Claire's blog

[IMDB link]

RATINGS:
Clio: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8.4/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 4/5 stars. IMDB: 8.4/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: Netflix: 3.3/5 stars, IMDB: 7.3/10.

CAROLYN’S THOUGHTS: This wasn’t definitely not what I expected. It was more about the psychological aspect rather than the “OMG shit is going down, run away!” aspect.

CLIO’S THOUGHTS: Not at all like the original. Quite unexpected. John Goodman is really good in this — like a completely different person. I’d like to see a 3rd Cloverfield movie. This second installment of the franchise seems to want to set the frahchise up more as a universe to expore episodically, than as a serialized story. This 2nd Cloverfield movie is sorta-kinda a prequel to the first. Sort of. And it’s pretty much a completely different genre. It’s almost cliche the way they intentionally betrayed our expectations. But it definitely makes for a 2nd “flavor” of the Cloverfield story.

PEOPLE:

Directed by Dan Trachtenberg.
Written by Josh Campbell, Matthew Stuecken, & Damien Chazelle.

Starring:
John Goodman as Howard.
Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Death Proof, Grindhouse, A.C.O.D., Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Smashed, Final Destination 3) as Michelle.
John Gallagher Jr. as Emmett.
Douglas M. Griffin (Oldboy remake, Self/less, G.I. Joe 2, This Is The End) as Driver.
Suzanne Cryer (Laurie in Silicon Valley, Wag The Dog, 1 ep of Nip/Tuck, 1 ep of Seinfeld) as Woman.
Bradley Cooper (The Hangover movies, Limitless, Guardians Of The Galaxy, The A-Team, All About Steve, American Hustle, The Rocker, He’s Just Not That Into You, Wet Hot American Summer, Stella Shorts, Wedding Crashers, 6 eps of Nip/Tuck) as Ben.
Sumalee Montano (Katana in Beware The Batman, Arcee in Transformers Prime) as Voice on Radio. (more…)

Clio: 5/5 stars, 8.3/10.
Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 8.4/10.
Native ratings: 3.3/5 stars Netflix, 6.2/10 IMDB.

Carolyn: This was a creepy movie – It made me think of Paranormal Activity, but this one seemed slightly better, but that could have been the adrenaline talking. Definitely some creepy moments.

Clio: Had me pretty freaked out. But no way was it better than Paranormal Activity. It did, however, have me distraught throughout most of the movie, even though the actual plot wasn’t really that unique. It was either done very well, or I was in a optimum mental state to enjoy a movie such as this. I thought it was just going to be a 3-star’er. Also at play is the fact that we haven’t watched a horror movie in ages, so maybe we enjoyed this more than usual because of that.

Or maybe it was just that things were pretty goddamn creepy.

This is reminiscent in feel (but not content) to The Fourth Kind.

There are indeed a lot of cliches, plot holes, people doing really stupid shit when they didn’t have to, but for godssake, this is a horror movie, what did you expect? I often rate horror movies high because I consider them to only be able to be so good, and if they are that good, they are as good as one can be, and ergo are high rated.

Written & directed by Scott Stewart.

Starring Keri Russell (Felicity, Mission Impossible 3, Honey I Blew Up The Kid, 1 ep of Arrested Development, 1 ep of Married With Children) as Lacy Barrett.
Josh Hamilton (Stella shorts, The Bourne Identity, 1 ep of Delocated, 1 ep of Absolutely Fabulous) as Daniel Barrett.
Dakota Goyo (young Thor in Thor) as Jesse Barrett.
Kadan Rockett as Sam Barrett.
J.K. Simmons (Oz, Tenzin in Legend Of Korra, 3 Geezers, J. Jonah Jameson in the Spiderman movies, Hulk And The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H., Marvel’s Avengers Assemble, The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Ultimate Spider-Man, and 2 eps of The Simpsons, Juno; I Love You, Man; Jennifer’s Body, 4 eps of The Marvelous Misadventures Of Flapjack) as Edwin Pollard.
L.J. Benet as Kevin Ratner, Jesse’s friend.
Rich Hutchman (Crazy, Stupid, Love, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon) as Mike Jessop.
Myndy Crist (The Time Machine (2002), 4 eps of Six Feet Under, 1 ep of 24) as Karen Jessop.
Annie Thurman (The Hunger Games) as Shelly Jessop, Jesse’s crush.
Ron Ostrow (The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, The Jerky Boys, A Few Good Men, 1 ep of Firefly, 1 ep of Just Shoot Me) as Richard Klein.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2387433/combined

