of “didn’t like” and “like”.
Carolyn: Netflix: 2.6/5 stars. IMDB: 4/10. Same.

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 5.2/10.

RECOMMENDATION: If you watch this movie, watch it in 20 minute segments or so. It’s too awful to watch all the way through. But it’s also so ridiculous, that I couldn’t permanently abort it. But if you really want a funny sports comedy, watch The Foot Fist Way instead. Or Blades Of Glory.

MOVIE QUOTE: “People think that the only strategy to the game is to play random, but THEY’RE WRONG! If you play random, you will win 1/3rd of the time, tie 1/3rd of the time, and lose 1/3rd of the time. You can’t play random if you want to be a champion.”
-paraphrased interview with mock league champion in movie.

COINCIDENCES: (real life, Rock,Paper,Scissors:The Way Of The Tosser) Character introduced and described a nail clipper while Clint was holding and using one.
(Bro’ Town #32, Rock,Paper,Scissors:The Way Of The Tosser) Two videos a row with the game Rock Paper Scissors.


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