movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] The requisite straight-to-dvd sequel of the movie we reviewed last night. Watched with TwoBeans, who also watched 30 Days Of Night 1 with us.

PEOPLE: Directed by Ben Katai, who did not direct the original, but did direct the two spinoff web-series. He also co-wrote it with Steve Niles, who did at least do the original comic and screenplay for 30 Days Of Night 1.

Stella is no longer played by the original actress, and is now replaced with less-hot Kiele Sanchez (Lost). The new vampire-hunting crew includes Rhys Coiro (Sean Hillinger from 24, Entourage) and Diora Baird (Stan Helsing, Young People Fucking, Fifty Pills, Wedding Crashers). The vampires are now led by a sexy female named Lilith — played by Mia Kirshner (The L Word, Mandy from 24 S4, Not Another Teen Movie, Exotica, Party Monster, Dracula:The Series). The douchebag human who wants to be a vampire is played by mostly-TV actor Troy Ruptash. Good vampire Dane [not Cook, fortunately] is played by Ben Cotton (Fweddy in Stan Helsing).

PLOT SUMMARY: The surviving wife is trying to convince the world that what happened in the first movie was caused by vampires. Nobody believes her… But she definitely gets the attention of the vampires.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Woman fails to convince world she is not crazy; is killed by her husband.

QUIRKS: Still based on the comics… Though some changes were made. In the comics, Dane actually hunts Stella, then they do it and fall in love.

Way more like a vampire/Blade type movie than a zombie-type vampire movie like the last one. This is not a survival siege; this is a hunt. More like most “Hellsing-style” vampire movies.

VISUALS: Lilith is really hot.

MORALS: [highlight for spoilers] Don’t be a dumb bitch and assume you can resurrect your vampire husband and NOT have him bite you. Stupid bitch.

POLITICS: The government covers up shit like this!

GOOD STUFF: When they shot that first vampire’s head a bunch, completely eviscerating his entire brain… that was really their high point… Then it was all downhill from there.

BAD STUFF:

Definitely predictable at points. For instance, the [highlight for spoilers] thumb dislocation-related escape was totally predicted by Carolyn.

Amber’s drastic and sudden personality change was pretty lame. First she’s tough, then suddenly she’s helpless. It felt really contrived and forced.

Why not have a portable UV-ray gun? Why still use bullets?

The ending death was way too easy. And I feel like I’ve seen that exact same kill style before. And wouldn’t the vampires hear her heart beating anyway?

CONCLUSION: An expectedly disappointing sequel to the original. Psuedo-passable, but quite flawed.

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 5/10.
Two Beans: Netflix: 2/5 stars. IMDB: 3/10. “It was like Blade, except these people didn’t know how to kick ass.”

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 4.6/10, Netflix: 3.0/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.4/5 stars).

RECOMMENDATION: Vampire completists might still want to check this out … but don’t expect to be impressed.

SIMILAR MOVIES: Someone said this was a shittier version of Blade 3 .. haha

Mood: laughing
Music: The Misfits – Halloween II

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] The requisite straight-to-dvd sequel of the movie we reviewed last night. Watched with TwoBeans, who also watched 30 Days Of Night 1 with us.

PEOPLE: Dirtected by Ben Katai, who did not direct the original, but did direct the two spinoff web-series. He also co-wrote it with Steve Niles, who did at least do the original comic and screenplay for 30 Days Of Night 1.

Stella is no longer played by the original actress, and is now replaced with less-hot Kiele Sanchez (Lost). The new vampire-hunting crew includes Rhys Coiro (Sean Hillinger from 24, Entourage) and Diora Baird (Stan Helsing, Young People Fucking, Fifty Pills, Wedding Crashers). The vampires are now led by a sexy female named Lilith — played by Mia Kirshner (The L Word, Mandy from 24 S4, Not Another Teen Movie, Exotica, Party Monster, Dracula:The Series). The douchebag human who wants to be a vampire is played by mostly-TV actor Troy Ruptash. Good vampire Dane [not Cook, fortunately] is played by Ben Cotton (Fweddy in Stan Helsing).

PLOT SUMMARY: The surviving wife is trying to convince the world that what happened in the first movie was caused by vampires. Nobody believes her… But she definitely gets the attention of the vampires.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Woman fails to convince world she is not crazy; is killed by her husband.

QUIRKS: Still based on the comics… Though some changes were made. In the comics, Dane actually hunts Stella, then they do it and fall in love.

Way more like a vampire/Blade type movie than a zombie-type vampire movie like the last one. This is not a survival siege; this is a hunt. More like most “Hellsing-style” vampire movies.

VISUALS: Lilith is really hot.

MORALS: [highlight for spoilers] Don’t be a dumb bitch and assume you can resurrect your vampire husband and NOT have him bite you. Stupid bitch.

POLITICS: The government covers up shit like this!

GOOD STUFF: When they shot that first vampire’s head a bunch, completely eviscerating his entire brain… that was really their high point… Then it was all downhill from there.

BAD STUFF:

Definitely predictable at points. For instance, the [highlight for spoilers] thumb dislocation-related escape was totally predicted by Carolyn.

Amber’s drastic and sudden personality change was pretty lame. First she’s tough, then suddenly she’s helpless. It felt really contrived and forced.

Why not have a portable UV-ray gun? Why still use bullets?

The ending death was way too easy. And I feel like I’ve seen that exact same kill style before. And wouldn’t the vampires hear her heart beating anyway?

CONCLUSION: An expectedly disappointing sequel to the original. Psuedo-passable, but quite flawed.

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 5/10.
Two Beans: Netflix: 2/5 stars. IMDB: 3/10. “It was like Blade, except these people didn’t know how to kick ass.”

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 4.6/10, Netflix: 3.0/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.4/5 stars).

RECOMMENDATION: Vampire completists might still want to check this out … but don’t expect to be impressed.

SIMILAR MOVIES: Someone said this was a shittier version of Blade 3 .. haha

Mood: laughing
Music: The Misfits – Halloween II