[IMDB link]

RATINGS:
Clio: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8.7/10.
Carolyn: Netflix: 5/5 stars. IMDB: 8.6/10.
The native public rating for this movie is: Netflix: 3.0/5 stars, IMDB: 4.6/10.

CAROLYN’S THOUGHTS: Better than the last one. Very creepy. They didn’t beat around the bush, that escalated pretty quickly. But then I’d be like “Get the fuck outta here” sooner than they did. And you slept with your daughter one night and creepy shit happened, and so you don’t sleep with her the next night? But overall, it was good. The franchise overall is good, too.

CLIO’S THOUGHTS: The last one, Paranormal Activity 5, had a lot of shakycam, which people won’t like. I don’t care about that very much, but it did seem like they were trying to get on the Cloverfield bandwagon a bit more with the last one. This returns more to the fixed camera formula used in Paranormal Activity 1, Paranormal Activity 2, Paranormal Activity 3, and Paranormal Activity 4. So it feels more authentic to the franchise. It also links the story together a bit more.

The Paranormal Activity movies follow an almost Saw-like formula of successive retconning. And I like that. I look forward to the next one.

RECOMMENDATION: If the last Paranormal Activity movie made you want to abandon the franchise, this one is better.

PEOPLE:

Directed by Gregory Plotkin.
Written by Jason Pagan (Project Almanac), Andrew Deutschman (Project Almanac), Adam Robitel, Gavin Heffernan, Brantley Aufill, Jason Pagan (Project Almanac) & Andrew Deutschman (Project Almanac).

Starring:
Chris J. Murray as Ryan.
Brit Shaw as Emily.
Ivy George (Krampus) as Leila.
Dan Gill (The Wedding Ringer, 1 ep of The Office) as Mike.
Olivia Taylor Dudley (Transcendence, uncredited in The Dictator, uncredited in Walk Hard, 1 ep of Arrested Development) as Skyler.
Chloe Csengery (Paranormal Activity 3,5) as Katie.
Jessica Tyler Brown (Paranormal Activity 3,5) as Kristi.
Don McManus (The Maze Runner, National Treasure, The Onion Movie, Ocean’s Thirteen, Magnolia, 2 eps of 24) as Kent.
Michael Krawic (Legally Blonde 2, 3 eps of In Living Color, 1 ep of Malcolm In The Middle, 1 ep of Lois & Clark) as Father Todd.
Hallie Foote (Paranormal Activity 3,5) as Grandma Lois.
Aiden Lovekamp (Paranormal Activity 4) as Hunter Rey.
Cara Pifko (6 eps of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 4 eps of Better Call Saul) as Laura.
Mark Steger (I Am Legend, uncredited in Men In Black 2) as Tobi.

This is the first (only) one not to have Katie Featherston (Paranormal Activity 1-5) as Katie. (more…)

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Idle Hands (1999)

Clio: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 3.3/5 stars Netflix, 5.9/10 IMDB.

Clio’s thoughts:  Not a masterpiece, but certainly better than most horror movies and a lot of comedy movies. Plus it’s about the actual week of Halloween, so it’s a great movie to watch around Halloween time. Especially if you want to watch a comedy, and your wife wants to watch a horror — You get both with this!

