September 2015


VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005)

Clint/Carolyn: 8/10.
Clint: 5/5 stars, Carolyn: 4/5 stars.
Native ratings: 3.5/5 Netflix (guess for us=3.4), 6.2/10 IMDB.

What a delightful sequel to Jumanji! And nobody knows about this, because they didn’t call it Jumanji 2! However, it’s basically the exact same movie, but with SPACE instead of JUNGLE. It’s not as dark as Jumanji; a little more lighthearted. But the EXACT SAME FORMULA. This is truly a sequel.

All the Kristen Stewart haters have really missed out on a gem of exploitable screenshots from this movie: Stewart is LITERALLY frozen during a lot of the movie. These could be memes, if someone would just screenshot and capture them.

Directed by Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Elf).
With Dax Sheppart from Without A Paddle, and Tim Robbins as the dad.
And oh, the younger brother in this movie was the kid in the recent Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011) movie, and the older brother was in Journey To The Center Of The Earth (2008) as well as Peeta in The Hunger Games (2012), and Bridge To Terabithia (2007).

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0406375/

VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Jumanji (1995)

8/10 from both of us. 4/5 stars from Carolyn, 5/5 stars from Clint. Carolyn had seenthis before, but Clint had not. Carolyn enjoyed it as much (if not more) as the first time she saw it.

Native rating: 6.5/10, 3.6/5 (Netflix incorrectly guesse3d 3.1/5 for us, thinking we’d like this worse than average. WRONG!)

We are both very much into board games, fantasy, imagination, and darkness, and this movie had it all, so it spoke to us.  I really thought it would be more of a “kiddie” movie, but there were actually a lot of dark, fucked up moments. Homicidal gun maniacs and animals that try to kill children? Nightmare insects? Holy fuck. WAS. NOT. EXPECTING.

I was enthralled. Carolyn adds: “It was more enjoyable watching it with you because you liked it so much.  hehehehe”

Another weird thing: Seeing Kirsten Dunst so young. Too bad she was TOO young, if you catch my drift. But that was made up for with Bebe Neuwirth (Lillith from Cheers/Frasier). SHE IS HOT AS SHIT. Plus this was 15 years ago. Too bad this is a movie about her kids and not her, or we could have stared at her longer. But I digress.

This was way better than I expected. I’d been putting off watching this movie for almost a year (17 years, if you want to get pedantic), but apparently I should have watched it much sooner!

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113497

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VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Cougar Club (2007)

Both of us: 7/10 (IMDB average:4.1/10).
Clint: 4/5 stars, Carolyn: 3/5 stars, Netflix: 2.7/5 stars, with a 3.1/5 guess for us.

So yea, we liked this better than the general public, which is true for most movies.

I’m still trying to figure out why the general public — who spends more money on porn than all non-porn movies combined — tends to rate sex comedies so low. Are they upset they aren’t actual pornos?

This is a movie about cougars, and stars such older women as Fayne Dunaway, Carrie Fisher, Loretta Devine, and other 40-55 year old cougars. But it’s not a porno. There’s barely even nudity in it. The marketeers marketed toward the sex angle to capture peoples’ money, and I think that is what they are angry about. If you watch it not expecting much sex, the sex is simply a pleasant surprise instead of a disappointment.

We found it to be a fun movie. Nothing great, but a good testament about scenesters and creating scenes, and with some fun eroticism to boot. The Cougar Club in this movie could just as easily be ANY self-aggrandizing, private sex-themed party-throwing organization. The parallels were obvious.  And the two bros that were main characters had a good comedic chemistry with each other, even if there was nothing uniuque about it.

But Amanda? God…The Amanda character was SOOOOOOO annoying. The filmmarkers did this on purpose, I think, to highlight the maturity of older women by showing how annoying a younger woman can be.

I did not realize one of the main characters had been in 8 episodes of 24! Weird.

Anyway… I’m glad we finally got around to watching this.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0795361

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