May 2015

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link] [Wikipedia link] [Official site]

More time travel!

Yes, please!

Recommended by Compn, who said, “A bit uneven but this is good because it flies by all plot holes at breakneck nerd speed!”

PLOT SUMMARY: “It’s complicated.”


Yes. THERE ARE NINE FUCKING EXPLICIT TIMELINES (plus a set of implied, uncounted timelines). Not that we had any idea about this when the movie was over. We knew that there were, perhaps, 2 or 3 explicit ones (and all the implicit ones).

Yes. Very confusing.

BACKWARD PLOT SUMMARY: I… My brain is too hurt to even begin to think about that. 5 points to anyone who can summarize this plot, backward, in a way that makes sense and is funny.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): Work project leads to complications.

PEOPLE: Written and directed by some dude who’s done nothing else (Shane Carruth), starring a bunch of people nobody’s ever seen — most of them ONLY in this movie.

QUIRKS: Time travel. Engineering. Confusion. Low ($7,000) budget. Jarring editing. Crazy causality.

VISUALS: Kinda low-budget looking, actually. This is a movie where the flashiness takes place in the tingle in your mind, not in the production quality.

MORALS: Don’t time travel. (“Don’t put the universe in a tube.” -Tim And Eric)

GOOD STUFF: If you have a technical background, you will appreciate how much engineering talk there is in the beginning, before the plot really starts to develop.

BAD STUFF: If you do not have a technical background, you will be annoyed at how much engineering talk there is in the beginning, before the plot really starts to develop.

Seriously though — a lot of the unique aspects of this movie can be taken for good or bad, depending on what kind of person you are. Things go by at breakneck speed. Some who don’t understand it think it’s pretentious, but it’s not. It’s just confusing.

CONCLUSION: A great mindfuck, and a very dense movie to work your mind around. Almost certainly best with repeated viewings.

Clint: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10. “I think it would go up after a second watching, maybe to 5/5 stars, 8/10.”

The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 6.9/10, Netflix: 3.2/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.3/5 stars–correct that we were higher than average, but still way off–too low).

RECOMMENDATION: Watch this movie twice. Don’t expect to get it all the first time you watch it. After the first viewing, study the timeline graph above. Read the IMDB FAQ. If you have the time, read this article. Get it in your head. It’s going to need to simmer for awhile to be properly understood.

SIMILAR MOVIES: There are some confusing time travel movies out there — but nothing quite as confusing as this one. Even something like Summer Time Machine Blues doesn’t come close. The movie Triangle is actually even more confusing than your average time travel movie — but this is even more confusing than that! This is the biggest time travel mindfuck of all!


Aaron: “Man, are you hungry? I haven’t eaten since later this afternoon.”

“…they knew that the easiest way to be exploited is to sell something they did not yet understand. So they kept quiet.”

Aaron: “You want to put my camcorder inside the box that’s so dangerous we can’t look into it?!”

Abe: “If you ditch work this afternoon, and promise to do the few small things I ask you; I will in return show you the most important thing that any living organism has ever witnessed.” (more…)

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: Younger brother prince is a jealous dickhead. He needs a coming-of-age story to turn him into proper royalty.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Brother’s jealousy drives him to heroism.

PEOPLE: Directed by David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express). Written by Danny McBride (The Foot Fist Way) and Ben Best (The Foot Fist Way).

Starring Danny McBride (The Foot Fist Way, Up In The Air, Fanboys, Superbad, Observe And Report, Land Of The Lost, Due Date, Despicable Me), who’s funniness level tends to vary; he’s never quite been as funny as he was as the star of The Foot Fist Way. Also starring James Franco (127 Hours, The Green Hornet, Harry Osborn from the Spider-Man movies), Natalie Portman, and Zooey Deschanel. Rasmus Hardiker, who plays the wussy male character Courtney — is in that awful CGI-using British sketch comedy show The Wrong Door.

If you thought that Toby Jones looked familiar playing the diminutive Julie character — it’s because he was Dobby from Harry Potter (as well as a bursar in St. Trinian’s 1-2, and Karl Rove in W.)

VISUALS: Zooey Deschanel in bondage? Check.

GOOD STUFF: A nice mix of raunchy, irreverent comedy, mixed with fantasy questing.

BAD STUFF: Could have been funnier. A lot of the dialog was improvised, which explains why some of the jokes didn’t pack as much of a punch as they could have.

CONCLUSION: While a lot of people hated this movie, we liked it — just not a lot. It was a passable night’s entertainment for 2 people who were too tired to do anything else, and not energetic enough to sit through a “real” movie.

Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 6/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 5.8/10, Netflix: 3.5/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 4.5/5 stars–whoa there, it wasn’t THAT funny!).

RECOMMENDATION: For the low-grade comedy lover who just wants to laugh a bit on some dead, tired, uneventful evening.