True horror-comedy — not just horror that happens to be funny — is a great genre, and one that should be explored more.  I’d recommend this movie to anyone who likes the series Todd And The Book Of Pure Evil — and vice-versa. This barely deserves to be called a horror, but then, you gotta warn the wusses who’d get angry if they ordered up a comedy and received a single drop of blood!

But anyway… Lighthearted fun. It’s about the journey, not the destination. Watch a guy’s hand go crazy. Or just watch Jessica Alba. This movie has options…

Carolyn’s thoughts:  We had seen this many years ago, and it held up to the second viewing.  I had forgotten all the awesome faces that were in this movie: Seth Green, Fred Willard, Jessica Alba (who is really hot, but doesn’t rock the short hair as well as long, in my opinion)…

Directed by Rodman Flender (2 eps of The Office, Leprechaun 2).  Written by Terri Hughes & Ron Milbauer.

Directed by Rodman Flender (2 eps of The Office, Leprechaun 2). Written by Terri Hughes & Ron Milbauer.

Starring Devon Sawa (Final Destination, Slackers, 1 ep of Spider-Man: The New Animated Series) as Anton Tobias.
Seth Green (Robot Chicken, Family Guy, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Can’t Hardly Wait, Hulk And The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H., Greg The Bunny, Titan Maximum, Without A Paddle, 8 eps of Batman Beyond, 4 eps of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 4 eps of MADtv, 3 eps of Mad, 2 eps of Heroes, 2 eps of Holliston) as Mick.
Fred Willard as Dad Tobias.
Elden Henson (The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Cast Away, The Mighty Ducks) as Pnub.
Jessica Alba (Dark Angel, Fantastic Four, Little Fockers, Machete, The Ten, Never Been Kissed, 1 ep of The Office) as Molly.
Vivica A. Fox (Kill Bill, Miss Nobody, Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood, Independence Day, 11 eps of Curb Your Enthusiasm) as Debi LeCure.
Christopher Hart (Thing in the Addams Family movies) as The Hand. This guy only plays disembodied hands.
Jack Noseworthy (Pretty Ugly People, Cecil B. DeMented, Alive, Encino Man) as Randy.
Katie Wright (2 eps of The Wonder Years) as Tanya.
Sean Whalen (Hatchet III, The FP. Halloween 2 (2009), Men In Black, Waterworld, Revenge Of The Nerds 3) as McMacy.
Nicholas Sadler (Twister) as Ruck.
Connie Ray (Thank You For Smoking, Speed 2, Space Jam, 1 ep of Quantum Leap) as Mom Tobias.
Steve Van Wormer (he does video game voices nowadays) as Curtis.
Kelly Monaco (1151 eps of General Hospital, uncredited in BASEketball) as Tiffany.
Timothy Stack (Dick Dietrick in Night Stand, Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, Scary Movie 3, Cast Away, The Brave Little Toaster movies, American Pie Presents Band Camp, Maid For Each Other, 1 ep of Malcolm In The Middle) as Principal Tidwell.
Greg K (The Offspring) as Himself.
Noodles (The Offspring) as Himself.
Ron Welty (The Offspring) as Himself.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0138510/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Would You Rather (2012)

Clio: 5/5 stars, 8/10.
Carolyn: 4/5 stars, 8/10.
Native ratings: 3.1/5 stars Netflix, ???/10 IMDB.

That movie was pretty disturbing. I feel like it was kind of a cross between Saw and Hostel. It had me on sitting up on the edge of my seat the entire movie, quite disturbed and worried. This is the point of a horror movie. To horrify you. And it worked.

This is one that a lot of the old school hipster-horror-snobs will dismiss as “torture porn” or merely seving to horrify the viewer without constructing some grand legend or theme or message.

It is true that there is not much to this movie at all.  It’s short and sweet and simple. But it is messed up, and leaves you thinking about how messed up it was for days afterward. So good stuff.

