PLOT SUMMARY: What if a man from the Upper Paleolithic had survived until the present day? A retiring scholar tries to convince his colleagues that he is a 14,000 year old immortal cave man.
PEOPLE: Written by Jerome Bixby, who wrote 4 Star Trek (original) episodes, including the mirror universe where everyone has a beard, and the episode about a 6,000 year old man; a similar premise to this movie in some ways. He also wrote one Twilight Zone ep (from the original series) — anyone who has ever feared being “wished away to the cornfield” knows what I’m talking about. It was important enough that The Simpsons parodied it in Treehouse Of Horror II. “It’s real good that you done that.” About all he’s done since then is the 3rd segment of the 1983 Twilight Zone movie, 1 ep in the 2003 Twilight Zone series … And this movie. This is likely because he he died in 1998, and as a corpse is unable to keep writing. This was his last work before his death.
Only a few actors in this movie. Main character John Oldman (get it? old man) is David Lee Smith (Walter from Fight Club, Zodiac, CSI:Miami). Main skeptic is William Katt (The Greatest American Hero!!!), who plays a creepy teacher who’s dating a student way too young for him (Alexis Thorpe, who was in American Pie 3:American Wedding, 1 ep of Nip/Tuck, and 238 eps of Days Of Our Lives). Token black guy is Tony Todd (The Candyman from Candyman 1-2, Rev. Zombie from Hatchet 1-2, Final Destination 1-5, 7 eps of Star Trek Voyager/TNG/DS9), who plays a really mellow and open-minded, easy-going guy (often the voice of reason in this movie). Christian skeptic is Ellen Crawford (Nurse Lydia Wright from 113 eps of E.R.). John Oldman’s girlfriend is Annika Peterson (Shannon O’Reilly from 2 eps of Oz). The irrational shrink is Richard Riehle — who totally reminds me of the “I’ll make your bub-bubs bounce” / “this is what I do, I sit on you” guy. He was in Office Space, Smiley Face, Beach Party At The Threshold Of Hell, Hatchet, Palindromes (yuck), Deuce Bigalow:Male Gigolo, was the principle in the Ferris Bueller TV series (what lost out to Parker Lewis Can’t Lose), and in general has a ton of small roles; he was almost Cliff Claven in Cheers. We also have John Billingsley (Dr. Phlox from 98 eps of Star Trek:Enterprise, 2012, Michael Lathan from 3 eps of 24 Season 7, Mike Spencer from True Blood).
UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers]→Jesus, incapable of loving his girlfriend, abandons all his friends…AGAIN!
QUIRKS: Talking. All talking. This whole movie is basically a bunch of people in one room talking. A Melvin Goes To Dinner type thing. Incredible dialogue covering history, religion, biology, and more.
VISUALS: Shot with camcorders. Makes it look more like an 80’s film than a 2007 film.
SOUNDTRACK: Not really.
MORALS: A crazy enough truth will force you to lie. Telling the wrong truth will cause society to turn against you, even if it’s true.
POLITICS: Religion is bullshit.
Also, the producer thanked the bittorrent pirates for raising the profile of this film and ultimately making it money!
GOOD STUFF: Incredible dialogue!! What a concept! Thought provoking! Interesting simply by the words; this could easily work as a text-only story as well.
BAD STUFF: No action, no explosions, no special effects. This is dry sci fi. I don’t mind the change of pace, but the lack of real excitement beyond the dialogue is perhaps what kept me from giving it a full 5 stars.
CONCLUSION: A very thought-provoking, completely conversation-driven movie about an immortal man, and the extreme implications of his immortality. It’s rare to have a movie that is COMPLETELY conversation — 8 people in a room just talking for 90 minutes. No sex. No CGI. No explosions. It’s even rarer for such a movie to not be at all boring (though SOME would be bored by this; Michael Bay is necessary). If you like older sci-fi — this is a good movie much in the vein of older, less production-driven sci-fi. They even shot it with camcorders so it looks more like a 1980’s movie, even though it was made in 2007. Good stuff.
RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 4.4/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 8.0/10 (rather high for IMDB), Netflix: 3.5/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 4/5 stars).
RECOMMENDATION: Some Christians get offended at this. GFY!
SIMILAR MOVIES: Hard to say!
MOVIE QUOTE: This movie is full of good dialogue, but it’s not very quotable. It’s all good because of the context of the discussion/situation; the lines don’t really stand alone as strong quotes, per se.
FRIENDS’ RATINGS: Dad liked it enough to recommend it to me as something I’d like.
PEOPLE: Starring: The Hobo is Rutger Hauer (Roy Batty from Blade Runner, Cardinal Roark from Sin City, Earle from Batman Begins, Keeler from Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind, Lothos from Buffy The Vampire Slayer The Movie). The prostitute with a heart of gold is Molly Dunsworth (this seems to be her only real movie role).
PLOT SUMMARY: A hobo wants to buy a lawnmower to start a lawn mowing business… But instead is [more or less] forced to buy a shotgun instead, where he begins cleansing the town of its criminals.
UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Hobo engages in illegal vigilante justice.
QUIRKS: Violent. Campy. Dark. Gory. Over-the-top. Ridiculous dialog. All the elements of your classic b-movie. Read the parent’s guide on IMDB for a breakdown of all the crazy shit that happens in this movie.
VISUALS: Gory and over-the-top, shot in “technicolor”, with unrealistic, bright colors, much like the film stock of the 1970s/1980s.
MORALS: Sometimes violence is the only solution.
