movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] Another movie night with Parthena, in the continued theme of mirror-related horror movies.

PLOT SUMMARY: Goth daughter movies into house haunted by demon-possessed mirror, eventually gaining some “powers”, before things go predictably shitty.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Goth/Punk culture creates dark-arts-using murderers.

PEOPLE: Starring Rainbow Harvest, a Winona Ryder-in-Beetlejuice lookalike. It really didn’t hurt to spend most of the movie watching her. I didn’t think she was all that bad compared to the non-lead characters; dunno why her career imploded. She played a character named “Poo”, and then her career went “Poof”, into “Poop”.

Her mom is played by Karen Black, who has been in almost 150 movies, including House Of 1000 Corpses, where she plays Mother Firefly.

Her new best friend is Kristin Dattilo (Detective Barbara Gianna in Dexter, 6 eps of The Office, Intolerable Cruelty).

Some interesting minor roles. Yvonne De Carlo (Lily Munster) has a tiny, unnoticeable role here — this was one of the last 10 things she did before her death.

William Sanderson — LARRY FROM THE NEWHART SHOW (!!!), as in the guy who said, “I’m Larry, and this is my brother Darryl, and my other brother Darryl” — plays another minor character, a Vietnam vet. I had no clue he was in True Blood or Deadwood. He’s also in Mirror Mirror 2, but playing a different character; a common thing for this franchise. All 4 Mirror Mirror movies seem to have one actor who is in two in a row, playing a different character each time. How confusing it must be to actually like these movies.

Stephen Tobolowsky is quite recognizable with his glasses and almost Ben-Stein-ien voice. He was Kristen Bell‘s dad in Heroes, remember? He’s in a lot of TV shows, and movies such as The Time Traveler’s Wife, Buried (voice only), Garfield, Freaky Friday 2003, Groundhog Day, Single White Female, Basic Instinct. It’s kind of weird that he now gets more work in TV than movies.

The chick with the big tits who was running for president, and got the movie its (I assume, since I saw bewbs) R-rating, as some random girl in A Midsummer Night’s Rave. I doubt I could spot her (Charlie Spradling) again.

Some dude in 442 eps of All My Children was in this. Wow. This movie killed his movie career, I guess. He did one more the same year, played an ex-junkie at Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion, and now is stuck on All My Children til the end of time. The sad thing is, he probably has the most reliable career of anyone in this film.

This film killed many careers – the director only ever made a TV movie after this, and then went to directing TV, culminating in a Xena episode that was the last thing he ever directed. And if I recall correctly, it was one of the worser Xena episodes. Because Xena actually kicks a lot of ass IF you watch it from the beginning, in order.

QUIRKS: Demonic mirror possession. Goth culture alienation. Superficial parenting.

Body count: 8

Bad acting. Bad dialog. Cheesy production values.

VISUALS: Drab; this movie may be 1990 but it looks like 1983.

SOUNDTRACK: Who the fuck is Jim Walker, and why was someone asking for mp3s of it in the IMDB forum? And why the fuck did someone else have them?

WILHELM SCREAM: …would have improved this movie if there had been one!

MORALS: Was there a moral? Power corrupts? But they barely showed her having any power! How about: Give peoples’ mirrors back when you move into their house. BUT WAIT! When we moved into OUR house, they left a mirror by mistake, and wanted to take it, but realized it was my house now and they were asking to take what was now mine, and suddenly said, “You keep. Is gift.”, and left. Guess I’m safe. Or maybe they wanted me to have it because it was possessed by a demon.

GOOD STUFF: Main character is a goth/punk chick.

BAD STUFF??: Well, the ending is kind of depressing if you really think about it. [highlight for spoilers] Her mom starts of superficial, but warms up to her just in time to be killed Of course, if this is a horror, bad things happening might be considered good, because they increase your horror and reaction.

And I’m not talking about the very-very-very end. That was kind of neat, actually.

CONCLUSION: Sub-par mirror-themed horror. Worth some laughs at the bad acting during the first half of the movie, as well as some of the bad dialogue. It picks up a bit, though, but never really satisfies.

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 2/5 stars. IMDB: 4/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 2/5 stars. IMDB: 4/10. “It was just barely below passing.”
Parthena: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 5/10. “I found most of this pretty entertaining despite horrible special effects and it ending in a depressing way.”

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 5.2/10, Netflix: 2.8/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 2.6/5 stars).

And the experience of watching it with Parthena and Carolyn — is much higher rated than the movie itself. Especially the things Parthena would laugh out loud at :)

RECOMMENDATION: Only for the most hardcore mirror-related horror movie completionists who want to watch a mirror-related horror movie and kind of make fun of it.

SIMILAR MOVIES: Mirrors, Dark Mirror, The Broken — they’re all WAYYYYYY better than this. Of course, you can opt for Mirror, Mirror 2: Raven Dance (yes, they started putting commas in the title, even though the original doesn’t have it! WTF!), Mirror, Mirror 3: The Voyeur (which apparently is the worst of the 4, and has lots of soft-porn scenes), and Mirror, Mirror 4: Reflection (yes, 10 years later they were still making these. WTF!)

MOVIE QUOTE:

Mom, about the family dog: “I always thought of it as a person!” Really? If you thought of “it” as a person, wouldn’t you say “she”, then?!?!?!?! Then again, Carolyn brought up the point that this may be part of characterizing the mother as shallow — just like her affinity to wear a blonde wig during much–but not all–of the movie.

COINCIDENCES: Two horror movies 2 nights in a row with bathtub drowning scenes. This, and The Ring 2.Mood: annoyed at Homesite Insurance – would never use them again!
Music: Steve Kilbey – Providence (live) (acoustic)