Carolyn: This was interesting.  Kind of like Saw meets a childhood game with a twist…

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1999995/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW:Fright Night 2: New Blood (2013)

Carolyn: That movie was dumb.  The annoying friend was more annoying than funny and he had no redeeming qualities… The vampire wasn’t very hidden, and was just so obvious, and it barely made any sense.  Ugh, this movie was just so stupid.  I rolled my eyes a lot.  I tried to keep my hatred to myself because I could tell Clio was at least liking it more than me and I didn’t want to taint his enjoyment of it, but eventually I couldn’t hold out and I had to express how dumb that movie was.  Stay away.  Don’t bother with this one.

Clio: Stupid, but I don’t expect much from direct-to-video sequels of remakes.  I mean, this movie is so far removed from the original I wasn’t expecting much. The main vampiress was super hot, there were a few moments of comedy, but for the most part it was just an ultra-generic horror with some extra-retarded moments, so retarded they detracted from the movie.

Directed by Eduardo Rodriguez.
Written by Matt Venne.

Starring a bunch of nobodies:
Will Payne as Charley Brewster.
Jaime Murray (1 ep of Childrens Hospital) as Gerri Dandridge.
Sean Power as Peter Vincent, the monster hunter TV show host.
Sacha Parkinson as Amy Peterson, the girlfriend.  She’s got creepy-hot down.
Chris Waller as ‘Evil’ Ed Bates.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2486630/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) [watched in 3-D]

Clio: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Evan: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.2/5 stars Netflix, 4.8/10 IMDB.

Our first-ever 3D movie night, with Clio, Carolyn, Greg, John, Radha, Evan, & Javier. We got together to watch the new Star Trek movie (Star Trek 2 / 12) but it ended up being the first one (Star Trek 1 / 11).  So we had to quickly decide what else to watch, and this was what brought up the least objections.

We thought this was a remake of the original, but it turned out to be a follow up to the original movie.  Clio & I had never seen the original, but it didn’t seem to detract from our experience.  This was entertaining, but it didn’t have that much going for it.  Not much to the story.  We watched it in 3D on our new TV with 5 other people, and that made it more fun.

Directed by John Luessenhop.

Written by Adam Marcus (Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday), Debra Sullivan, and Kirsten Elms.

Starring Alexandra Daddario (Percy Jackson movies, 1 ep of The Sopranos) as Heather Miller.
Dan Yeager as Leatherface.
Trey Songz as Ryan, Heather’s boyfriend.
Scott Eastwood (Gran Torino) as Carl, the young cop.
Tania Raymonde (5 eps of Malcolm In The Middle) as Nikki, Heather’s friend.
Shaun Sipos (The Grudge 2, Final Destination 2, 1 ep of Smallville) as Darryl.
Keram Malicki-Sánchez (Sex And Death 101, 3 eps of The L Word, 4 eps of Garbage Pail Kids, 2 eps of Friday The 13th: The Series, 1 ep of 24) as Kenny, Nikki’s date.
James MacDonald (1 ep of Weeds, 1 ep of 24) as Officer Marvin.
Thom Barry (The Fast And The Furious, Space Jam, Apollo 13, Independence Day, 2 eps of Seinfeld, 1 ep of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1 ep of Space Above And Beyond) as Sheriff Hooper.
Paul Rae (1 ep of Malcolm In The Middle) as Burt Hartman.
Richard Riehle (Santa Claus in A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, Smiley Face, Extracted, The Beach Party At The Threshold Of Hell, Office Space, Hatchet, Mysterious Skin, Palindromes, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, Dorm Daze 2, The Man From Earth, 4 eps of The Legend Of Korra, 1 ep of Drunk History) as Farnsworth. He still reminds us of the “I’ll make your bub-bubs bounce” / “this is what I do, I sit on you” guy.
Bill Moseley (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Army Of Darkness, Night Of The Living Dead, Dead Air, The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Grindhouse, The Devil’s Rejects, 8 eps of Carnivale, 5 eps of Holliston) as Drayton Sawyer.
David Born (1 ep of Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!) as Gavin Miller, Heather’s adopted dad.
Sue Rock as Arlene Miller, Heather’s adopted mom.
Ritchie Montgomery (Django Unchained, Looper, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Green Lantern, 1 ep of Carnivale) as Ollie.
Dodie Brown as Loretta Sawyer, Heather’s real mom.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1572315/combined

Clio: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.6/5 stars Netflix, 3.4/10 IMDB.