Leezar: I’m here to steal a beautiful virgin that looks just. Like. Her.
Fabious: And how do you plan to do that?
Leezar: Magic. [cracks neck] Motherfucker. (more…)

 movie coverI'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link] [Netflix link]

PLOT SUMMARY: A Christian’s way-too-hot wife leaves him to hang out with drug dealers and do drugs, so he takes up vigilantism to get back at crime, and get his wife back.

PEOPLE: Written/Directed by James Gunn… Who apparently was an uncredited director for Tromeo And Juliet, and directed the 1st episode of Troma‘s Edge TV, as well as The Tromaville Cafe. He was also Scott in Melvin Goes To Dinner, and Dr. Flem Hocking in The Toxic Avenger 4. I had no idea this had any overlap with Troma people, as this definitely came off as a “real” movie, compared to Troma films (which I absolutely love). I’m glad to see some Troma people can make it up to making non-Troma movies. I totally didn’t catch that they had Troma‘s War on a TV during the movie. Troma‘s War is a great movie; Troma‘s biggest “serious” movie attempt.

Rainn Wilson (Dwight Schrute from The Office) and Ellen Page (Juno from Juno, Ariadne from Inception, Hayley from Hard Candy, Kitty Pride/Shadowcat from X-Men 3–a better choice than the dumb actress they had in X-Men 1-2). Ellen is only getting hotter and hotter. Can’t wait to see what she looks like when she’s 35. Also: Live Tyler and Kevin Bacon.

BACKWARD PLOT SUMMARY: [highlight for spoilers] Christian superhero hooks up with a woman, but she leaves him, then he stops being a superhero, and she comes back to him.

UNCOMFORTABLE PLOT SUMMARY (inspired by this): [highlight for spoilers] Psychotic vigilante Christian takes law into own hands, fails to get back wife, causes the only girl who would ever fuck him to be shot in the head.

QUIRKS: Realistic non-superpower super hero movie. Mental instability. Violence. Death. This is not a superhero tale for kids.

VISUALS: Not too much going on… But Ellen Page is getting hotter and hotter!


GOOD STUFF: This movie takes directions the viewer would NOT expect it to take. You will be surprised and shocked.

Also: Best “rape” scene ever! Who ever knew that the guy who played Dwight Schrute would be in such a hot sex scene? Bwahahaha. But it is disturbing how many people say it’s not rape. It’s definitely in the grey area, a bit more on the rape side than the not rape side.

BAD STUFF: People who take this at face value and miss the point.

CONCLUSION: That movie… was…. jesus…. that was really fucking dark. oh my god. It’s a comedy, yet it’s REALLY fucking dark. Takes you places you really don’t expect. This is compared to Kick-Ass a lot, but it’s really more like Special/Defendor meets Observe And Report. But dark. So fucking dark. Oh my god. But also funny. This movie is FUUUCKED UP. Special is great, but Special lacks the comedy this movie has. Yet this movie is way darker. Go figure. Yea — you really won’t know what you’re getting into until you watch it!

Carolyn: “Yeah, that movie was… yeah… really dark and sad… Reminded me of the movie Special, but it was darker than Special. Definitely *NOT* for kids…”

Clint: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8.6/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 9/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: IMDB: 7.2/10, Netflix: 3.7/5 stars (Netflix‘s predicted rating for us was 3.9/5 stars–a bit low of a guess, Netflix).


The movie Super Capers was lighthearted compared to this.
The movie Kick-Ass was a bit more comical, but about as dark by the end.
The movie Special was almost as dark as this movie, except for the ending.
The movie Defendor was about as comic as this, and almost as dark, but not nearly disturbing.
The movie Observe And Report had a lot in common with this too — even comedic rape.
However, this was probably the darkest and most disturbing of all! (Though funnier than Special.)

MOVIE QUOTE: “It’s all gooshy.”

Hamilton: You got to forget about that bitch. She’s a fucking whore. She sucked more dick than my brother Victor and you saw that faggot come in here once with a cum worm on his beard. He didn’t even know it was there. How you don’t know someone jizzed in your face?

Jacques: You really think that killing me… stabbing me to death is going to change the world?
Frank D’Arbo: I can’t know that for sure, unless I try. (more…)

UPDATE: I wrote this up much more nicely at StackOverflow:


My wife & I have gmail filters set up to forward each others’ facebook emails to each other. It brings a level of postmodern closeness and togetherness and awareness, and indeed keeps us from tripping each other up and having to have redundant exchanges of information. But then Facebook changed, and clicking each others’ links logged each other out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve logged into facebook. Probably at least 100 in 2015 alone, if not more. IT. GETS. OLD. Then one day Carolyn played with the URL and discovered you could remove the last 2 parts of it, and it would bring you to the correct place (assuming you both had access). Then I realized I already had a plugin (chrome plugin id pajiegeliagebegjdhebejdlknciafen) called Redirector that lets you run a regular expression modification on any URLs you visit.  Why the hell was I not using this?   So just do this:

From To
(.*)(*)(&mid=.*) $1$2$3

And the problem is solved. Don’t bitch to me about the 4th set of parenthesis being unnecessary. It looks way better.

BONUS FEATURE: How to make the new flickr look like the old flickr:

From To