June 29, 2016
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June 26, 2016
VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: The Three Stooges (2012) [The 3 Stooges remake]
5/5 stars, 9/10 from both of us.
Native rating was much lower: 5.3/10, 3.5/5 stars (3.7 Netflix-guess for us).
This is THE surprise of the year for us.
Two conditions helped create this situation:
1) We lack the hate everyone else has for remakes. Remakes are a way to get more, a way to see things through another view point. They’re no more objectionable than cover songs (and I own many tributes albums).
2) We love the Three Stooges. Even Carolyn. Yes. She’s a girl who loves Three Stooges.
It helps that this was by “Made In Georgia” (georgia.org). That explains the level of awesome here. They also did American Reunion, Archer, Zombieland, The Walking Dead, Ugly Americans, Wanderlust, Footloose (remake), Due Date, Dumb And Dumberer, Road Trip, Ron Ronnie Run, Scream 2, Camilla, The Signal, & Contagion.
But to be fair, they also did X-Men:The Last Stand, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, and Van Wilder 3 (which I think is actually #0, the prequel)..
Our first thought was: LOW expectations, this is going to be awful, especially the actor they picked for Moe.
BUT WAIT! LARRY DAVID as Sister Mary-Mengele, the bitchy nun?
Ridiculously-hot Sophia Vergara as the main female character?
Brian Doyle-Murray (Captain K’Nuckles from Flapjack, also in Motorcity) — finally getting to see his face after hearing all of his voice work.
The Jersey Shore cast? ANOTHER UNEXPECTED! They actually made the movie better!. Seriously — who the fuck could predict this shit in a million years? The main way they make it get better is you get to see Moe slap the shit out of all the annoying Jersey Shore people.
We had thought slapstick was pretty much bottomed out by these guys, sent off to die in a manner similar to the demise of vaudeville & the like. Glad to see it can still be done, and done well.
The backstory of them as babies & as 10 year olds was great!
The orphanage plot that drove the movie may as well have been straight out of the Nintendo game (which I loved, and was one of my favorite Nintendo games as a teen, and it had speech, which was rare for Nintendo).
All in all, it was extremely faithful to the original, and every bit as funny. And it was updated to the modern era without the many sacrifices that often happen when this is done (for example with the 2012ish Smurfs movie).
The only other person we know who saw this also agrees: It’s the funniest movie this year besides Wanderlust. Yes, I laughed way harder than during American Reunion, which was also great.
Go figure. SURPRISE OF THE YEAR.
LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0383010/
June 16, 2016
VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: American Pie 8: American Pie 4: American Reunion (2012)
5/5 stars, 8/10 from Clint, Carolyn, AND Parthena.
Native rating: 7.1/10, 3.9/5 stars (which was also Netflix’s guess for us, for some reason).
I’m so glad they didn’t decide to call this American Pie 4 like they had originally planned, because it really would have mucked up the numbering system for those who numbered the 4 direct-to-video movies.
Not much to say here — This was as good as the first 3 movies collectively were, and was definitley beter than the 4 direct-to-video movies (even if #7 was probably better than #3).
It’s been over a decade, so it’s really hard to remember the original movies for a valid comparison.
The east coast derecho ALMOST ruined the movie for us, but we only lost power for 5 seconds twice. All my previous complaints to Dominion appear to have paid off.
This movie was a really really good time! (And the first one where the main characters aren’t in high school or college.)
LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1605630/
June 16, 2016
VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: Treasure Planet (2002)
Clint: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 3.6/5 stars (Netflix guess for us=3.1), 6.7/10.
I enjoyed it — though not as much as Carolyn…
…but it was still a Disney KIDS movie, with little adult in it at all.
It was kind of hokey and family and predictable and watered down — no blood during wounds, off-screen deaths only.
Still, I’m glad I finally got around to watching this, and the animation was definitely Disney quality.
Pretty funny that as of 2011, this flim is Disney’s greatest financial loss — still $79M down. Taking 10 years to make it probably didn’t help. And did they really have to censor the fact that the dog (voiced by Niles Crane from Frasier) was the one who gave birth? Too controversial for a male to give birth? C’mon, Disney!
LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133240/
June 6, 2016
VIDEO: MOVIE: REVIEW: The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, & Her Lover (1989
) Clint/Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
This downgrades Clint’s previous 5/5 star rating. The cinematography is 5/5 stars, 9/10 though.
Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars (Netflix), 7.4/10 (IMDB).
I had forgotten just how “NC-17” this movie was! And how beautifully it was shot!
This movie is the ultimate trainwreck: I do not think there is a character in all of cinema that can foster so much contempt within the first 5 minutes of the movie, only to have the level of contempt steadily increase at a non-stop pace throughout the entire movie.
The death scenes weren’t as gory as I thought they were. And I really didn’t remember the eroticism angle very much.
But damn… If you want to HATE and HATE and HATE and HATE a character more than anything — only to have a very satisfying ending — watch this. (And also “The King’s Whore”, except it’s nowhere to be found.)
Delicatessen has some similar themes, almost as if it was inspired by this.
And oh… Both Dumbledore#2 (main asshole) AND his Dumbledore brother (main asshole’s lackey) are in this! TWO DUMBLEDORES! What are the odds? TWO DUMBLEDORES!!! LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097108/
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