I'd rather be watching TV![IMDB link]

RATINGS:
Clint: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 3/5 stars. IMDB: 7/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: Netflix: 2.9/5 stars, IMDB: 5.0/10.

Clint’s thoughts: Nice that they kind of tied it all in, and that we’ve gotten closer to seeing the original conspiracy that started all this mess in the first place. However, this was probably the least-scary Paranormal Activity ever. It really broke the formula by having a handheld/Go-Pro type camera rather than stationary cameras installed in the house. And while there were a few jump scares (mostly done by good sound mixing) and a decent amount of creepiness by the end — of all the P.A. movies this is the one that shows the most, is the most overt, has the most action and the least silent tension. There is a lot of “young adults talking and goofing off” in this compared to most other P.A. movies.

I feel like each P.A. movie is worse than the last (since 2, at least), but each one shows more of the legend than the last. So in a sense, they are trading goodness for completeness. They are completing the legend a bit more with each movie, but in exchange for that, we lose the sense of mystery that made it scary in the first place.

I still want to see where they go with this, though.

Carolyn’s thoughts: This one didn’t seem as spooky as the first 2 or 3 of these. But it continued to delve into the origin and the witch coven. And of course, me being the wuss I am, I couldn’t sleep alone in the bed after watching it because I am a wuss about scary paranormal stuff. This wasn’t as bad as the time I couldn’t take a nap in broad daylight, but still. That spooky stuff creeps me out. It didn’t help that when I laid down, I adjusted my pillows, and the air blew the curtain in the window next to my head and made the sign that blocks the sunlight make a noise, and then Lemonjello was all high alert looking at the window like, “What was that noise?” and so then I was done. I slept on the couch with Clint. The first two were still the best with the suspenseful creepy paranormal factor. If I recall correctly, part 4 wasn’t that creepy either. These are getting progressively worse.

PEOPLE:

Written & directed by Christopher Landon (writer of Paranormal Activity 2-5, this is the only one he’s directed).

Starring:
Andrew Jacobs as Jesse Arista, the graduate.
Jorge Diaz as Hector Estrella, the best friend.
Gabrielle Walsh as Marisol Vargas, the girl friend.
Renee Victor (Lupita in Weeds, 1 ep of Childrens Hospital) as Irma Arista, the grandma.
Noemi Gonzalez as Evette Arista, the sister.
David Saucedo (Taco Man in 3 eps of some show called SuperTaco… I have no idea…) as Cesar Arista, the father.
Gloria Sandoval (some movie called Who’s Afraid Of Vagina Wolf? I still have no idea…) as Ana Sanchez, the creepy downstairs neighbor.
Carlos Pratts as Oscar Lopez, the valedictorian.
Richard Cabral (Snitch) as Arturo Lopez, the valedictorian’s brother.
Micah Sloat (Paranormal Activity 1-2) as Micah.
Katie Featherston (Paranormal Activity 1-5) as Katie.

QUIRKS: Shakeycam. Annoying kids.

VISUALS: Maybe not as many special effects as the other PA movies.

SOUNDTRACK: Ghost planet.

MORALS: Never play that old game “Simon” from the 1980’s. It is now creepy.Mood: aggressive
Music: Slayer – I’m Gonna Be Your God (I Wanna Be Your Dog)