The Swan, Paranormal Activity 2, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, Inception, Evil Dead. These were the primary movies spoofed.

This wasn’t that great, but it was still Zucker enough to be entertaining. Carolyn seemed to like it slightly better than Clio. It definitely could have been better, but it definitely could have been worse. It certainly wasn’t as good as Scary Movie 4, which wasn’t as good as Scary Movie 3, which wasn’t… Well, you get the picture. Maybe this was actually better than Scary Movie 4.

No Anna Faris this time. Apparently, she was pregnant. The rest of the characters declined to come back too. So this is almost like “Scary Movie presents: Rise Of The Paranormal Swanception”.

I’ll still watch a Scary Movie 6 if it ever comes out. But it’s probably time to stop now. Even Marlon Wayans has moved on to his own franchise: A Haunted House. This is a basically a franchise cooped by a corporation at this point. Zucker — now only a writer, and not a director — is the only element of legitimacy remaining.

But I’d still watch a 6…. sigh.

coincidence: (real life, Scary Movie 5) After seeing cellphone credit-card readers for the first time ever (and seeing a shitload of them) at BronyCon, 4 days later they show up in this movie.

Directed by Malcolm D. Lee. Written by David Zucker (BASEketball, Naked Gun 33 1/3, Airplane!, The Kentucky Fried Movie, 6 eps of Police Squad, director of Scary Movie 3 & 4) & Pat Proft (Scary Movie 3-4, Naked Gun movies, Police Academy movies, Hot Shots movies, The Star Wars Holiday Special).

Starring Ashley Tisdale (Phineas And Ferb, 2 eps of Family Guy, High School Musical movies) as Jody Sanders.
Simon Rex (Scary Movie 3-4, Superhero Movie) as Dan.
Lidia Porto (Idiocracy) as Maria.
Snoop Dogg as Ja’ Marcus.
Erica Ash (MADtv) as Kendra Brooks.
J.P. Manoux (Trailer Park of Terror, Eurotrip) as Pierre.
Molly Shannon (Tina in Neighbors From Hell, Saturday Night Live, Wet Hot American Summer, Scary Movie 4) as Heather Darcy.
Josh Robert Thompson (fake Arnold Schwarzenegger on 2 eps of Howard Stern On Demand, The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson) as Narrator (voice).
Terry Crews (Herbert Love in Arrested Development, Terminator Salvation, 3 eps of The Boondocks) as Martin Jacobs.
Katrina Bowden (Movie 43, Piranha 3DD, American Reunion) as Natalie.
Christopher ‘Critter’ Antonucci (he’s usually a stuntman) as Caesar.
Charlie Sheen as Charlie Sheen.
Lindsay Lohan as Lindsay Lohan.
Heather Locklear as Barbara.
Kate Walsh as Mal.
Mike Tyson as Mike Tyson.

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0795461/combined

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Road Trip (2000)

Road Trip (2000) –
Clio: 4.6/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Carolyn: 4.6/5 stars, 8.6/10.
Native ratings: 3.5/5 stars Netflix, 6.4/10 IMDB.

The director/co-writer of this movie (Todd Phillips) later went on to direct Old School, The Hangover 1-3, and Due Date — most of which he also co-wrote. He also co-wrote Borat. So suffice to say: This is the early work of a comedic genius of a writer-director, and it most definitely held up to a second viewing. It’s been so long since we saw at the Arlington Drafthouse, we were even wondering if we liked it better the second time around.

