March 2019

VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: I Give It a Year (2013)

I Give It A Year (2013) – Clio: 3/5 stars, 6.4/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6.4/10.
Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars Netflix, 6.0/10 IMDB.

This was most likely selected to be watched because 1) Anna Faris, 2) sounded tolerable. Pleased to say it delivered on both fronts, and even exceeded the average rom-com. This is a *BRITISH* rom-com, so there’s a bit more nuance and class to things (even though 2 of the 4 main characters are USAians).

The beginning half was much funnier than the ending half — like most formulaic rom-coms. INCREDIBLY AWKWARD SCENES. Lots of awkwardness. So awkward.

Things get interesting when we start to realize that instead of the normal a love triangle (or love line segment), this movie gives us a love quadrangle.

Things get even more interesting when you realize that this movie actually has a yin-yang zen balance to it that other rom-coms want — This is as much about ending a bad relationship as it is about starting a good relationship.

The ending was pretty damn unique and awesome for a romantic comedy, and the movie is possibly solely worth watching just for The Climactic Scene That Is The Opposite Of What You’d Think It Would Be, and The Twice As Improbable As Usual Ending Scene.

I’d recommend it if you want to see a “rom-com done right” (not my words).

Directed and written by Dan Mazer (writer of Bruno, 4 eps of Da Ali G Show, Director of 6 eps of Da Ali G Show)

Starring Rafe Spall (Prometheus, Shaun Of The Dead, Grindhouse, Hot Fuzz, Life Of Pi) as the husband Josh.
Rose Byrne (Moira MacTaggert in X-Men: First Class, Get Him To The Greek, 28 Weeks Later, Sunshine, 1 ep of Portlandia) as Josh’s wife, Nat.
Anna Faris as Chloe, the ex-girlfriend.
Simon Baker (Sex And Death 101, L.A. Confidential) as That Corporate Guy Who Would Be Hugh Grant If This Was Another Movie.
Stephen Merchant (Ricky Gervais‘s sidekick) as the Glen Colen the creepy friend.
Minnie Driver (Brooke Shields in the South Park movie, Carlotta in The Phantom Of The Opera) as the friend who hates her husband, Naomi. Damn she’s still got it going on.
Jason Flemyng (Azazel in X-Men: First Class, Hanna, Clash Of The Titans remake, Kick-Ass, Mirrors, Transporter 2, Snatch, Clueless) as Hugh, the husband.
Nigel Planer (Neil from the Young Ones, The Colour Of Magic, Hogfather, Brazil) as someone’s dad.
Jane Asher (she’s been around since the 50’s.) as Diana, main wife’s mom.


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: Kindergarten Cop (1990)

Clio: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Native ratings: 3.3/5 stars Netflix, 5.9/10 IMDB.

When we watched this, our expectations weren’t that high. Neither of us had seen it, and we don’t like children.

But the children didn’t hurt this movie. It was light-hearted and entertaining. An overall pass, for sure. And at least we’re now slightly more in sync with pop movie culture.

There was definitely some idiotic writing… Worse than you’d expect even from a low-grade National Lampoon type comedy. But also, this was 22 years ago, and that shit passed muster way more back then.

We found out the quotes from that prank call mp3 we have were from this movie, and that was good for extra laughs. (Basically, there is a set of prank calls made using Arnold Schwarzenegger samples.)  So I was saying a couple lines before they were said … Even though I’d never seen the movie. (“I’m a cop, you idiot!”)

Bullshit censorship: In post-911 versions, they’ve removed the line where Ahhnold calls the kids terrorists. FUCKING RIDICULOUS BULLSHIT. More political-based semantic shift.

Directed by Ivan Reitman (Ghostbusters 1-2, Junior, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Stripes).
Written by Murray Salem (this is the only thing he wrote, but he has acted in 11 things, none of which we have seen).
Arnold Schwarzenegger as Detective John Kimble.
Penelope Ann Miller (The Shadow, Adventures In Babysitting, Big Top Pee-Wee) as Joyce Palmieri / Rachel Crisp.
Pamela Reed (Bob Roberts, 3 eps of Simpsons, Junior, Parks And Recreation) as Detective Phoebe O’Hara.
Linda Hunt (Management in Carnivale!) as the principal.
Richard Tyson (Kingpin, There’s Something About Mary, Me, Myself & Irene) as Cullen Crisp, Sr..
Carroll Baker (The Watcher In The Woods, How The West Was Won) as the mother of the criminal.
Cathy Moriarty (But I’m A Cheerleader) as Sylvester’s Mother.
Tom Kurlander (Flatliners, Young Guns 2, Gross Anatomy) as the guy who told the criminal where his wife was hiding.
Alix Koromzay (Mimic, Ghost In The Machine) as Cindy, the witness.
One of the 5 year olds was Odette Annable, who went on to become a hot chick in Cloverfield and Walk Hard… Creepy.
Heidi Swedberg (Susan in Seinfeld, Galaxy Quest) as Joshua’s Mother. She did not get killed by poison envelopes in this movie. We also did not even notice it was her.


VIDEO: MOVIES: REVIEW: How To Lose Friends & Alienate People (2008)

Clio: 3/5 stars, 6/10.
Carolyn: 3.6/5 stars, 7.2/10.
Native ratings: 3.2/5 stars Netflix, 6.5/10 IMDB.

A moderately funny movie where Simon Pegg plays an asshole celebrity journalist who wants to shake things up. Watch this for the Simon Pegg Vs. Megan Fox Vs. Kirsten Dunst love triangle. This movie is pretty predictable, and not that special. I’d only recommend it if you are a fan of the actors. In that case, it is serviceable and worth a few laughs.

Directed by Robert B. Weide (producer and director on Curb Your Enthusiasm), and based on a book by Toby Young–Who was subsequently banned from the set as he was reportedly annoying actors and interrupting the director as he tried to direct scenes.

Simon Pegg plays the main character, with Kirsten Dunst as the co-worker, and Megan Fox as the movie star. Jeff Bridges (The Dude!) as the magazine editor. Gillian Anderson (Scully in X Files…officially hotter now than ever) as the publicist.  Danny Huston (Poseiden in Clash Of The Titans remake, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, The Number 23) as the douche. Also, the landlord lady–Mariam Margoyles–was in Harry Potter (Professor Pomono Spout).