POLITICS: I would love to hear how gun control would have saved that town. ;)
GOOD STUFF: Black & white – no moral middle-ground here. It’s pure evil vs. pure good. And The Plague? TOTAL BADASS MOFOS. Like if Gwar were real. The director wants to do a movie focusing on The Plague… Damn, I really hope that happens!
BAD STUFF: Campy. Corny dialog. But this is on purpose! Duh!
Carolyn didn’t seem to get that. Not having the same b-movie upbringing that I had, she cheesed my buzz by repeatedly sighing in frustration at the movie.
CONCLUSION: A great throwback to old gore/exploitation/Troma films like The Toxic Avenger. Cut from the same cloth as Machete and Black Dynamite.
RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 2.6/5 stars. IMDB: 5.6/10. “It picked up a bit in the middle and end, but it was not as good as Machete was. Maybe my expectations were too high.”
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.5/10, Netflix: 3.8/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.6/5 stars–hmmm).
SIMILAR MOVIES:Black Dynamite and Machete — both being modern homages to old-school b/exploitation flicks. I’m also reminded of The Toxic Avenger, though you could compare this film to scores of old movies like that.
MOVIE QUOTES:
Hobo: I’m gonna sleep in your bloody carcasses tonight!
Hobo: Put the knife away, kid… or I’ll use it to cut welfare checks from your rotten skin!
Drake: When life gives you razor blades… you make a baseball bat, covered in razor blades.
“They’re gonna make comic books out of my hate crimes.”
“I’m gonna wash this blood off with your blood.”
FRIENDS’ RATINGS: People seemed to talk about it existing more than their reactions. Another movie that everyone talks about before seeing, but not after. Puzzling.
PEOPLE: N00b director/writer. Dale is played by mostly-TV actor Tyler Labine (Lewis the computer-fucker from Control Alt Delete). Tucker is played by Alan Tudyk (the pilot from Firefly, so hilarious as a redneck hillbilly). Ally is played by Katrina Bowden (Cerie from 30 Rock, Ms. Tasty from Sex Drive, Holly from Ratko:The Dictator’s Son). Chad (the real douchebag of the movie) is played by Jesse Moss (Final Destination 3, Ginger Snaps).
PLOT SUMMARY: College kids go camping in redneckville — and are totally creeped out by the 2 redneck main characters, Tucker and Dale. Misunderstandings ensue, whereby the college kids THINK Tucker and Dale are trying to kill them. But they are not. There is no actual monster or villain in this movie! At least, not at first.
UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers]→College education fails to educate kids on how not to kill themselves.
QUIRKS: A horror-based comedy movie. Usually, horror-based comedies are spoof movies that spoof a bunch of known horror tropes. But this is a legitimately unique story.
VISUALS: There are gruesome deaths, just like in any horror movie — but they are actually more unexpected here, because none of this should have happened. This whole movie is about misunderstanding.
MORALS: Don’t judge people by their appearance!
GOOD STUFF: Tucker and Dale are hilarious characters. The misunderstandings that fuel the plot, although tragic, were comedy gold.
BAD STUFF: Some people are offended by the stereotyping of rednecks — or college kids for that matter. But the whole point of this movie is that stereotypes are not the sole way you should judge someone! Reminds me of the feminists who were all pissed of at Sucker Punch, even though it was about the abuse of women!
CONCLUSION: A great horror-spoof comedy of epic misunderstandings. Exceeded our expectations, and deserving of it’s high 7.6/10 rating on IMDB. And a great chance to see Alan Tudyk, the pilot from Firefly, in a comedic redneck role.
Carolyn: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8.6/10. “That was a different take on the normal horror movie, and I enjoyed it. Crazy deaths!!! Misunderstandings and miscommunications… Don’t make assumptions, and panic and freak out.”
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 7.6/10, Netflix: 4.2/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was actually lower–3.1/5 stars–a rare FAIL from the Netflix recommendation engine! Why?!).
RECOMMENDATION: Definitely worth seeing!
SIMILAR MOVIES: Not really similar, but Dead & Breakfast has some slight similarities. This movie actually turns the tables against movies like Wrong Turn and The Hills Have Eyes, by making the cultured city folk the “bad guys” (to the extent that bad guys exist in this movie).
This is a sequel to a post I made 7.5 years ago, the last time I built a computer (“Hades”) from scratch. The only parts that failed from my last build are all built by companies that are now out of business (Abit, OCZ), so that’s good. (I don’t count harddrives, those must eventually fail.) My new computer will be named Thailog, and will be composed of:
SECONDARY RAM (PURCHASE #3) THAT WOULDN’T WORK ($10.30 to return):
Crucial 16GB Kit Ballistix Sport (2x8GB) 288-Pin DDR4 2400mHz (PC4-19200) CL16 (16-16-16) 1.2V non-ECC unbuffered Memory Kit (Model BLS2K8G4D240FSA)
$149.
TERTIARY RAM (PURCHASE #5) THAT WOULDN’T WORK: Crucial Ballistix Sport (1x4GB). Computer could run 1 of these, 2 of these, 3 of these, 4 of these, and 6 of these, but NOT 5 or 7 of these, goddamnit. And my CPU cooler blocks one of the 8 slots.
SUMMARY:
$1,514.92 ($1559.92 initially with $45 back in rebates).
CPU, CPU cooler & SSD from SuperBiiz.
Case, Power Supply, Motherboard, RAM, & Videocard from NewEgg (2 items only cheaper due to rebates).
[IMDB link] [Netflix link] [Like on Facebook] [Official site] Recommended by my Dad.
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