College road trip caper sex comedy? That’d kind of an ideal type of movie for us! And this movie is even complimented by people who normally hate that kind of thing. Some say this one “transcends the genre”. That’s a bit of an overblown description, but this movie is real good for what it is.

On paper, it sounds derivative, formulaic, and generic. In practice, it’s an excellent instance of this kind of movie that we’ve all seen before. One that should be revisited and that is worth watching twice!

Cast-wise:

Breckin Meyer as main character Josh Parker (Robot Chicken, Joseph Gribble in King Of The Hill, Titan Maximum, Jon in the 2004 & 2006 Garfield movies, 54, Clueless).
His girlfriend Tiffany, the child-hood sweetheart turned long-distance relationship, is played by Rachel Blanchard (Snakes On A Plane, Without A Paddle, 62 eps of Clueless, Are You Afraid Of The Dark?). She looks absolutely amazing as a redhead–better than any of her blondeish IMDB pics.
Amy Smart as new-love-interest Beth Wagner (6 eps of Robot Chicken, Crank 1/2, Mirrors, Starship Troopers, Just Friends).

His roadtrip buddies are played by:
Seann William Scott as the guy Seann William Scott always plays (Stifler in the American Pie movies, Goon, Bo in The Dukes Of Hazzard movie(s), Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Dude Where’s My Car?, Final Destination, Role Models, Old School, Evolution).
Paulo Costanzo as the scientist pothead (Puff Puff Pass, Joey’s brother in the Joey Friends-spinoff).
DJ Qualls as the wimpy friend (we JUST saw him in Small Apartments, but seeing Road Trip under his name on IMDB was what prompted us to watch this movie. He is also in The New Guy, 1 ep of Breaking Bad, and Senior Trip).

Tom Green as Barry Manilow, the guy who is afraid to leave campus and is obsessed with feeding the snake. His college campus tour provided the framing device for the rest of the movie, which is just a story he was telling a tour group.

The douchebag who tries to get get Breckin Meyer to fail his exam is Anthony Rapp (Dazed And Confused, Adventures In Babysitting, Twister, A Beautiful Mind).

We also have:
Andy Dick as the motel clerk.
Ethan Suplee as Ed (Fanboys, The Fountain, Without A Paddle, Dogma, Chasing Amy, Mallrats).
Horatio Sanz as French Toast Guy (Wreck-It Ralph, Year One, Step Brothers).
Ellen Albertini Dow as Mrs. Manilow (Barry’s Grandma) (Not Another Not Another Movie, Wedding Crashers, Disco Dotty in 54. Carolyn recognized her and said, “She’s a very recognizable Old Lady”. This is one of the few actors Carolyn recognizes and Clio doesn’t).
Mary Lynn Rajskub as a blind chick (Safety Not Guaranteed, Chloe O’Brian in 24, Mysterious Skin, Dude, Where’s My Car?, Man On The Moon, Magnolia, The Larry Sanders Show, Mr. Show With Bob And David).

Who would have guessed it was Jimmy Kimmel who was the voice of the Dog?
Todd Barry as Campus Security #1 (Delocated, Wanderlust, 3 eps of Bob’s Burgers, 3 eps of Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1, Brian the Alter Boy in Lucy: The Daughter Of The Devil, 1 eps of Tom Goes To The Mayor, 1 ep of Wonder Showzen, 2 eps of Squidbillies, 3 eps of O’Grady, 13 eps of Dr. Katz). It’s always a shame that I don’t really recognize minor players like this, despite benefiting from their contributions for 20 years.

By the way, the big girl who seduced DJ Qualls died of fatness. Not really, but she had to have knee surgery. Probably because knees aren’t meant to support that kind of weight. Complications killed her. That is too bad. She was good looking for a BBW. http://www.tmz.com/2011/05/11/road-trip-actress-mia-amber-davis-dies-dead-died-plus-size-model-death-rhonda/

LINK URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0215129/combined